Hold Me Now & Don't Let Go
by Halawen
Summary: It's a new semester at DeGrassi, Clare & Eli are getting close again could they be getting back together? But Fitz is back at the school and he still has eyes for Clare. There's also a new hockey team at the school. If all that weren't enough Clare has her dream co-op with Asher Shostak but is he really only interested in her skills? Some Flare, some Eclare, w/Clallas friendship.
1. I've Been Here for the Show

**Welcome to the new Sunday night story!**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***Pretty much cannon to "Come As You Are" with some exceptions.**

 ***Luke comes alone his family does not move with him.**

 ***Fitz begged Simpson to let him back. He does still work at The Dot but mostly weekends and a few nights.**

 ***Spinner married Paige not Emma. Sean married Emma for the record.**

 **That should do it, the rest is explained in the chapter or will be in future chapters, hope you enjoy.**

 **Ch. 1 I've Been Here for the Show**

 **(CLARE)**

"Hey everyone," I greet Alli, Dave, Jenna, Adam and Drew as I join them at the bottom of the steps.

"Did you see who's back?" Jenna asks motioning with her head. I look over and see Fitz sitting on the bannister, he looks at me and grins.

"He sees you," Dave remarks.

"You think he's really back or just loitering at the school?" Drew queries.

"I didn't know you knew the word loitering," Alli quips.

"He can't be loitering," I reply as we enter the school, "if he weren't a student he wouldn't be allowed on school grounds."

"I wonder what Eli will think about it," Adam says with a bit of a worried sigh.

"They've both changed, we know Eli is bipolar he didn't know that last year. Fitz has changed since juvie I'm sure it will be fine. Besides Simpson wouldn't have let Fitz back if he thought he was dangerous," I comment.

"I think you shouldn't worry about Fitz or Eli because you have a whole hockey team of new romantic prospects to choose from," Alli grins.

"Can we stop talking about relationships?" Drew requests with a slightly annoyed tone.

"What's with him?" I question Adam.

"He wants to break up with Katie, he tried to do it the other night when he went to her house for dinner and her family gave him a sweater," Adam laughs.

"You're hopeless, girl after girl," I admonish Drew.

"I want to be with Bianca again," Drew replies with an offended tone.

"Well that's better at least you and Bianca ma…" I stop talking when I become overwhelming dizzy. My eyes flutter slightly and I grip onto Drew's arm as I falter and nearly fall.

"Whoa," Drew says putting an arm around my waist to steady me.

"Clare?" Adam asks with a worried tone putting a hand on my shoulder. The dizziness passes and I stand upright again.

"I'm okay just got really dizzy, guess I should have had breakfast this morning. Sorry Drew didn't mean to grab you like that," I apologize.

"It's fine I don't mind being grabbed by a cute girl," he grins, "are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale."

"Yeah I'm fine," I assure them although they're all looking at me like they think I might pass out.

"Let's get you into the assembly and sitting down just to be safe," Adam insists taking my hand.

We go into the auditorium and sit down. I sit between Adam and Jenna, Alli and Dave are on the other side of Jenna and Drew sits in front of us. Katie and Bianca quickly fill the seats next to him and Adam shakes his head. The assembly begins and Simpson announces the end to the uniforms which everyone is happy about. Then he announces the Ice Hounds, the team stands and people cheer. Owen is kind of gloating but it's understandable, since he's the only one from the school and all of Toronto to have made the team. When the Ice Hounds finally sit down I see Eli lingering in the doorway. I smile when I see him remembering our kiss before break.

"Excuse me," I comment moving past Adam to go to the doorway. "You're late," I chide him and he smirks. "How was New York?"

"Egh I hated it, all this art and culture," Eli says making a face and I giggle.

"So you loved it," I laugh.

"I'm already thinking about my NYU portfolio for next year."

"Eli that's amazing," I smile. "So…" I begin wondering if I should bring up the kiss.

"So…" Eli says slowly, "ha…" Eli gets interrupted by the bell, "so can I walk you to class?"

I smile and he walks me to my co-op class, we stop near the doorway. I look at Eli and bite my lip, I want Eli to bring up the kiss I'm afraid to bring it up.

"Hey Eli," Adam says walking up.

"Hi Adam," Eli grins at him looks back at me, "I should get to class, see you guys around."

I wave to Eli and walk into class with Adam, we of course take seats that are next to each other.

"So you two were looking pretty cozy again," Adam comments.

"Do you think it's a bad idea? After how things ended last time?" I ask Adam biting my lip. He knows the two of us better than anyone and I wonder if my heart, and heartbreak from Jake, aren't playing tricks on me.

"I think you guys are amazing together, and I think that Eli has learned a lot since he crashed his car. And I think you can make your own decisions about who to date, as you always have. As someone who knows you both and loves you like family just be careful okay? Eli knows a lot more but when it comes to you he has blinders on. Sometimes you are all that he sees and nothing will stand in his way. His medications help but that doesn't mean he won't still see you with blinders on to everything else and I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"I'll be careful Adam, and I love you like family too," I grin and kiss his cheek. Adam smiles and Miss Oh clears her throat so we look at her.

"Welcome everyone, I have all your applications, essays and questionnaires you filled out last semester to get into this class. Most of you will be placed sometime this week and until you're placed we'll be working on conduct at your placements and basic job skills. However, Clare you have already been placed. You will be working with one of my favorite journalists Asher Shostak," Miss Oh tells me and my heart races excitedly.

"I got placed with Asher?" I ask with a dubious tone. It was the placement I was dying for but I never believed I'd get it.

"Yes and they're expecting you this morning so you'll leave after first period," Miss Oh says handing me my paperwork.

"Good luck," Adam smiles and I squeal excitedly.

I can barely sit through the rest of class and I hop up running from the classroom to get to co-op. I'm in the hall before the bell even rings. I run from the classroom and down the hall, turning a corner and then I run into two people. I fall back onto my butt and a shooting pain goes through me when I hit the floor.

"Ow!" I shriek with a painful whimper.

"Dallas beating up girls is no way to attract them," Owen teases and I look up to see that I ran into two of the Ice Hounds.

"Yeah take it easy Dallas Clare is fragile," Drew mocks walking over with Owen.

"She came speeding around the hallway and hit us. Not our fault we're so sculpted we stopped her like a brick wall," Dallas replies with a cocky smirk as he and the other boy help me up. "So you're Clare, seen you pics," Dallas says and I furrow my brow at him.

"He's billeted with us," Drew explains.

"That's Dallas and Luke, they're usually only that rough on the ice," Owen tells me.

"You alright Clare? We didn't hurt you did we?" Dallas questions.

"I'm okay I just landed hard but I have to go I have to get to my co-op I got my dream placement," I smile excitedly.

The three Ice Hounds and Drew part ways and I run past them hopping in the truck and driving to The Interpreter. I text Jake that I have the truck when I park in the garage. I'm shaking on the elevator ride up to the 7th floor and The Interpreter offices.

"I'm Clare Edwards, I'm here for Asher Shostak," I tell the woman at the reception desk.

"He's expecting you go on back you'll see his office," she tells me.

I walk back down the hall, most of the people are at desks in an open bullpen area. The few people that do have offices, at least in the area that I can see, the offices are only enclosed by glass so much like our memorial garden they block sound not sight. Asher's office is easy to find, his name is on the door and I see him through the glass behind the desk. I knock on the door and he waves me in.

"Clare it's good to meet you. I hope you're ready to work Newsie because I'm throwing you right in," Asher says getting up from the desk and shaking my hand. I grin at the fact that he calls me Newsie, he's known me for a moment and he's already given me a nickname it makes me feel liked already.

"I was born ready for this," I grin.

"I love your enthusiasm Newsie and you're going to need it. Intern work is grunt work and we're starting you with fact checking. This will be your desk while you're working here," he says leading me to a desk with a stack of papers and files on it. Asher puts his hand on the stack of files, "And this is the fact checking. Do as much as you can before you leave to get back to school. If you need anything come to my office. Welcome aboard Newsie."

I smile and sit down, the stack is a little daunting but I dive right in. I work fast and stay through lunch to finish the stack on my desk before I return to school. Before I leave I knock on Asher's door and he waves me in.

"Fact checking done, double checked and e-mailed to you with corresponding notes and color coded tags in the organized papers on my desk."

"Quite impressive Newsie, I like your determination. Good work, I'll see you tomorrow," Asher smiles.

I grin back before leaving, running down to the truck and racing back to school. I'm in this sort of euphoric high after experiencing even a taste of my dream job. I'm so happy it doesn't even occur to me that I skipped lunch and breakfast, I just park and run into school barely making it to my locker before the bell.

"You look happy," Adam laughs.

"Asher is amazing and I love my internship, I don't even mind that I skipped lunch for three hours of fact -checking," I tell Adam closing my locker and turning to go to class but Adam catches my hand.

"Whoa hang on you skipped lunch? Clare you nearly passed out this morning and told us you skipped breakfast you need to eat something," Adam censures.

"I have to get to class Adam."

"Hey Eli," Adam calls and I look behind me to see Eli.

"What's up?" Eli asks coming over.

"You have a spare this period right?" Adam asks.

"Yeah," Eli nods.

"Good take Clare for something to eat she hasn't eaten all day. When you get to third period just tell the teacher you're late getting back from your co-op," Adam asserts to me and Eli puts his arm loosely around my shoulders.

"You need to eat Edwards," Eli scolds.

"It's been a hectic day," I reply.

Eli takes me to the caf and buys me some yogurt and fruit because that's what I pick out. He asks about my co-op and I tell him about it and Asher while I eat quickly.

"You should probably eat something after school but that should at least get you through the afternoon. Come on I'll walk you to class," Eli says when I finish. "So did you hear about Adam's burn your uniform party after school?" Eli questions as we start walking.

"No but I'm sure he would have told me."

"Everyone's coming," Eli says.

"I'll be there," I smile but stop walking because we've reached the media studies classroom, "well this is me. I'll see you at the party."

Eli smirks and walks off, I enter class and apologize to Miss Oh telling her it was co-op related. Since she's the supervisor for that class she lets it slide but tells me to try and be on time or inform her if I'm going to be late next time. She goes back to her lesson and I take a seat at the only empty desk in the room which is in the front row next to Dave who sits next to K.C., Luke is behind K.C. and Fitz is sitting in the back row but he smiles at me. After class I walk to fourth period, Fitz seems to be following me but I find out we both have the same class this period. He grins as he walks past me taking another seat at the back, I smile politely and then Adam walks in.

"The love triangle begins already," Adam quips.

"Adam!"

"Sorry but I have no love life and the people I'm closest too have very amusing ones. Between you and Drew I get to live exciting love lives vicariously," Adam grins and I shake my head. "Eli tell you about our party after school?"

"He did and I will be there," I reply and Adam smiles.

Class goes by quickly and when it lets out Adam says he's going to pick up party supplies. When I get to my locker Alli and Jenna are at their lockers and talking about the party. I invite them over to get ready and we all leave for my house, walking because we can't find Jake. The three of us are about the same size so they look through my clothes for something to wear.

"Is this top too clingy?" I ask them looking at myself in the mirror.

"Why? Who are we trying to impress?" Jenna asks.

I tell them I kissed Eli before break and they ask why I didn't say anything. I tell them about the kiss but that Eli hasn't said anything about it and he's had multiple opportunities today. After telling me to bring it up myself and embarrassingly getting Jake's opinion we finally leave for the party with Jake.

 **(FITZ)**

"I'm not sure I should be here," I remark as Owen parks at the Torres house.

"Dude shut up you're at the school again and Adam invited everyone in grades eleven and twelve. What happened last year is ancient history, if they can forgive me for the things I did they can forgive you. I'm sure the only one you really have to be afraid of is Eli," Owen replies as we walk down to the basement. He opens the basement door and we walk in, of course Drew and Adam are already here, so is Bianca and Dallas and most of the Ice Hounds.

Owen gets a beer but I stick with pop, Owen starts talking to some of his team. I talk with Bianca for a short time before she goes to help Drew. Eli arrives but he starts talking with Adam and doesn't even look at me. It's not until Clare walks in that we both look at her and then exchange a look between us. Clare looks amazing, incredibly beautiful and she becomes the only other thing in the room for me, until Eli glares at me a little.

"So what's the story there?" I hear Luke asking Owen.

Owen then proceeds to tell Luke the history of me, Clare and Eli, I hear him talking but I'm watching Clare. I watch her for a few minutes as she talks with Adam and then she gets a drink. When she's getting her drink I walk over, approaching cautiously. It's not like I haven't seen her since that stormy day at her house but when I'm working at The Dot there isn't much conversation, it's more asking what she wants and that's only if I'm working in front at the time. Usually I'm in the kitchen or working the bar at Above the Dot. And of course I saw her at school today but we didn't exactly get a chance to talk.

"Hi Clare," I say with a smile.

She looks back at me with a soft and lovely smile, "Hi Fitz."

"Uh do you think we could talk outside for a moment?" I ask hopefully but my heart is pounding.

"Sure," she nods.

I offer her my arm and she takes it. I escort her outside, it's cold but there's a fire going in the fire pit with some of the kid's uniforms burning. There's a lot of kids out here too but I take her to the stairs that lead up to the second story and we sit down.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened last year and t…"

"Clare," Eli cuts me off coming over and we both look at him, "will you dance with me?"

He holds out his hand to her and she looks between him and me. She bites her lip rolling it between her teeth as she looks between us. Then she sighs slightly and takes Eli's hand standing up.

"We'll talk later," she tells me before Eli takes her inside.

I stay out for a couple more minutes before returning inside with my head hung and watching Eli dance with Clare. Owen comes over leaning on me and follows my vision to the two of them dancing.

"What'd you expect after stalking the girl?"

"I didn't mean to stalk her but Eli was dangerous. I was right he crashed just so she'd come see him and I've kept my distance since then."

"And she then broke up with Eli and began dating her soon to be stepbrother. Give her some time, in the meantime stop looking so lovesick and enjoy the party," Owen asserts pulling me away.

Bianca joins us and we talk with her a little, Dallas joins us too. Dallas seems pretty cool, actually he seems a bit like Owen although most of the guys on the hockey team seem a bit like Owen.

"I'm here," Katie announces coming through the door.

"Looks like Katie started the party early," Owen remarks while Drew goes over to her.

"Katie what are you doing here?"

"I forgive you and I'm giving you another chance," Katie replies but her words slur and she's hanging off him.

"We broke up we're done I don't like you anymore, I haven't for a long time I just didn't want to break up with you while you were in drug rehab. Now get out of my house you were not invited," Drew tells her.

"You deserve a slut like Bianca," Katie screeches knocking down the pictures on the table behind the sofa. "I am the best thing you'll ever have," she growls knocking over the food table.

"Okay I think it's time to leave," Jake says taking Katie's arms and pulling her out of the party before she can do any more damage.

"I think the party's over," Dallas remarks and Adam turns off the music.

"I have to get going anyway, curfew. I'd stay and help clean up but…" Bianca is saying when Drew cuts her off.

"No you get home before curfew don't want you to get in trouble," Drew tells her.

"Where'd Clare go?" I inquire looking around but don't see her.

"Eli took her home a while ago," Dallas informs me and my stomach ties in knots fearing that they got back together.

I stay for a while to help clean up, so does Owen, Luke and Dave and I find out Luke is billeted with Dave. After the party I go home and try to sleep but I don't get very much. When I get to school the next morning I wait near the entrance for Clare.

"Good morning," I smile when she walks in.

"Morning Fitz, I'm sorry that we didn't get to talk last night."

"It's okay. Did you and Eli get back together?" I ask with a cautious tone hoping it doesn't sound like I'm meddling.

"No we didn't we talked when he drove me home but not about that. We did talk about spending time together," she says and I smile because they didn't get back together which means I still have a chance.

"Do you think maybe you could help me in some subjects, I'm technically repeating but I'm really bad at math."

"I…" she hesitates and fear she's going to say no, "I suppose that would be okay."

"Great, after school then? Unless you have newspaper?"

"I do but we can meet after that," she smiles and starts to turn away but then turns back. "Why aren't you in grade twelve like you should be?"

"I had to beg Simpson to let me back. He agreed but I didn't have much schooling in juvie and never actually completed my grade eleven year. So I have to finish that first. I don't mind being a year behind my friends I'm just really glad to be back. Besides this way I have classes with you," I smile and she grins back shyly biting her lip.

"I have to get ready for co-op but we'll talk this afternoon about tutoring. I'll see you in third period," she says before taking off for her locker. I keep wearing the grin as I walk to my locker.

"You look happy," Owen remarks.

"Clare's going to tutor me and she didn't get back together with Eli," I smile.

"So you have a fighting chance then?" Owen grins.

"And I've never backed down from a fight," I reply.

"Good I think she's better off with you anyway," Owen says just as the bell rings. "I'm eating lunch with Drew and Bianca you should join us," Owen tells me.

"Cool see you at lunch."

I have math for homeroom and I've never been good with numbers. Dave is in the class, he's friendly but he'll barely look at me. A lot of people who were here before I went to juvie still see me as that bully, even though I've been serving them at The Dot for the last nine months. Luke's also in the class, I wasn't sure what I thought of him at first but we talked at the party last night and he seems pretty cool, we even have a few things in common.

"What's with the smile?" Luke questions.

"Clare agreed to tutor me after school," I reply.

"Does Eli know that?" Dave questions.

"He's not her boyfriend she can tutor whoever she wants," I respond.

"Yeah I know that and you know that and I would never think of telling Clare what to do. But they were getting pretty cozy last night," Dave comments.

"Yeah I know but she told me they didn't get back together."

"Maybe but all I know is I would never want to get between Clare and Eli," Dave remarks.

"Clare's her own girl, who she spends time with is her decision not Eli's. If he wants to start something over her I won't back down, not this time."

 **I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, the update next Sunday will begin in Clare's pov either at co-op or tutoring Fitz. She'll also get to know Dallas a little better.**


	2. Do You, Don't You Want Me

**It's a bit short because it was my dad's birthday and family comes first.**

 **It also ended up being all in Clare's pov tonight.**

 **Ch. 2 Do You, Don't You Want Me**

 **(CLARE)**

"Clare do you want a lift co-op?" Eli asks coming to my locker.

"Don't you have class?"

"Yes but I can be a little late to take you to co-op I'm sure Miss Dawes will understand," Eli smirks.

"I can take the truck, Jake doesn't need it until after school," I reply with a grin.

"Well how about lunch then? At The Dot after your co-op? That is if you don't work through lunch again," Eli says.

"Lunch would be great; I'll try not to work through lunch but right now I have to get going or I'll be late," I reply closing my locker and running out of school.

When I get to co-op Asher is gone, out on assignment, but there is a stack of fact checking on my desk and I get right to work. I'm almost done and have about half an hour before my shift is over and I need to get back to school when Asher returns.

"Newsie run down the street to the coffee shop and get me a red-eye double shot," Asher says putting money on my desk. "You can finish the fact checking when you return."

"Umm okay," I reply getting up and taking the money I grab my purse and walk to the elevator.

While I ride the elevator down to the lobby I text Eli that I might be late or possibly have to raincheck. I run to the coffee shop and get Asher's coffee and run back. Just as I enter Asher's office and hand him the coffee my text alert sound goes off and I look at my phone. Asher peeks over my shoulder to see my phone as well.

"Boyfriend?" Asher asks.

"No, I mean he was last year, and we're…sorry not important. I should get back to the fact-checking so I can finish in time for lunch."

Asher grins at me and I return to my desk. I finish the fact checking and take it into Asher. He says he'll see me tomorrow and I get back to school as fast as I can. I park and text Eli that I'm here.

"How was co-op?" Eli asks.

"It was good, just fact checking and running for coffee but hopefully I'll really be learning from Asher soon," I reply as Eli links his arm with mine and we begin walking to The Dot.

"I'm sure he'll tell you himself but Adam got placed today, he's working for my dad."

"That's great I'm sure Adam went through the roof when he found out."

We're at the café now and he opens the door for me then orders for the two of us. We get our drinks and sit down.

"So we don't have a lot of time but maybe we could do something after school?" Eli asks while we wait for our food.

"I can't, I have the newspaper and then I'm tutoring Fitz."

"Why?" Eli questions with a disapproving and disgusted voice.

"Because he asked for my help Eli. You can't still be mad about last year; you know he's changed."

"Just promise me you'll be careful," Eli says.

"I'll be careful Eli," I respond to assuage him but I've never felt Fitz was a threat.

"I think we should have lunch tomorrow after your co-op, and if you work through lunch again I can take you for something to eat on my spare," Eli smirks.

"Sounds good," I smile.

Our food is brought and I eat kind of quickly since I do have class third period. We walk back to school together and Eli walks me to media studies. Fitz is at his desk already and gives us a look when he sees us lingering together in the doorway.

"Fitz is watching us," Eli snarls.

"Don't start with the jealousy Eli, you're not even my boyfriend yet," I scold him.

"Yet? That means that you want to get back together," Eli smirks.

"It means that I'm still thinking about our kiss before break and I like spending time with you," I tell him and kiss his cheek, "and now I need to get into class."

I walk in and sit down at my desk, I can feel Fitz watching me and I turn to smile at him. Dave and K.C. are talking about basketball tryouts in a couple of weeks but they do stop talking when Miss Oh begins class.

"Walk you to class?" Fitz asks when we leave third period.

"We have the same class this period," I laugh.

"Yeah I know which is why we should walk to class together," he grins and I laugh but we do walk to class together. "So you want to meet at The Dot after school? After your newspaper meeting I mean."

"Sounds great I'll let you know when we finish."

I sit at my desk and Adam comes in sitting next to me. When class lets out I say goodbye to Adam and walk to the DeGrassi Daily office. The newspaper staff meeting seems so mundane compared to the action I see at The Interpreter, even though all I've done so far is fact checking. Still the buzz around The Interpreter office is exciting while talking about assignments on school lunches, school spirit rallies and a profile on the Ice Hounds team captain and the rest of the team don't thrill me at all. The meeting seems to take forever and I am happy when it's over. I leave school, texting Fitz that I'm done and walk to The Dot where I'm meeting Fitz. He's out front and I smile at him.

"I thought we'd do it upstairs it will be quieter," Fitz says showing me to the club.

We go upstairs and he unlocks the door turning on the lights and locking the door behind us. We sit at the bar area on stools and set our books on the counter. He gets his math book out and I walk him through a few problems before having him solve the next few on his own. While he does that I get started on my own homework, and when he finishes I check his work.

"You got every single problem right Fitz," I smile.

"I did? Maybe you should teach class I can never understand anything Mr. Armstrong says and I feel so stupid in class."

"You're not dumb Fitz you just needed it explained differently. Now do the rest of the problems and if you get stuck don't be afraid to ask," I tell him. Fitz grins and gets back to work. While he's working out the problems I manage to finish my homework. When he finishes the math homework I check his work. "You only got two wrong," I smile but he looks disappointed. "Fitz you only missed two you did great don't feel bad, you're understanding it now I can see it in your work."

I show him what he missed on the two he got wrong and write it out so he understands it. I can see in his face how it's starting to make sense and it makes me grin.

"Thanks Clare I'd be struggling in the class if not for your help and feel like a complete moron," he says putting away his book.

"Fitz I already told you that you're not a moron," I scold him.

"I know but sometimes I feel like one, like cyber stalking you last year. I meant it you know. You are what got me through juvie and I'm sorry I came on too strongly when I got out. I was overly eager to make amends and to get you away from Eli because I knew he was dangerous."

"It's okay, your heart was in the right place and you weren't wrong about Eli but I don't think I was ready to hear it. I think we all needed some time. Are you still living at home? Has it gotten it any better?"

"Still living at home because I don't have a lot of choice, or at least I didn't. I can't really get an apartment of my own but now that I'm back in school, as long as I stay and do well, the government will help if I move out on my own. If I'm not living at home I can either live in a really bad apartment in a really bad part of town or a halfway house. I try to just not go home until my stepdad is asleep and Steve is out or passed out. Sometimes I just sleep up here."

"You sleep in the club?"

"Yeah I keep some stuff here and it's better than sleeping at home most of the time. Spin knows and he's cool with it. I mostly just try to avoid home but if I do good in school and keep my grades up I can get a place of my own. And I'm going to finish school, I want to do better than my stepdad, Steve and my mom. I want to make something of myself."

"That's great I'm really proud of you Fitz," I grin.

"Thanks but can you do me one favor?"

"What's that?" I question fearing that he's going to ask me to be careful around Eli the way Eli asked me to be careful around Fitz.

"Call me Mark," he replies and I grin.

"I thought you hated being called by your first name?"

"I did but Fitz is the hot-headed bully and that's not who I am anymore. I'm growing up Mark is more appropriate," he says and my smile grows bigger.

"I agree and I always liked Mark better anyway. So Mark can you give me a ride home?"

"I would love to," he smiles.

We go down to his car and he drives me home. I thank him for the ride before getting out of the car and wave to him before he drives off. I had a good time with Eli and with Mark today and my dreams are full of the conflict of liking them both. I don't sleep very well at all but at least my co-op distracts me, more fact-checking but Asher does let me sit in on the meeting today. I work through lunch but I told Miss Oh I'd be late to class and Eli meets me and buys me lunch from the caf and then walks me to class. After school I tutor Mark and again I enjoy my time with both Eli and Mark. And again my dreams that night are full of the conflict of liking them both. Thursday is exactly the same, co-op distracts me and I eat with Eli then tutor Mark after school at Above the Dot. I enjoy my time with them both and I like them both and my dreams that night are filled with Eli and Mark and the fact that I like them both.

"You look tired," Alli comments when I get to my locker.

"Because I've barely slept in three nights. You know I've been spending a lot of time with Mark and Eli?"

"Yeah," Jenna nods.

"I like them both, a lot and I don't know what to do. I don't know who to choose or if I should choose," I sigh leaning against my locker.

"What you need is a distraction date," Alli comments.

"A distraction date?" I question.

"Yeah a date with another guy that you have no interest in. If you go on the date and find that you like this guy too then your feelings for Eli and Fitz are not as strong as you thought, and maybe you don't really want either one. If you go on the date with another guy and you spend the whole date thinking about Fitz or thinking about Eli then that means they're the one you want to be with," Alli says.

"Good idea I think it's exactly what you need," Jenna grins.

"I like the idea but who on earth can I go out with? I can't go with Eli or Mark that would defeat the purpose. Going with K.C., Connor or Wes would just be awkward and I can't just walk up to some random guy and ask him out, especially on a date where I'm basically just using him."

"Well how about Dallas?" Jenna asks.

"Yes perfect," Alli grins. Then they both take my arms and pull me over to Dallas who's talking to Luke. "Dallas you know Clare, she would like you to take her to dinner tonight. Pick her up from my place at seven, Drew and Adam can tell you where it is," Alli informs Dallas.

"Seven, I'll be there," he grins. Alli and Jenna smile and pull me away again.

"I'm going to kill you two," I comment as we walk away.

"This is exactly what you need. You'll got out with Dallas, the worst that happens is a bad date and you never go out with him again. And by the end of the date you should know if you really like them both, only really like one or don't' really have feelings for either one," Alli replies.

"Yeah I know. I have to get to co-op I'll see you guys after school," I say to my friends before leaving for co-op.

I don't see Asher at all today he's away for the weekend to cover a political rally in Oshawa. I spend the time fact-checking and return to school in time for lunch. I eat with Eli but don't mention the date with Dallas tonight. Eli walks me to class and Mark smiles at me when I sit down. After class Mark and I walk to fourth period together.

"So when did you start liking Dallas?" Adam queries as he sits at his desk.

"I don't. Alli and Jenna suggested the date, it's a distraction so I can figure out my true feelings. Please don't be mad, it wasn't my idea but I think it might help and I didn't mean to use Dallas," I whisper back to Adam.

"I'm not mad, I think it's a good idea. Dallas is new he could use a date with a nice girl instead of one of the puck bunnies that throw themselves at him. Just let him down gently and don't let him go too far," Adam grins.

I smile back and the teacher begins class. I don't have newspaper this evening and Mark is working tonight so we do his tutoring right after school. He heard Adam ask me about Dallas and asks about it, I tell him I'm just showing Dallas around. After tutoring Mark takes me to Alli's house and drops me off. Alli and Jenna pick out my clothes and do my makeup for the date and Dallas picks me up right on time.

"Good you're on time, you can bring her back here after the date so we can hear all about it," Alli tells Dallas when she opens the door.

"Sure," Dallas nods and then looks at me, "ready to go?"

"Yes," I nod and we walk to a car that I know doesn't belong to the Torres family. "Who's car is this?"

"Owen's he's letting me borrow it for the date," Dallas replies opening the door for me.

I smile and get in the car and he drives us to a restaurant downtown. The hostess seats us and we begin looking at the menu. Over dinner Dallas does most of the talking, mostly about hockey. I listen politely and tell him I know nothing of sports and don't really like them. Dallas patiently explains all about hockey and I do listen but I find myself thinking about Eli and Mark while Dallas talks.

"You want to walk a bit?" Dallas asks as he pays the bill.

"Yeah that sounds nice," I grin. We stand and Dallas offers me his arm. I link my arm with his and we begin walking.

"So were you thinking about Eli or Fitz?" Dallas asks and I look at him with guilt in my eyes and biting my lip.

"Both. How'd you know? Did Adam tell you?"

"No I figured it out, I've seen you with both of them and I've seen the way they both look at you. It wasn't hard to figure out and I'm not an idiot but I wasn't going to turn down a date with a cute girl. Especially to help her out with a dilemma of the heart."

"You're a good guy Dallas."

"Thanks I try to be, I want to be a good role model for my son," he says and I gasp.

"You have a son?"

"How about some dessert?" Dallas asks as I come to little bakery and café.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Let's order dessert and I'll tell you anything you want to know," he insists. We both order coffee, he gets a cookie and I get chocolate cake. We sit down and he gets out his phone. "This is Rock, we call him Rocky," Dallas says showing me a picture he has on his phone of a little boy.

"He's adorable and he looks a lot like you. Wait does this mean you have a girlfriend back home? She's not going to be mad that we went out is she?"

"No Vanessa and I broke up long before Rocky was born," Dallas says changing the picture. I smile at the picture but it suddenly gets blurry and I rub my eyes. "Are you alright?" Dallas questions setting his phone down and putting a hand on my arm.

"Yeah I'm okay," I reply with what I hope is a reassuring smile.

"Only Audra and Omar know about Rocky I haven't told the team. It's not the best image when the captain of the team is a teen dad."

"I won't tell anyone," I assure him and he smiles. We finish dessert and he drives me back to Alli's. "Thanks I had a nice time," I tell him when parks out front of the Bhandari's house.

"Can I offer some advice?" Dallas asks and I nod. "You should tell Eli and Fitz that you like them both but you need time to figure out what you really want. That even though you like them both what you really want might not be one of them, but you would like to spend time alone with them both, without them fighting, while you figure it out," Dallas says and I kiss his cheek. "What was that for?" He asks.

"For being a good guy, taking me on a nice date, sharing your secret with me and giving me some very good advice."

"I'm glad you had a good time. So what will you tell your very pushy friends about the date?"

"That I had a very nice time with a really great and smart guy but there was no chemistry. And I'm still not sure what I want because I was thinking about Eli and Mark, but I made a good friend?" I question the last part because I'm not sure Dallas feels the same way.

"Definitely made a good friend," he grins and I smile back. "Tell Eli and Fitz…sorry Mark that if they give you any trouble while you're figuring things out they'll have to deal with the Ice Hounds," Dallas says and I giggle.

"Thanks Dallas, tonight was exactly what I needed. I'll see you Monday."

 **The update next Sunday will pick up from Monday at school probably and include more Clallas friendship.**


	3. Fault Lines Running Under My Life

**Sorry so many chapters were missed last week but I am feeling better. Please note that this week I have family visiting. I will not skip any chapters but they might be short, especially next Saturday and Sunday.**

 **Ch. 3 Fault Lines Running Under My Life**

 **(CLARE)**

"Clare, Clare wake up," Jake calls to me brushing the hair from my face.

"Ugh what happened?" I ask groggily as the world is still fuzzy.

"I'm not sure I came home and found you on the washroom floor. I think you passed out, you must have hit your nose on the way down it's bleeding," Jake informs me handing me a tissue.

"Thanks," I say holding the tissue to my nose and trying to sit up.

"Take it easy we don't know what else you hit on the way down. Does your head hurt? Does anything hurt?" Jake asks pushing me to lie down again.

"My nose is throbbing, my back hurts a little," I reply.

"Hurts where?"

"Here," I respond rolling on my side slightly and pointing to my lower back.

"How bad?"

"I probably landed on my butt that's all I don't think I'm going to get paralyzed from falling," I reply in a sardonic tone to my stepbrother.

"Yeah well I'm not taking any chances, if something starts to hurt you need to tell me. Get up slowly," Jake commands taking my arm and helping me up. I gradually move up to a standing position, and then he helps me to my room and onto the bed. "How do you feel? Is your nose still bleeding?"

"No I think it stopped and I'm okay."

"Yeah well lie down for a while anyway. I'll get you some water just stay in bed," Jake instructs. I roll my eyes but stay in bed and Jake brings me some water and then stays in my room starting at me for several minutes.

"Will you stop staring at me like I'm about to explode?" I scold him.

"I found you unconscious on the washroom floor why did you pass out?"

"I don't know Jake I must have gotten dizzy or something. Maybe I was washing my face and moved my head too quickly," I reply.

"You don't remember what you were doing before you passed out?"

"No, not at all. I remember going into the washroom and then you were waking me up," I tell him and Jake twists his mouth with concern.

"I think I should take you to the hospital."

"Jake I'm fine, there's a lot of reasons I could have passed out."

"Like what? Wait you're not pregnant are you?"

"Jake! No I'm not pregnant and I'm still a virgin not that it's any of your business."

"Fine if you're not pregnant then why'd you pass out?"

"I told you I got dizzy. I'm okay just promise you won't tell my mom."

"Fine if you promise to rest in bed."

"I'm resting but you don't need to be here. If I feel dizzy or anything I'll text you I promise."

Jake sighs and leaves my room somewhat reluctantly. I spend a couple of hours in bed reading but then I get a phone call from Asher.

"Can you come in?" He asks after I say hello. "I could use the research help on an article and it will be good experience for you," Asher says.

"Yeah I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Great," he grins and hangs up.

"Jake I'm taking the truck," I call as I stand up and get my shoes on.

"What do you mean you're taking the truck? Where do you think you're going?"

"To co-op, Asher asked me to come in he says he has research he wants me to help him with."

"You feel like you can go to co-op?"

"I haven't felt dizzy or anything, I'm fine."

"Okay but I'm driving you," Jake asserts.

I don't feel like arguing so I give in. I grab my purse, put on my coat and we go down to the truck. Jake drives me to The Interpreter and tells me to call him when I'm ready to go home. I go upstairs and knock on Asher's door.

"Oh good you're here, I e-mailed you a list of what I need," Asher tells me. I nod and sit at my desk looking at the e-mail. I begin the research e-mailing what I find to Asher. "Come on Newsie I need you with me," Asher says so I get up from my desk and follow him. We go down a couple floors to the archives and he has me look through the archives for certain articles. "Bring them to my office when you're done Newsie," Asher says putting a hand on my shoulder.

He leaves the archives and I look around with a sense of wonderment. Every issue of The Interpreter going back to its inception is in this room and I wish I could read them all. It takes me a while but I find the articles and take them to Asher.

"I found them all, sorry it took so long I could have stayed in the archive for days looking at all the articles."

"Yeah it's pretty amazing down there. I know we keep you pretty busy but if you want to come back on your free time I'll let you into the archive to look around," Asher tells me.

"I would love that," I grin, "I'll finish the research now."

Asher nods and I go back to my desk, it takes me another couple of hours to finish the research and send it to Asher. I start to pack up and get out my phone to call Jake to pick me up when Asher comes out of his office again.

"I've kept you a long time Newsie let me get you some dinner and take you home," he offers.

"I can have my stepbrother come get me, he dropped me off and I don't want you to go out of your way while you're working."

"Nonsense I am about to break for dinner anyway and I'd love for you to join me. As your mentor I insist you join me, it will be a working dinner if it makes you feel better. Come on I'll take you home afterward," Asher says with an insistent tone.

I put my coat on and grab my purse following Asher down to his car. He drives us to a little Asian place and orders for both of us. He asks me questions over dinner, mostly about my family and my interest in journalism. I admit that I probably ask him twice as many questions as he asks me. After dinner I tell Asher how to get to my house and he drops me off.

"You did great today Newsie, I can tell that you have a real passion for this just like me. If you can come a little earlier tomorrow you can sit in on our meeting," Asher says and I grin.

"I will be there just tell me when," I smile.

"Good then I'll see you at eight," Asher replies and I grin even wider.

I get out of the car smiling elatedly and swelling with pride, I've only been working with Asher for a week and he's already asking me to come in on the weekends to help and taking me to dinner for a job well done. Tomorrow I get to sit in on the meeting which I'm thrilled about.

"Why didn't you call me to pick you up?" Jake questions.

"Asher gave me a ride home," I reply.

"That was nice of him, did you eat Sweetie?" Mom questions.

"Yeah I did. Asher wants me to come at eight tomorrow so I can sit in on the meeting which is a huge deal. Can one of you drop me off? Jake will need the truck to get to school."

"I can take you on the way to the job site," Glen says.

"Thanks Glen," I grin going up to my room and Jake follows me.

"How do you feel?" Jake asks but he does keep his voice down.

"Jake I'm fine will you stop worrying," I scold him.

"No dammit I found you on the washroom floor and who knows how long you'd been unconscious and we don't know what you hit on the way down. We might not be dating anymore but I still care about you Clare so no I won't stop worrying until I know there's nothing to worry about," Jake replies.

"I know you still care and I still care about you and I love that you're looking out for me. Honestly though I've felt great all afternoon and evening. I promise if I feel dizzy again or anything I will tell you," I assure my stepbrother kissing his cheek.

Jake relaxes a little and goes into his room, I stay up for a long time on my laptop but do remember to e-mail Miss Oh that I am going early to co-op and won't be at school until after lunch. I do eventually fall asleep but when my alarm goes off I hop right up. I shower and get dressed, eat a quick breakfast and I'm waiting for Glen when he's finally ready to go. Glen drops me off and I thank him for the ride before I practically run inside.

"You're early that's good," Asher grins.

"I couldn't wait to get here," I answer with a smile.

"Would you like some coffee? It's not as good as the coffee shop down the street but it will get you through the meeting," Asher comments putting a hand on my back to direct me to the break room.

We get some coffee and then go into the conference room, I talk a few minutes with Asher before everyone else begins coming in. I listen to the meeting and I'm so excited I try to pitch a story.

"Walk before you can run Newsie," Asher censures me lightly when the meeting is over.

"I'm sorry it was just so thrilling and it's a good story. Isn't it? Food banks are running low and there's a real problem with poverty and hunger in this country."

"It is a good story, for page twenty-two under human interest stories it's not a page one story. You are right though it's something that needs to be written. I'll tell you what get a couple more weeks of experience in this job, soak in the environment and my wisdom and then we'll write your story together. I'll get permission from Hilary for us to do a center focus piece for the weekend edition," Asher tells me and I have to stop myself from squealing and jumping up and down in the office.

"I could kiss you right now this is my dream come true, working on my school paper is nothing like this. I'm going to get to work," I smile trying to control my excitement as I walk back to my desk. I want to scream excitedly right now but I don't want to disturb the whole office. I work until I have to leave, without the truck I'll have to take the bus back to school. I leave my desk and walk back to Asher's office. "I got dropped off which means I need to take the bus back to school so I need to go, but I'll be back tomorrow morning. And thanks for letting me sit in on the meeting it was incredible to feel like a part of the action even for an hour."

"I'm about to take a lunch break I can drop you off, don't want you to be late to school," Asher offers.

"Thanks," I smile. Asher gets his jacket and I go down with him to his car and he drives me to school. "Thanks again for the ride and letting me sit in on the meeting," I say to Asher before getting out of the car.

"No problem I'll see you tomorrow Newsie," he replies.

I grab my backpack and get out of the car, waving to Asher before he drives away. With the cold weather not many people are in the courtyard but a few of the Ice Hounds are out here including Dallas, Owen and Luke.

"Who's that?" Dallas asks.

"Asher my co-op boss, Glen dropped me off this morning so Asher gave me a ride so that I didn't have to take the bus back. I'm gonna grab some lunch," I tell them walking inside. I put my backpack in my locker and walk to the caf to get some lunch. When I have some food I start walking and looking for a table to sit at.

"Clare over here," Eli calls waving to me sit with him and Adam.

"Clare over here," Mark calls waving for me to sit with him, Drew and Bianca. I bite my lip and look between the two tables, choosing one basically means favoring one boy over the other. Granted one table also has my best friend but it still means sitting at the table with Eli over Mark.

"Adam why don't you and Eli move over here and we'll all sit together," Bianca suggests and I give her a grateful smile. I sit down next to Mark and Eli sits on the side of me, Adam sits next to Eli and I begin eating.

"So are you two officially back together?" I ask Drew and Bianca.

"Yeah as of this weekend, Katie is out and I'm back with my soulmate," Drew grins at Bianca and they share a kiss.

"How was co-op?" Eli asks.

"Incredible, I got to sit in on the morning meeting and Asher said with a couple more weeks of experience he'll help me write a feature article for the weekend edition," I tell them excitedly. The squeal I kept inside this morning comes out in my tone.

"Awesome that will be huge for you to get your name in a byline," Eli smirks.

"Yeah that's great Clare," Mark grins.

"Thanks," I smile at them both.

"Are we meeting after school for tutoring?" Mark questions.

"Yeah are you working later?" I ask him.

"No I'm off tonight," he replies.

"We can go back to my place then," I tell him and he grins again a little wider this time.

"We should go out again this weekend," Eli says.

"Why don't I take you to dinner after tutoring tonight," Fitz suggests.

"Sure that sounds nice, uh both of those," I nod.

"You guys shut up and let her eat," Bianca scolds them and I give her another grateful smile.

Thankfully Drew does most of the talking for the rest of the time I'm eating. They all finish eating but stay with me until I'm done and we walk out together.

"Can I carry your books to media studies?" Mark offers.

"I'll walk you to class," Eli says as they both surround me as soon as we're in the hallway.

"Hey let the girl breathe," Dallas reprimands them coming over and pulling me from between the two.

"Maybe you should walk her to class Dallas I think they might smother her," Adam comments.

"Gladly," Dallas says offering me his arm and I smile, linking my arm with his. "You haven't talked to them yet have you?" Dallas asks in a whisper and I shake my head.

"I haven't seen them since our date," I reply also in a whisper.

"You two," Dallas says as he stops walking and turns around to face Eli and Mark, "Clare likes you both but she needs some time so back off. She wants to spend time with each of you while she decides what her heart wants. And you two, if you really want to be with her you will give her that time to decide without pressuring her. If you two make things hard on her you will answer to me and the rest of the Ice Hounds understood?"

"Understood," Mark nods.

"You're not trying to date her too are you?" Eli asks.

"No I'm not competition just a friend looking out for my favorite distraction," Dallas says and I grin. He walks me to media studies and I kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, you really are a great guy and I'm very grateful to have you as a friend."

"If they or anyone else gives you any trouble you tell me, Dallas asserts.

"I will," I grin. Dallas smiles back and looks at Mark who is standing behind him still while everyone else already departed for their own classes.

"I have this class with her," Mark explains and Dallas grins again before walking off. "Looks like you made yourself a personal body guard from that date," Mark comments as we walk into class.

"I made myself a very good friend," I smile as we sit down.

 **(MARK)**

"Walk you to class? Since we do have next period together," I remark to Clare as we leave third period for fourth period. Clare smiles just a bit but links her arm with mine and we walk to class.

Adam greets us when we enter the classroom, she sits at her desk next to Adam and I sit in the back row. I spend all of fourth period thinking about where to take Clare for dinner tonight. When the bell rings we leave class and Clare comes with me to my locker to get my books. She tells Jake I'm taking her home and coming over to be tutored and then we take my car to her house. Jake gets something to eat before going up to his room to do homework while Clare and I sit at the dining room table. She helps me with math and then geography and finishes her homework in the meantime. I'm nearly done with my geography homework when her mom comes home.

"Mom this is Mark, I'm tutoring him in math," Clare introduces us.

"It's nice to meet you Mark, are you staying for dinner?"

"Actually Ma'am I'm taking Clare to dinner tonight to thank her for her help it's made a huge difference already," I reply.

"Well that's very sweet of you," Clare's mom smiles.

"I just have a few problems left I can do on my own and then we'll go," I tell Clare.

"Sounds good I think I'll go change into something a little nicer," Clare smiles.

I sit down and finish the last of my geography homework, just as I'm putting my books away Clare comes back down the stairs. She's changed into black jeans and red sweater that brings out the pink in her cheeks and the red of her lips, her fair skin looks even fairer and she looks almost unbelievably beautiful. I smile and get up grabbing her coat from the hook by the door and helping her into it. I see Clare's Mom smile when she sees this, Clare's smiling too. I grab my backpack and we say goodbye to her mom and get in my car. I drive us to a romantic restaurant a few blocks away and open the door for Clare. We get seated and look at the menu.

"So do you really like us both?" I ask Clare after we order.

"Yes I do, both of you equally and I do want to spend time alone with both of you."

"Does that mean more time with me away from tutoring?" I ask her.

"Yes it does," she grins.

"Owen's first game is next week would you like to go with me?"

"I would love to," she smiles and it makes me smile.

"So you're really enjoying your co-op?"

For nearly all of dinner she talks about her co-op, how much she admires Asher and how she wants to be a journalist. I love watching her talk, watching her smile and her eyes light up with such passion when she talks about her co-op and journalism.

"I'm sorry I did all the talking over dinner," she apologizes as I pay.

"Don't apologize I love listening to you talk," I reply and she grins. "If you don't have to be back right away you want to get some dessert?"

"Dessert sounds nice but I'm pretty full can we walk a little first?"

"Are you sure you won't be too cold?"

"No I'll be fine, I'm actually kind of hot and we won't go far," she replies.

We put on our coats and leave the restaurant walking down the snow covered sidewalk. She links her arm with mine and we walk at a fairly brisk pace. I'm enjoying the clear crisp night with Clare on my arm. Even when we hit a patch of ice on the sidewalk and both slip. Clare falls into my arms and we're both laughing, her eyes glinting with the moonlight and city lights, she looks so gorgeous and happy and I'm tempted to kiss her. I'm tempted to kiss her but I don't want to push so I just smile at her. We sit there a moment and then I help her up, we stand and then she suddenly gasps gripping onto me.

"Are you okay?" I question looking at her concerned.

"Yeah I think so, just got a shooting pain in my back down my leg. I think I pinched a nerve or something," she says.

I pick her up and she puts her arms around my neck, "Let's get you back to the car."

Clare smiles putting her head on my shoulder and I carry her back to my car. By the time I've driven us to The Dot for dessert she's feeling better and says the pain is gone. I still have her sit down while I order us some dessert from Spinner. We eat dessert mostly in silence but I love every minute with her.

"Tonight was wonderful," she grins giving me a tender goodnight kiss at her door when I take her home.

"So did I, I'll see you tomorrow," I smile.

She unlocks her door going inside and I get in my car to drive home. I smile all the way home but it fades when I get there and see Steve and some of his friends in the front yard when I get home.

"Hey Fitzy where you been?" Steve laughs while I'm getting my backpack from the car. I ignore him and lock up my car. "I'll bet you were at the church praying, isn't that right preachy? You know you're no fun no more since you found God. You should party with us," Steve says grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

"Get off of me," I growl pushing him away.

"Party with us Fitzy," Steve says yanking me by the jacket. I try to pull away but one of his friends who is also high decides this would be a good time to tackle me and I hit the ground. "Give him…give him a hit," Steve laughs while I try to struggle. They might be high but there are six of them, two of them hold my arms and one sits on my stomach while two sit on my legs. Steve takes the crack spoon, puts some in and heats it with the lighter. "Here Fitzy just slurp it right off the spoon," Steve laughs holding the spoon up to me.

"Get away from you fucking burn out," I snarl at him.

"Eat the crack Fitzy," Steve laughs as he heats the spoon again and then puts the scalding spoon to my mouth.

I scream and get a surge of adrenaline, I struggle and manage to get them off of me. I grab my backpack and get back in my car peeling out of the driveway. I don't go to the hospital just drive to Owen's and knock on the door.

"Shit what happened? Let me guess your shit for brains stepbrother," Owen says letting me in.

"Yeah," I nod.

"MOM," Owen yells into the house, "Fitz is hurt bad."

"It's Mark now remember? Fitz was the bully that's not me anymore," I remind Owen.

"Sorry but I've been calling you Fitz for years it's going to take me a while to call you Mark," Owen says just as his mom comes downstairs.

"Oh my goodness, Mark Honey what happened to your face?" Alice, Owen's mom, asks as she grabs some ice and a clean towel handing it to me. Alice is an ER doctor so she'll know what to do.

"His stepbrother," Owen tells her.

"He was trying to feed me crack," I tell her.

"Dristan," Owen's mom calls for his father. Owen's brother Tristan is named after their father. "I'm taking Mark to the hospital," she tells her husband.

"Damn, they really got you. I'll get the spare bed into Owen's room," Owen's dad says.

"I'm going with you," Owen says.

"We'll need to get the cops involved," Owen's mom tells me and I nod.

"Yeah I know I can't hide from it anymore," I reply as I leave with Owen and his mom to go to the hospital.

 **The update next Sunday will probably pick up from the following morning in Clare's pov.**


	4. First of Mistakes

**I'm sure you all know by now that I had family visiting this weekend and staying through Wednesday. Which means chapters will be short but they will not be skipped. Tonight is really on the short side but I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Ch. 4 First of Mistakes**

 **(CLARE)**

"You okay? You look tired," Jake comments as he drives us to school Tuesday morning.

"I am tired, I slept well last night but maybe I overslept or didn't sleep very deeply. I don't remember dreaming last night," I reply.

"You know it wouldn't kill you call in sick for a day and take the day off," Jake remarks.

"Not happening. I'm fine and I'm sure I'll perk up once I'm at co-op, the energy of that place is infectious."

"Okay take the truck and come back for lunch you need to eat especially since you didn't eat breakfast," Jake says and I roll my eyes. "I'm serious Clare if you're not back by lunch I will borrow a car and come get you and talk to your boss about making sure you eat."

"I'll be back by lunch," I assure him.

Jake parks at the school and we walk in together but he leaves me to go to his locker. I begin walking to mine but stop when I see Mark with Owen. It's not that Mark's with Owen it's that Mark has a bandage on his face and a part of his face looks burnt. I run to him, putting my hand on his arm and one behind his neck to closely examine his face.

"Mark what happened?"

"His asshole of a stepbrother burnt him with a crack spoon and crack. We've been at the hospital all night," Owen answers for him.

"I'm okay," Mark tries to assure me taking my hand from behind his neck and kissing my palm. But as his lips are half burnt kissing my palm is painful and he hisses.

"Is he really okay?" I ask Owen.

"He got some nasty burns, a bit of crack go in them, but he'll be alright after a couple weeks to heal. His stepbrother has been arrested and he's moving in with us," Owen tells me.

"Good," I smile with relief, "I have to get to co-op but I'll see you this afternoon for tutoring, if you're up for it."

"Yeah I'm sure I will be, I'm off for the next couple of days because of the burns but we can study at Owen's," Mark says and Owen nods.

I smile and wave to them before going to my locker to put my books away. Then I go out to the truck and drive to co-op. There's a stack of fact-checking on my desk and Asher is not in his office. I start on the fact-checking going through it accurately but quickly although my mind does keep drifting back to Mark. I finish my fact-checking in time to get back for lunch and I e-mail everything to Asher before I grab my purse and go to the elevator to get back to school. When the elevator doors open Asher steps out.

"Headed out Newsie?"

"I have to get back to school, promised my brother I'd eat lunch since I skipped breakfast."

"You shouldn't skip breakfast Newsie it's the most important meal of the day. Can you come back this afternoon Newsie I'm going to cover a rally at York and I could use your help," Asher says.

"Yes I think so I'll have to make sure that I can take my brother's truck or get a ride but I'll be here," I smile.

"Great," Asher says pressing the elevator button again so it calls the elevator.

It's not until I'm in the elevator that I remember I'm supposed to tutor Mark after school. I get to school a few minutes after the lunch bell and I go to find Mark. I find him with Owen, Drew and Bianca.

"Hey can we do your tutoring now I have to be back at co-op after school," I tell him.

"Yeah sure, I'll get my books and meet you in the memorial garden?"

"Great I'll be there in a few minutes," I smile and dash off for my locker but I see Jake first. "Jake can I take the truck after school or can you drop me off I need to go back to co-op," I explain.

"You can take the truck but did you eat?"

"I'll grab something…"

"You'll eat now," Jake commands cutting me off.

"I promise I'll eat now," I assure him.

I run to the caf and grab a granola bar before running back to the memorial garden to meet Mark. When I get in there Mark gives me a look for having only a granola bar.

"If that's your only lunch we're doing this at The Dot and I'll buy you a proper lunch," Mark comments.

"This is fine I promised Jake I'd eat," I reply.

"Okay we're going to The Dot," Mark says helping me up. "I really appreciate you helping me but tutoring me is not more important than you eating lunch," Mark insists putting his arm around me and we walk out to go to The Dot.

We pass Eli as we walk and he doesn't look happy that I'm walking with Mark's arm around me. I wonder if I need to have Dallas talk to him again. When he sees me looking at him he smiles. We walk into The Dot, Spinner is working and Mark orders me a full lunch, he gets a drink and we sit at a table and I begin tutoring him. We only have about half an hour before we have to get back to school.

"I'm sorry we didn't have very long. If you give me Owen's address I can come over after co-op if it's not too late."

"Yeah that would be great I'll text you Owen's address after class," Mark tells me as we walk into media studies and I smile.

After media studies Mark and I walk to last period together and he gives me Owen's address. Adam walks into class and sits at his desk next to mine, he looks back at Mark smiling politely and then Adam looks back at me.

"Eli was briefly worried that you and Fitz are dating, I told him you would have told him. I still he might be planning some grand gesture."

"Oh boy," I reply rolling my eyes.

"I'll try to talk him out of anything too grand," Adam says.

"Thanks Adam," I smile.

When fourth period is over I tell Mark I'll see him later and run out to the truck driving back to The Interpreter. I park and go in, as soon as Asher sees me he waves me into his office.

"Good you're here, we'll be leaving in a few minutes you can ride with me," Asher comments.

"Okay should I wait at my desk or…"

"No we'll be leaving in a second, just stay in here," Asher replies. I shrug and sit sown in the chair by his desk. After a couple moments Asher gets up from his desk and waves for me to follow him. I follow him down to his car and get in. He asks me about school while he drives us to York. "Stay close with me Newsie there will be a lot of action," Asher insists putting his hand on my back.

"I won't leave your side," I reply.

"Good," Asher grins. I stay by his side and watch him work with a sort of awe and wonderment at how good he is. I mostly take notes or pull people over for interviews. When someone bumps into me and I almost get moved away from Asher he grabs me with an arm around my waist. "Gotta keep you close Newsie," Asher grins. We stay at the rally for three hours but when it starts to break into a riot Asher takes my hand and pulls me out of the crowd.

"Shouldn't we stay and cover the riot?" I question.

"Too dangerous Newsie, I can't risk putting you in danger or having you hurt just to get a story," Asher remarks. We get back in his car and he drives us back to the offices.

"If that's everything I still have homework and I'm tutoring another student."

"Yeah that's all I'll see you in the morning, you were a good assistant today thanks for the extra hours," Asher says.

"Anytime," I smile before leaving the office. I get in the truck and drive to Owen's, he lives about half a block from Adam so it's easy to find. After knocking on the front door Owen answers and lets me inside.

"Hey Clare," Owen says locking the door again.

"Hi Clare, we can work in my room," Mark tells me getting up from the sofa. I follow him back to what appears to be an office but there is a bed in here. "They'll be turning it into my room but I've only been here a night," Mark explains.

"I'm just glad you're safe. You want to start on math? We didn't finish at lunch," I comment.

"Yeah I couldn't figure out the other problems," Mark replies.

I look at his problems and break them down so they're easier for Mark to solve. He starts working on them and I look at my media studies homework but I guess I'm worn out because I fall asleep looking at the book.

 **The update next Sunday will pick up from about here in Mark's pov.**


	5. To Kiss Your Lips

**Hopefully you've all seen the great big announcement where the calendars normally would be if you have not I advise that you read it please as it is an important announcement.**

 **Thank you everyone and enjoy this very long chapter.**

 **Ch. 5 To Kiss Your Lips**

 **(MARK)**

"Okay I finished…" I'm saying when I look over at Clare she's fallen asleep on my bed with her book propped on her legs. I carefully take her book and set it on the desk, cover her with a blanket, turn out the light and quietly leave my room. She took off her shoes before getting on the bed, and while I don't think she'll be very comfortable sleeping in jeans I'm not about to attempt to undress her even to make her more comfortable. "Clare fell asleep on my bed; any idea what Jake's number is or her parents?"

"Not a clue but we can all Drew and get it from Adam or get Jake's number from Mo," Owen comments.

"Let's call Mo I don't want Adam to get the wrong idea when he hears she fell asleep in my bed."

Owen laughs a little but he sends a text to Mo asking for Jake's number and Mo sends it. I put Jake's number into my phone and press send.

"Hello?" Jake answers cautiously because he doesn't recognize my number.

"It's Mark, Clare was over here to tutor me and she fell asleep on my bed. I didn't want to wake here but she's safe here I'll sleep in Owen's room. Do you want your truck back? She can come with us to school tomorrow."

"Yeah thanks," Jake says.

"I'll come pick you up and you can get your truck," I tell him and hang up.

"Guess it's a good thing we didn't take the spare bed out of my room," Owen remarks.

"Yeah good thing we're lazy," I reply and Owen laughs. "I'll be back in a moment I'm just going to go get Jake so he can get his truck."

Owen nods and I leave driving to Clare's house. When I pull up Jake comes out and gets in the car putting a bag in the back.

"Thanks for picking me up you didn't have to go out of your way to do that," Jake says.

"It's no problem and it was barely out of my way."

"The bag is some stuff for Clare. I told her mom she fell asleep tutoring you and after assuring her that you were sleeping in a separate room Helen packed some clothes and stuff for Clare."

"Good thinking," I smile. We're silent for the rest of the drive but it's only a couple of minutes.

"Thanks Fitz…I mean Mark, keep an eye on her I think she's been overworking herself."

"I'll take care of her," I assure him and Jake smiles.

He gets in his truck to go home and I go back inside. I left my books in the room but I was pretty much done with homework. I take a shower and watch TV with Owen in his room before we go to sleep. We wake up to our alarms and Owen goes to the washroom so I go to my room to check on Clare. I go in and she's still asleep, I put my hand on her arm and brush some hair from her face and her eyes open.

"Mmm what time is it? I didn't mean to fall asleep," Clare says with a yawn as she sits up and rubs her eyes.

"It's morning I didn't want to wake you up. Jake brought you some clothes when he came to get his truck," I tell her helping her out of bed.

"When did he come get the truck?"

"I picked him up last night and he brought the bag, he said your mom packed it."

"Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep here and take your bed," she apologizes again.

"It's fine I slept in Owen's room," I reply and she smiles.

I grab some clean clothes and go to the washroom to get dressed and ready. Clare and I are ready first and we get some breakfast. We leave at the same time as Owen and Tris but they go in Owen's car while Clare and I go in mine.

"How's your face this morning? It looks so painful," Clare says as we drive to school.

"It's okay, it's not too bad usually except the lips, they hurt almost every time I talk."

"Does that mean I can't kiss you?" She asks and I smile.

"I would go through a lot of pain to kiss your lips," I reply. From the corner of my eye I see her grin and bite the corner of her lip, her cheeks blushing just a little and it makes me smile.

We're silent for the rest of the drive to school, I park and we walk in I follow her to her locker. I lean on the locker next to hers and watch her put her books away. I watch her face, the way her lips curl up just a little when she notices me watching her. The way her crystalline blue eyes shine so clearly, I could spend hours just gazing into her eyes.

"Thanks for bringing me to school and letting me steal your bed last night. I need to find Jake so I can take the truck to co-op," she tells me as she closes her locker.

"You don't need to find Jake you can take my car," I tell her getting out my keys and handing them to her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I won't need it and you'll be back at lunch."

"Thanks Mark, I'll see you at lunch," Clare says and stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. I grin and watch her walk down the hall.

"Looks like things are going well with you and Clare," Owen comments from behind me and I turn to look at him.

"Yeah I think they are, of course she still likes Eli too but I'm not worried."

Owen smiles and we walk to our lockers, Bianca is at hers and Drew soon joins us. I tell them about Clare falling asleep at our place last night and that I leant her my car to get to co-op.

"Sounds like Eli's out of the running to me," Bianca grins.

"He's still in, he's planning to take her out on Sunday and spend every lunch this week with her. Adam says Eli has plans to win her heart again but for what it counts I'm on your side Fi…uh Mark, I think you're much better for Clare. But Eli's not your only competition," Drew tells me.

"It counts for a lot but what do you mean Eli's not my only competition? There's not another guy is there?"

"No not exactly but there's her co-op. According to Adam she's going out of her way to please her boss and is spending a lot of time there, even more than Adam spends at his co-op and he works for Eli's dad."

"She has been spending a lot of time at co-op but being a journalist is really important to her and Asher's supposed to be one of the best. Anyway I'm confident I can beat any competition, boy, work or anything else. Clare is very important to me, she got me through me juvie, I know what she likes and I know what she wants, and needs and I know not to smother her."

"Right which is why we think you're better for her," Owen says and I grin just as the bell rings.

I wave to them and walk to math class. I'm able to understand more of math class thanks to Clare's help. In second period I have forces of nature: physical process & disasters, Luke and Dave have both morning classes with me and we walk there together. After second period I stash my books and go outside, I plan to walk to The Dot and grab some lunch then wait on the picnic table for Clare so I can see how her co-op went. Owen and most of the Ice Hounds are gathering on the steps. I nod to them as I go down the stairs and then I freeze when I see my stepfather getting out of his car.

"YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL BASTARD I HAD TO SPEND GOOD MONEY TO BAIL MY BOY OUT OF JAIL BECAUSE OF YOU," he yells.

I stiffen up ready to fight, he's pissed and he actually came to the school. I'm not alone though Owen, Dallas and the other Ice Hounds quickly surround me, Drew and Bianca are here too.

"Fuck off, you want Mark you come through us," Owen growls.

"What's going on here?" Officer Turner asks coming out of the school.

"That's Mark's stepdad, he's trying to harm Mark and he shouldn't be on school property," Owen informs him.

"You'll have to leave school grounds," Officer Turner tells him.

"Fuck you I can do what I want with my kid," my stepdad replies.

"Sir I'm going to ask you again to leave school premises or I will have you arrested," Officer Turner says again.

"And I said fuck you!"

My stepdad never was the brightest, Officer Turner steps down and my stepdad takes a swing at him. Officer Turner tasers him and gets him on the ground calling for backpack.

"What's going on? What happened?" Clare inquires. I guess I didn't see her drive in with all the commotion.

"Mark's stepdad showed up and was an asshole like he always is," Bianca replies.

"Are you okay?" Clare asks.

"I'm fine he didn't even get close to me I got surrounded by everyone. Thanks guys," I smile at my friends and the better part of the Ice Hounds.

"I would have liked to have punched him but you're welcome," Owen smiles.

"I was just about to grab some lunch you want to come with me?" I ask her.

"I'd like that," she grins.

It's not quite a lunch date because Owen, Drew, Bianca, Dallas and Luke all come and eat with us but still it's time I get to spend with Clare. We're done eating but still hanging out at The Dot when the café phone rings and Spinner answers.

"Mark that was Simpson they need you back at the school to talk to the cops and Children's Aide," Spin tells me.

"I'll see you in class," I smile at Clare and wave to the others before returning to school.

I don't make it to third period because I'm talking with the cops and a social worker from Children's Aide. I do make it to fourth period and when she sees me Clare hugs me tightly which makes me smile and I hold her to me just as tightly and happy to have her in my arms.

"There you are, I was worried when you didn't show up to media studies," Clare says.

"I'm fine it was just a long interview that's all," I assure her before we sit down at our desks.

"Heard about your stepdad coming to the school I'm glad you're okay," Adam tells me.

"Thanks, it was pretty embarrassing but I filed a restraining order against him and Steve. I already pressed assault charges against Steve and my stepdad has been arrested for assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. I asked Officer Turner to send some officers over to check on my mom, I'm worried that they took their anger at me out on her. At least the next time I see Steve or my stepdad it should be in court."

"That's great news Mark, not great the way it happened but you won't have to deal with them anymore. And I don't think you should be embarrassed by your stepdad showing up, embarrassed for him maybe but not by him. It just shows all you've overcome and how far you have really come, it's impressive and I'm really proud of you," Clare says and I grin with more pride than I have in my whole life.

Her words stay with me all day, not only making me happy but filled with pride. It's a good feeling and reinforces how much I feel about her because not everyone could say something like that and make me feel like a new man.

 **(JAKE)**

"Hey Jake what are you doing?" Mo asks. It's Friday morning and I'm parked at the school but I'm sitting on the back bumper of my truck.

"Clare's sleeping but I don't want to wake her up until I have to."

"Why was she up late last night with one of her suitors?"

"No she fell asleep almost as soon as she got back from tutoring Mark. But she went back to her co-op after the DeGrassi Daily meeting, then tutoring Mark and doing her own homework. I think she's overworking herself and when she has any spare time she's either spending it at co-op at the request of her boss or spending it with Mark or Eli because she's determined to give them equal time. I'm pretty sure she's exhausted herself."

"Yeah speaking of the whole Mark/Eli duel for Clare's affections what side of things do you come down on? Do you think she should be with the reformed bad boy or the artsy Goth with supposedly controlled bipolar disorder?"

"Not really sure, she has a pretty sorted history with both of them. Eli seems pretty stable now that he's on medications, but his past obsessive behavior is a little worrisome. I don't know Mark very well but I've never spent time with him. I have seen how much he cares about Clare though, he seems…more gentle than Eli in a way and I know he's been through a lot and he's liked Clare for a long time. I don't care who she picks as long as she's not doing too much and overworking herself. Did I tell you that I found her passed out in the washroom last weekend? She didn't remember passing out and I was more worried about it than she was but she was unconscious and bleeding it was scary."

"Bleeding? Did she cut herself?"

"No I think she hit her nose it was bleeding but it was still scary," I sigh and then look at my watch to see the time. "I don't want to wake her up, the bell will probably do it anyway when it rings in ten minutes. Can I borrow your car?"

"Uh sure," Mo says handing me his keys.

"Thanks I'll be back soon, cover for me in first period," I request before walking to Mo's car getting in and driving down to The Interpreter office. I figure out what floor they're on and take the elevator up approaching the front desk. "I'd like to speak with Asher Shostak please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No but I need to talk to him."

She asks my name and I tell her. She calls Asher and I can see him looking at me from his office since all the walls are glass. He says something and she hangs up and tells me to go back.

"Do I know you? You look familiar," Asher comments shaking my hand.

"I'm Clare's brother."

"Yes of course, what can I do for you Jake?"

"I'm worried about Clare, she loves this job but she's spending a lot of time here, I mean extra time outside of co-op hours. On top of school, homework, being editor of the school newspaper, tutoring another student, and trying to give equal attention to two boys that like her. I'm afraid she's overworking herself and she's doing a lot of it to impress you. She'd do pretty much anything to impress you, including working herself to exhaustion. She's stubborn and insists she's fine but she's not, she's tired a lot, even fell asleep on the way to school this morning and it's about a three-minute drive."

"How very noble of you to come in on behalf of your sister, it's nice that you worry about her so much. I guess I have been asking a lot of her but she's an exceptional pupil. I didn't realize she had so much else on her plate, that would be a lot for anyone. Thank you for bringing this to my attention Jake, Clare's never said anything she's quite stoic isn't she?"

"Yeah she'd never admit that it was too much she thinks she can handle anything. She's a great writer but for all the writing she does she's not big on talking."

"Yes I have noticed that. Clare has expressed an interest in seeing the archives, I think I can send her down there for the day and write it up as work," Asher says and I smile.

"Thanks I…"

"Jake what are you doing here?" Clare questions coming into Asher's office.

"Your brother was concerned that you were overdoing it Clare and wanted to make sure I wasn't overworking you," Asher tells her and she glowers at me opening her mouth to censure me for what I did. Thankfully for me Asher speaks first. "Don't be angry at Jake he's looking out for you. You're quite lucky that you have a brother who cares so much. I wouldn't want to overwork you Clare you're the best intern I've had in years. And the best and most organized fact-checker I've ever had, an incredible assistant too. I want you to take it easy today so spend your time in the archives looking at anything you like and if anyone asks I sent you down there to do research. In fact, you can go down there now and ride the elevator down together."

"Thanks Asher," I smile shaking his hand again then Clare and I walk to the elevator.

"I still don't like that you went to Asher behind my back but I appreciate what you did. You're a good brother Jake," Clare smiles.

"Just take care of yourself, don't take on too much and maybe rest a little on the weekends. If you insist on spending time with Eli and Mark on the weekends you could just hang at the house or at their house."

"I'll try to take it easy," she replies as the elevator stops at the lobby.

"Good," I respond stepping out. I get back in Mo's car and return to school.

I'm more than half an hour late to homeroom so I decide to just not go. I have a spare second period which I spend with Katie because she also has a spare, but do give Mo his keys back. At lunch I find Eli and Mark to have a talk with them.

"Clare's been doing a lot lately. I know she won't give any of it up and I know she likes you both and is determined to give you both equal time. All I ask is you both make sure she's taking it easy during that time. I found her passed out in the washroom last week and I don't want to find her like that again."

"I can do easy," Eli nods.

"I'll make sure she takes it easy, we'll have a nice calm date tomorrow tonight," Mark tells me.

"Good. If you're both going to vie for her attention maybe spoil her a bit."

"I'll spoil her a lot," Eli smirks before walking off.

"Like I told you before I'll take care of her," Mark tells me and I smile.

 **(CLARE)**

"It's time for you to get to school your lunch is almost over," Asher tells me coming into the archives Friday afternoon.

"I don't want to leave; these archives are amazing."

"I know but I promised your brother I'd take care of you. You can spend more time in the archives another time. I'll see you Monday Newsie."

I smile and grab my things returning to school in the truck. I go to the caf to get some lunch before going to my locker to get my books.

"I can come to your place tonight for tutoring or we can do it at mine," Mark says when we're walking from third period to fourth.

"Umm better do it at mine I won't have the truck so I'll walk home after newspaper staff."

"I'll hang around the school and do homework, when you're done with newspaper I'll drive us back to your place," Mark offers and I grin.

"Thanks Mark."

After fourth period Mark tells me he'll wait in the library and to come get him when I'm done. At newspaper staff Katie tells me Jake asked her out and they have a date this weekend. I tell her I'm happy for them. She also gives me a really easy assignment so I'm pretty sure Jake talked to her too. When the meeting ends I go to the library and find Mark telling him I'm ready to go.

"Hello Mark are you staying for dinner?" Mom asks when we come into my house.

"Yeah I'm going to tutor him after dinner," I tell her.

Mark helps set the table and we sit down to eat. Everyone talks about their day but Jake and I don't say anything about him talking to Asher. After dinner Fitz and I go up to my room so I can tutor him. We sit on my bed, I help him with a few problems and then get out my books to start on my homework.

"This isn't too much for you is it?"

"Tutoring you? No it's not too much it's not hard at all, I like helping you and spending the time with you."

"I like spending the time with you too and I really appreciate the help but I could get help from Bianca or Owen or something. Just Jake told us you passed out last week and I don't want to add to your stress I want to take it away," Mark tells me and it brings a smile to my lips.

"Jake is worrying too much, which is both sweet and annoying. I don't know why I passed out I'm sure it was nothing. Tutoring doesn't take a lot of effort, it's not stressful at all and you don't add to my stress Mark. Believe me of everything on my plate tutoring you takes the least amount of time and stress and like I said I like spending the time with you," I assure him and Mark grins.

I spend a couple of hours tutoring him and helping with his homework before Mark leaves. Then I shower and watch a movie on my laptop before going to sleep. I wake up late on Saturday, although I do wake up before Jake. Mom and Glen are gone so I eat breakfast and shower, do some laundry and chores before getting ready for my date with Mark.

"You look gorgeous," Mark grins when he comes to pick me up that night.

"Thanks," I smile.

"Have fun," Glen says from the living room. I wave to him and follow Mark out to his car. He takes me to his place, the Milligan house but it's house now too.

"I thought we'd go simple tonight and since the Milligan family is all gone for the night or will be out late we have the house to ourselves," Mark tells me and I give him a discerning look. "I'm not trying to pull anything, we'll watch a movie and order in dinner," he says and I smile now.

"That sounds nice."

We go inside and spend a few minutes discussing what we want to eat and then where to order from. While Mark orders food I look at the array of movies the Milligan's own and pick one out to watch. Between the tastes of Owen, Tristan and their parents their movies run the gamut of genres. I decide on a classic comedy reckoning that it's something both Mark and I can enjoy. Mark puts the movie in and turns out the lights sitting on the sofa with me. The movie is nearly over by the time the food arrives, I pause the movie and Mark gets up to answer the door and pay for the food.

"I'll get the food onto plates why don't you pick out another movie to watch since this one is almost over," Mark suggests after locking the door again.

"Sounds good I'm going to use the washroom first," I tell him.

I get up and have some trouble walking because my leg is asleep. I had my legs curled behind me on the sofa guess I shouldn't do that. I'm also feeling some pain in my thigh and decide I need to find some time to exercise.

I use the washroom, pick out another movie and sit down to eat. After eating and about halfway through the movie I become rather uncomfortable. I begin shifting, trying to find a comfortable position, even getting up and walking to the kitchen with the excuse of getting water to see if that helps.

"Are you okay?" Mark asks.

"Yes but my lower back is a little sore and my leg hurts a bit," I tell him hoping my voice doesn't sound as whiny as I feel like it does.

"I can rub you that might help," he offers and I nod returning to the sofa. "Where does it hurt?" He asks.

"Here," I reply showing him the spot on my lower back that's sore and uncomfortable.

"Hang on," he says and gets up disappearing back into his room. He returns after a moment with some gym shorts and a button up jersey, which he hands to me. He's also got a pillow from his bed under one arm. "Here change into these, it will be hard for me to rub your lower back or leg with what you're wearing. I promise they're clean."

I smile and take the clothes and he pauses the movie. I change in the washroom leaving my jeans and sweater in there. When I go back the living room Mark has the pillow on the arm of the sofa, he's also got a bottle of lotion so the skin on skin friction doesn't hurt.

"You should lean on the pillow so that you're comfortable and can watch the movie," he says.

I get on the sofa and move the pillow a little, leaning on it with my chest and my arms propped under my head so I can see the TV. I'm almost kneeling, I have my knees bent and my legs underneath me although I'm supporting most of my weight on my chest and arms. Mark asks me to show him where it hurts again as I hear him dispensing some lotion into his hands.

"Tell me if hurts and how much pressure you want," Mark says.

"Okay start out with light pressure," I request.

"I'll be gentle," Mark assures me. After a couple moments of him gently rubbing my back and me barely feeling anything I request more pressure. He's very good about not applying too much pressure at once and doing it gradually and it does feel good. "I do feel a knot here, I don't want to dig into it though I'll just rub around it at this pressure and try to get the muscles to relax," Mark tells me.

"Thanks it does feel good, I think it's helping," I reply. Mark continues rubbing for about twenty minutes but then the pain in my leg suddenly becomes worse and I sit up, knocking into Mark as I stretch out my leg. "Sorry my leg really hurts," I apologize.

"It's okay why don't you lie back against the pillow and I'll get you some aspirin or something," he says and I nod. I lean back on the pillow and he returns after a moment with a pill and some water for me. I swallow it and he lifts my legs sitting with them on his lap. "Where does it hurt?" He asks.

I show him where and he takes some lotion gently rubbing the area where I feel the pain. By the time the second movie is over I am feeling better, whether it's the aspirin, Mark's rubbing or the combination I'm not sure but I am relieved.

"I did pick up some dessert for us if you want it? It is getting kind of late," Mark comments.

"My curfew isn't for almost two hours and dessert sounds nice, but I think I'll change back into my clothes before anyone else gets home," I comment.

"Owen probably won't be home until at least two, Tristan and his parents are at Alice's parent's house until tomorrow so no one is coming back soon. If you want to change back into your clothes anyway I understand and I'll get dessert for us," Mark tells me.

I grin and kiss his cheek before getting up. After changing I find dessert set up on the kitchen island, it has stools at it so we sit on those and eat dessert. After finishing dessert we play a board game and he returns me home just before my curfew.

"Tonight was wonderful thank you Mark," I smile putting a hand on his shoulder and my other behind his neck. Then I stand on my tiptoes and ensnare his lips, he hisses a breath just slightly as it hurts his burnt lips but he doesn't break the kiss. On the contrary he holds my waist tightly lifting me up slightly and pressing me to him a bit. I deepen the kiss by parting my lips and coaxing his tongue to play with mine. We kiss log enough that Mom begins flicking the porch lights on us. "I'd better go in or she'll come out, I'll see you Monday."

"See you Monday," Mark grins stepping away from me so I can go inside. Once I'm in with the door locked I watch him return to his car.

"Well things seem to be going quite well with Mark," Mom comments. She's in her robe and ready for bed which means she was waiting up for me.

"Yeah they are. Goodnight Mom," I grin kissing her cheek and going up to my room to get ready for bed.

I think about the date as I get ready for bed, how sweet Mark was and how attentive. I even dream of him that night, a rather sexy dream of him rubbing me and us kissing. In the dream I'm wearing his clothes again and he rubs up my legs and under the shorts. I wake up flushed and thinking of Mark but I wake up to my ringing phone and see that it's Eli.

"Hi Eli," I yawn stretching in my bed.

"Good morning Edwards, did I wake you? It's almost noon."

"It's okay guess I was tired."

"Well I hope you've gotten enough rest because I'm going to pick you up for our date in an hour."

 **Update soon and it will begin with Clare and Eli's date. Also some Mark pov where we find out what happened with his mom since it didn't fit into this chapter. It will also probably include the hockey game and possibly some Dallas pov.**


	6. Until I Become Your Number One

**We've officially been through one full round of the new system. I hope everyone understands it now and while you're probably missing the frequency of chapters you used to get hopefully you are enjoying the length of the chapters now.**

 **Guest reviewers please remember to check my profile page for responses within 2 days of leaving your review. About 90% of the time I do respond. Most especially if you are making a request, I am always open to requests but sometimes I have questions, responses or need clarification. So be sure to check the profile page for responses.**

 **Ch. 6 Until I Become Your Number One**

 **(CLARE)**

"You look great," Eli grins when I open my front door.

"I'm only wearing jeans and a sweater," I point out grabbing my coat from the hall closet.

"And you look great," he grins.

I lock my front door and Eli puts his hand at my back taking me to his dad's car which he's borrowed for the day. Eli's wearing black skinny jeans, a grey shirt and a black button up with a black jacket of course. Our first stop is our favorite museum and I smile when he parks.

"I know you wanted to see the new exhibit. I'll bet you don't do any of this stuff with Fitz," Eli says putting his arm around me as we walk to the entrance.

"No I don't do this sort of thing with Mark and that's all I'm telling you about my date with Mark. You know he wants to be called Mark," I remind Eli.

"I know but I just can't do that he'll always be Fitz to me no matter how he's changed," Eli replies.

He pays for us and we walk in holding hands. We walk through the exhibit, looking at the art and talking about the pieces. When we're done at the museum we eat lunch at our favorite restaurant. Eli tells me about the play he wants to put on this semester. I talk mostly about my co-op.

"I hope you're not tired I have more planned," Eli tells me when we leave lunch.

"I'm not tired, what's next?"

Eli smirks and begins driving, we go to The Monkey's Paw and each get a random book from the biblo-mat, a vending machine that dispenses books. Eli tells me we'll use these later, we walk for a bit after this before returning to Eli's house. Both his parents are out and we have the house to ourselves but we still go up to Eli's room.

"You've kept it really clean I'm proud of you Eli," I smile when I see his room.

"It never would have happened without you Clare," Eli grins.

We take off our shoes and jackets and get on his bed. We read to each other from the books we got, the book I got is a bit racy and my cheeks go a little red reading some parts but Eli enjoys it. We read for a while and then make ourselves ice cream sundaes for dessert. We eat in the living room watching a foreign film and then we return to Eli's room and read to each other from the books again. I'm reading a rather sensuous part in my book when Eli lifts my sweater and softly kisses my abdomen.

"Eli," I giggle shrieking slightly, "It's hard to read when you do that."

"I think we've had enough of reading," Eli smirks taking the book.

Before I can respond he latches his lips to mine. I give in, sliding down a little, closing my eyes and linking my arms around his neck. Eli's tongue glides over my bottom lip and my lips part. Eli's hand strokes my belly so softly that it tickles. We make out on his bed for a while but when I hear his parents come home I pull away.

"Your parents are home," I tell Eli.

"So Julia practically lived here," Eli shrugs.

"But I'm not Julia and I don't feel comfortable making out like this with your parents home. Besides I need to get home and get ready for tomorrow," I assert.

Eli sighs but he does start to get up, as he moves off me I feel a shooting pain from my lower back down my leg. I whimper in pain and Eli leaps off me with a worried look.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you," he says with an apologetic tone, "what did I do?"

"It's okay, I'm alright. I'm not sure, maybe you pinched a nerve or something when you were getting off me. I'm alright now it just hurt for a second," I assure him.

He looks relieved but still looks sorry and takes my hands helping me off the bed. My leg doesn't hurt anymore but it's does have that pins and needles feeling still. When I try to stand on it I falter and begin to fall but Eli catches me holding tight.

"Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you ought to rest here for a bit, just stay on the bed and I'll go and make you some tea," Eli says getting me back on the bed.

"Okay thanks," I nod feeling a little weak of all sudden.

Eli leaves his room and I lie on his bed playing a game on my phone until Eli returns with a cup of tea for me. He reads to me while I drink the tea. I'm feeling better by the time I finish my tea and Eli takes me home.

"Thank you Eli I had a great time," I smile when he walks me to my door. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him goodnight.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Eli smirks.

I unlock my door going inside and Eli gets in his car to go home. Mom asks how the date was and I tell her it was nice but don't elaborate. I'm a little hungry again since we didn't really eat dinner so I get a snack from the kitchen before going upstairs. Jake knocks on my door and I tell him to come in, he asks if I had a good time and if I'm feeling alright and I say yes to both and Jake leaves my room again. I eat and start writing on my laptop but fall asleep while writing and wake up early. It's hardly five but I get up and shower any way, then get ready for school. When Glen sees me awake so early he offers me a ride to school and I ask for one to The Interpreter instead. Glen takes me and I thank him before getting out of the car and going inside. It's quite early but many people are here already, in fact Asher is here in his office and he waves me in when he sees me.

"You're here very early," Asher smiles.

"I woke up early and thought I'd get an early start."

"Wonderful since you're here so early you can join us for the meeting for now you can get started with the fact checking on your desk."

I smile and leave his office for my desk. Asher comes to get me when it's time for the meeting. I sit with him and observe but this time I keep my mouth shut and just watch the meeting. After the meeting I remember to e-mail Miss Oh that I came early to co-op. I stay for the rest of my shift but when I realize it will be lunch in twenty minutes and I'll need to get the bus back to school, and I haven't eaten yet, I decide to call it a day.

"I need to take the bus to school and, I haven't had anything but coffee all morning, so I should be getting back to DeGrassi," I tell Asher going into his office.

"That's not good I did promise your brother I'd look out for you. I'll take you to DeGrassi and make sure you eat," Asher says.

"Thanks but that's not necessary and I don't want to take you away from work."

"I need to get lunch anyway and I won't have you getting sick we need you around here. Besides I'd hate to get another visit from your brother. Come on let's get you to school," Asher says hitting a few buttons on his computer and standing up. He grabs his coat and I follow him down to his car. He drives me to school and drops me off at the steps.

"I'll see you tomorrow Newsie," he says as I get out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride see you tomorrow Asher," I wave to him closing the car door and I go up the steps and into school.

I put my backpack away and walk to the caf to get lunch, the bell hasn't rung for lunch yet but I get lunch and sit down. I'm almost done with lunch when the bell does ring and the caf beings to fill with students. Dallas is one of the first ones in the caf along with Drew, Bianca, Bo and Ingvar.

"Just the friend I was looking for," Dallas grins sitting next to me and I smile back. "So how goes it with the suitors?"

"Complicated. I like them both which is terrible. I had very nice dates with them both this weekend. Mark and I were at his house; I mean Owen's house but it's his now too. We watched movies and ate take-out, when my back was sore he rubbed me and we had dessert and played a board game. It was sensual and sweet, relaxing and comfortable. Yesterday Eli took me to many of our favorite places. We got books and read to each other back at his place, we had dessert and read to each other again and then made out for a while, he even made me tea when I was in pain. It was familiar and fun and scintillating. I had a fabulous time with them both and it didn't help my decision at all."

"Well if you don't have a date yet Saturday and you want a distraction from the fight of the suitors I could use some company. I'm going to Guelph and spending the day with my son," he tells me and I smile.

"I don't have a date Saturday yet and I'd love to come to Guelph with you."

"Fantastic I'll pick you up at ten then and we'll be seeing you at the game Friday?"

"Yes I'll be there."

"Sweet," Dallas replies before getting up from the table and I clear my trash before leaving the caf. A day in Guelph sounds fun and it will be nice to meet Rocky.

 **(MARK)**

"How was co-op?" I ask Clare when I see her in third period Monday morning.

"Great," she grins.

"I work this evening but you can come to The Dot and tutor me for a while after school. We can use the breakroom it will be quieter."

"Sounds good I'll be there as soon as I can get away from newspaper staff," she tells me and I grin.

Miss Oh gives us a project in media studies and it takes us all of class to do it. When we leave media studies Clare and I walk to communications technology class together. When fourth period lets out I walk her to the DeGrassi Daily office.

"I'll see you when you're done, I'll be doing homework at The Dot until you get there," I tell Clare and she smiles.

She goes in and I go out to the parking lot getting in my car and making the short drive to The Dot. I enter through the main entrance, sit at a table and start doing my homework but I'm distracted and tired. I hardly slept at all last night after meeting with my mom and I keep thinking about it which makes it hard to concentrate. I don't even notice Clare walk in until she touches my shoulder and I jump.

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you," she apologizes.

"I was spacing out, let's move to the breakroom," I tell her getting my books and getting up. "Spin we're going to study in the breakroom, I tell him and he nods.

We sit down and she looks at my math homework before demonstrating the first problem and how to break it down, then tells me to work on the others. I look at the problems trying to figure them out but my mind is still on last night.

"Are you okay?" Clare questions touching my arm again.

"Yeah I'm sorry my mind is kind of somewhere else. I'm paying attention now I promise."

"What's on your mind? You've seemed a little…off all day long."

"I saw my mom last night. I'd tried calling her and she finally called me back and we went to dinner last night. I'd been worried about her after Steve and the incident with my stepdad at the school I thought maybe they took their anger at me out on her."

"Was she hurt badly?"

"She wasn't hurt at all. She told me that I never should have moved back in after juvie and that my stepdad had a right to be angry. She told me she was testifying on their behalf in court and to never contact her again."

"Mark that's awful. She chose them over her own son. I know it's not exactly the same but I kind of know how you feel. When my parents got divorced they were supposed to share the house and the condo but my dad never came to the house he backed out on the lease of his condo and moved in with that woman he was having an affair with. He sends child support every month but I've only seen him three times since he moved out. He chose that woman and her kids over me."

"Sucks doesn't it?"

"Yeah a lot but I had people and so do you. You're not alone Mark. You have Owen's family and Bianca, and me too," Clare says and I smile.

"Thanks," I grin and kiss her cheek. "I'm paying attention now I promise."

Clare smiles and explains the problem again, breaking it down for me, before she has me do a few on my own. I work for about an hour, solving the problems with help from Clare but then I have to clock in for work.

"I think I'll hang out here and do my homework and maybe you can take me home on your lunch?" Clare asks with a hopeful tone and it makes me smile.

"I would love that," I grin.

We gather our things and I walk her out to the café again. She puts her stuff on a table and then orders some coffee. I do concentrate on work but any time I have a moment of down time or it slows down for a second I'm watching Clare. She seems to know when I'm watching her and she looks up and smiles at me.

I know when Ice Hounds practice ends because Owen and half the team come in. It's dinner time and they all order dinner, Clare seems to realize it's dinner time and orders dinner for herself. Dallas and Owen push a bunch of tables together and the Ice Hounds sit with Clare while they eat. By the time the Ice Hounds are done eating and starting to leave it's time for my lunch.

"I'm on lunch but we can hang out for a while longer if you don't want to go home yet," I tell Clare after clocking out.

"No I should get home, see you guys tomorrow," Clare waves to Owen and Dallas.

"Later Clare," Owen smiles.

"Goodnight," Dallas grins.

I help Clare get her coat on and wave to the others as we exit the café. We get in my car and I drive her home pulling into the driveway a little bit behind her mom's car.

"I guess since I have the pleasure of taking you to the game Friday night you have a date with Eli Saturday?" I question.

"Actually no I'm spending the day with Dallas on Saturday," she replies and I pinch my eyebrows together while cocking one. It's a face that makes her giggle and I adore her giggle. "Don't worry it's not a date it's a distraction. He's going home to Guelph and I'm going with him to spend the day and do some thinking, clear my head a bit."

"I hope you have a good time then," I tell her.

"Thanks Mark," she replies and leans over kissing my cheek softly before she gets out of the car.

I watch her until she goes inside and I go back to The Dot. Most of the Ice Hounds are still here, I put in an order for lunch and sit down with them. They hang out until I'm done eating and then they go home and I spend the last few minutes of my break doing homework. The later it gets the quieter The Dot gets; Spinner is off right after I'm done with lunch and I'm closing tonight. I get home a little after midnight and Owen's still awake when I get home.

"You know Dallas is taking Clare to Guelph on Saturday," Owen comments.

"Yeah she told me, they're just going as friends. She said it's a distraction and will let her do something thinking and clear her head."

"Do some thinking about you and Eli I'm assuming," Owen remarks.

"Yeah I would think so. I'll make sure she has an amazing time Friday night," I reply with a grin already thinking about how to make our date special.

I finish the little bit of homework I have left and go to bed. I fall asleep easily and with a smile on my face as I think about Clare and have an incredible dream about us...

… _I fall back in the overstuffed chair and look out the window at the city skyline. The late morning sun hits my bare chest and I feel the warmth of it on my skin. It's a lazy morning and I'm wearing nothing but jeans. Clare comes out of the bedroom, our bedroom, she's wearing one of my pajama shirts with only two of the buttons done and she wears nothing else. She grins when she sees me and walks over to the chair seating herself in my lap. Her arms go around my neck and her soft and supple lips touch gently to mine. Her eyes stay open and I think how very lucky I am…_

My alarm yanks me out of my beautiful sensuous dream of a happy future and I groan. It was such a wonderful dream about Clare and I, oh well at least I'll see her at school in a little bit. I get up and take a shower before getting ready for school, Owen left early for practice so Tris rides to school with me. When we get to school I wait just inside for Clare, I didn't see Jake's truck when we pulled in so I don't think they're here yet. Drew and Adam come in shortly after I do and they hang out at the entrance with me. Soon we're joined by Bianca and finally Jake and Clare come in. As soon as I see Clare I think about the incredible dream I had last night and I smile at her.

"I have to sign in at Miss Oh's class and head to co-op," Clare says.

"I'll walk you," I offer and she grins taking my arm. I take her to Miss Oh's class and then walk her out to the truck. "I'll see you at lunch or possibly third period if you don't make it back for lunch," I comment as Clare gets in the truck.

"I'll definitely see you in third period," she smiles.

"I don't work this afternoon so I can wait in the library for you to finish with newspaper and then you can tutor me. We can do it at my house or yours."

"We'd better do it at mine in case I fall asleep again, that way I'll at least have fallen asleep in my bed."

"I didn't mind when you did. You can sleep in my bed any time," I reply and Clare's cheeks go red as she giggles and I realize that sounded wrong. "No I didn't mean…I meant I'd sleep in Owen's room," I trip over my words as I attempt to right what I said.

"That's okay I knew what you meant and it's sweet," she grins and kisses me tenderly. I let go of the car door and she closes it. I back up a few steps and watch her drive off before I walk back into school with a huge grin on my face.

 **(CLARE)**

"Big plans this weekend Newsie?" Asher asks coming to my desk Friday morning.

"Well the Ice Hounds first game is tonight and I'm going. Tomorrow I'm going with a friend to Guelph and I have a date Sunday."

"Sounds like it will be a fun and full weekend," Asher smiles. "I have to do some research for an article would you like to come with me down to the archives?"

"Yes I love the archives," I grin.

Asher offers me his hand and helps me up. We go to the elevators and down to the archives. Asher tells me what we're looking for and I begin looking. We're looking in the same aisle but on opposite sides. When I find the book of past issues that I think has one of the articles Asher is looking for I sit on the floor and pull the book out. I start flipping through the book and looking at the articles. Asher is doing the same with another book but he's not sitting on the floor he's leaning on the shelves.

"Here this is what you need," I tell him picking up the book and standing up to take it over to him but I find it hard to stand and I get dizzy.

I start to falter and I hear a loud bang, I realize Asher dropped the book he was reading as his arms come around me. He holds tight to keep me from falling. I'm now pressed against his body, one of his arms is around my waist and the other across my chest with a hand resting on my clavicle.

"Are you alright?" Asher asks.

"Yes I'm fine I think I just stood up too fast," I tell him.

I really do feel better now but he's still holding me. He takes the book from me setting it on a shelf yet he's still holding me, if I were in Eli's arms or Mark's arms or even Drew or Owen's arms it would be okay but this is starting to feel uncomfortable and a little creepy. Asher is more than twice my age and old enough to be my father yet I can feel a bulge growing in his pants as he holds me closer to his body.

"Are you sure you're alright you looked like you were about to pass out."

"I…I'm fine," I stutter slightly as I become more nervous and slightly afraid of this situation, "really I just stood up too fast."

"Can't let anything happen to you Newsie," Asher smirks as he slowly lets go of me. "So you found what I was looking for?" Asher asks as I try to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah right here," I reply taking the book from the shelf and handing it to him pointing out the article.

"Excellent Newsie I don't know what I'd do without you. Can you go up and put this on my desk please? It's almost time for you to head back to school anyway," Asher says.

"Yeah no problem I'll see you Monday," I reply nodding slowly.

"Have a good weekend Newsie. Come prepared to work Monday because I think you're ready to write that article," Asher tells me and my lips spread into an excited smile. My heart begins racing with pride and enthusiasm, just like that all the trepidation and bad feelings I had a moment ago disappear.

"Really? I'll be here early Monday morning ready to work," I reply with a giddy grin that I wear all the way upstairs.

I set the book on Asher's desk, grab my stuff and go down to the truck. I start driving to school and replaying Asher telling me I get to write my article next week. When I'm nearly at school I begin replaying more of the scene in my mind and I remember the feeling of being in Asher's arms. It wasn't pleasant or comforting at all it was unsettling. I park at the school but I'm still thinking about being in Asher's arms, I feel him holding me again and I shiver. When my door gets opened I gasp and jump because it was startling but relax when I see that it was Owen.

"Are you planning to spend all of lunch in Jake's truck?" Owen inquires.

"I was just thinking," I reply as Owen gently pulls me out of the truck.

"About something serious by the looks of it," Owen remarks as I grab my backpack and lock the truck door. "Perhaps your dueling crushes?" Owen asks as we begin walking into the school.

"No for once it's not them preoccupying my mind."

"Then what has you looking so glum?"

"At co-op my boss…" I begin and then my sentence trails off.

"Your boss what?" Owen queries just as the lunch bell rings. Knowing that kids will be pouring out soon I grab Owen's jacket and pull him back down the steps and out to the snow covered football field.

"I was in the archives with him, we've been down there before. Well I was looking at an archive book on the floor and must have stood up too fast because I got dizzy. Asher dropped the book he was holding and caught me, holding me with his arms around me. At first it was fine but he kept holding me, very closely and the way his arms were around me was like a boyfriend might hold me, and he…" I pause biting my lip deciding not to tell Owen Asher was getting aroused. "It just became uncomfortable and somewhat unsettling."

"Yeah sounds like it, he sounds like a real creep to me, has that happened before?"

"No nothing like that and we've been in the archives together before and he didn't do that. Of course, I didn't get dizzy that time either."

"Yeah well just be careful I don't trust this guy. How you feeling now?"

"Fine I just stood up to fast like I said, and now I'm hungry so I'm gonna go have lunch," I reply walking back toward the entrance and Owen comes with me.

He walks inside with me and we both walk to the caf. I see the Ice Hounds eating at a table. Owen and I get in line to get food and after I pay for lunch I sit down with Alli, Dave, Jenna, K.C. and Connor.

"So how goes the Mark/Eli fight?" Alli asks.

"Alli it's not a fight," I reprimand her.

"It is a competition though that's close enough. If you can't make your decision soon I give it until your birthday before Eli resorts to violence or something drastic," K.C. remarks and I grimace at him.

"Well maybe my day with Dallas on Saturday will help me decide."

"Another distraction date with Dallas?" Alli questions raising her eyebrows at me.

"It's not a date he's going to Guelph for the day and invited me. Hopefully some space away from Mark and Eli will help my heart decide."

They drop it after that talking about their own weekend plans, I stay with them for lunch and then walk with K.C. and Dave to third period. Mark smiles at me when he comes into class. When third period ends Mark and I walk to fourth together and when school is out he walks me to the DeGrassi Daily office and tells me he'll be waiting in the library when I'm done. It's a pretty short meeting because it's Friday afternoon and everyone wants to go home.

"That was fast," Mark comments when I get to the library.

"It's Friday everyone wants to go home and start their weekend."

"Are you hungry? I thought we'd get dinner before the game. Although I thought you'd be a little longer," Mark says.

"That's okay I could eat early, I didn't eat all that much at lunch and we should probably get to the arena a little early and get our seats," I reply.

Mark grins and gets out his phone to call someone, all he says is that we're coming now. Then he holds out his hand, I take his hand interlacing our fingers and we walk out to his car and he starts driving but then he parks at The Dot. I don't think anything of it we eat at The Dot all the time, but instead of going through the front we go up to Above the Dot which doesn't open for another couple of hours, still Mark unlocks the door and we go inside. He flips on the lights and I grin, most of the club is the same as it always is however the seating area in the back is decorated with candles and lanterns, a white tablecloth is over the coffee table with rose petals all around it and flowers on the table.

"It's gorgeous Mark," I grin crushing my lips to his in a blissful kiss.

"I put in an order with Spinner earlier, he'll bring our food up shortly," Mark says taking my jacket off for me.

While he hangs our coats I walk back to the seating area and sit on the sofa. Mark comes and sits with me, as soon as he's sitting down I take his arm and put it around me leaning against him. Mark smiles and kisses my temple. As good as it feels to be in Mark's embrace it also brings back some of the feelings of being in Asher's unwanted embrace earlier. I try to ignore it and just enjoy being with Mark.

"How was co-op?" Mark asks after a few moments of silence and I freeze up. "Did something happen at co-op?"

"Asher said I was ready to write my article and we can work on it next week."

"That's great," Mark smiles and then the door opens.

Spinner brings our food in and we thank him. Spin leaves and we start eating. I don't want to talk about co-op anymore so I ask him about his classes and work instead.

"This was wonderful Mark, a beautiful start to the night," I grin giving him a tender kiss when we're done eating.

"Good exactly what I wanted. Are you ready to go to the game?"

"Shouldn't we clean up?"

"I traded Spin for his opening shift Sunday to get the VIP treatment of the dinner and the staff doing the clean up tonight," Mark confesses to me.

"It was very sweet of you to go through all this trouble for me. Especially taking an opening shift to do it I know you don't like to open because it's so early in the morning."

"This was nothing, I'd do anything for you Clare," Mark says and I grin, "come on let's go to the game."

 **Update soon beginning with Clare and Mark at the game and including her day in Guelph with Dallas.**


	7. Sirens Screaming in the Distance

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 **DeGrassi Saviors News~**

 **The first 60 pictures for the 200 stories gallery are up on the DeGrassi Saviors website and the next 10 will be up Saturday.**

 **And Finally, readers of tomfeltonlover1991's stories she has not disappeared. She is working on two stories and a shot she hopes to have at least one chapter up soon. Please see her page on the DeGrassi Saviors website for further details.**

 **Ch. 7 Sirens Screaming in the Distance**

 **(CLARE)**

"Looks like we're sitting with you guys," Mark comments to Drew and Bianca after looking at our tickets.

"Yeah right up front with all the action, wait until you see Owen slam a guy into the plexiglass," Bianca says excitedly.

"She likes hockey," Drew grins as we sit down.

Mark puts his arm around me and we watch the teams warming up. When Owen and Dallas see us in the stands they wave and we wave back. It's fun to watch the hockey game live but the part I enjoy most is being with Mark. The Ice Hounds win and we cheer for them and celebrate in the stands. Since we're at the front near the ice we have to wait for the stands to empty before we can leave. While we're waiting I get a text on my phone.

"Dallas says they're all going to Pete's to celebrate and he's inviting us to come," I tell them.

"Sweet pizza I'm hungry again," Dew smiles.

"You eat like a pig," Bianca shakes her head.

We file out of the rink and get in our cars driving down the street and park at the pizza place. We go in and find a table, Drew orders pizza but Mark and I already ate, the two of us and Bianca do get drinks. The team comes in shortly and push a bunch of tables together before sitting with us. There's lots of talk about the game and the team is pretty rowdy being pumped on adrenaline from their win. Still I have fun, it's interesting in a way to see so much male energy. Thankfully Bianca and I are not the only girls here as many of the puck bunnies have joined us.

"So Distract-Friend," Dallas says to me as we leave the restaurant and I smile at the nickname, "I'll pick you up at ten tomorrow."

"I'll be ready," I grin.

We wave to everyone and Mark opens the car door for me. He gets in and drives me home, opening my door once again then he offers me his arm and walks me to the front door.

"Call me after your day with Dallas tomorrow?" Mark requests.

"I will, thanks for tonight Mark it was great," I smile gripping his jacket and standing on my tiptoes to affix my lips to his. He puts a hand at the small of my back and deepens the kiss, slowly and reluctantly we pull apart after several minutes and Mark is grinning.

"Goodnight Clare," he smiles.

I unlock my front door and when I'm inside lock the door again. I wait until Mark is in his car driving away and I turn out the porch light smiling to myself.

"So the date went well I take it?" Jake's voice makes me jump.

"Yes the date was great, I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed," I tell him.

He just grins and goes back to eating his midnight snack. I shower and get ready for bed, falling asleep thinking about Mark and Eli both. I wake to other sounds in the house but I slept much later than I meant to, Dallas said he'd be here at ten which gives me just over half an hour to get ready. I'm glad I showered last night. I get up and get dressed and ready to go, I have barely enough time to grab a granola bar for breakfast before Dallas knocks on the door.

"So any luck with the boyfriend debate?" Dallas asks as he begins driving.

"Not at all, I like them both so much but I know I can't date them both for much longer. I think my friends are already betting on when they'll start resorting to violence or just giving up."

"I somehow doubt they'll give up. How about Co-op how's that going?"

"Great, Asher is an amazing mentor I'm really learning a lot from him. Uh you did tell your parents I was coming right? And that we're just friends?" I question and Dallas laughs a little.

"Yeah I told them and don't worry they don't think I'm bringing home a girlfriend I told them all about my Distract-Friend," he assures me and I grin.

I spend most of the rest of the drive talking about co-op and working with Asher. I admit when Dallas pulls up to his house I get a little nervous even though he's assured me his parents don't think he's bringing home a girlfriend. I follow him to the front door and he uses a key to get in. He takes off his coat hanging it on a hook right next to the door and I do the same.

"We're here," he calls into the house.

"DADDY," Rocky yells gleefully as he runs into the living room and jumps into Dallas' arms. Dallas grins and picks him up hugging Rocky tightly and kissing his forehead. It makes me smile to watch this, Dallas is obviously a good father.

"Hi Honey good to have you home," his mom smiles kissing his cheek and then she looks at me. "Hi Clare it's good to have you here I'm Natalie," she says hugging me.

"Thanks so much for having me it's nice to meet you," I smile.

"Where's Dad?" Dallas asks still holding Rocky.

"I just sent him to the store to get some stuff for dinner tonight, we were going to go out but it's supposed to start snowing again, he'll be back shortly. If you'll excuse me I need to finish lunch," Natalie replies going into the kitchen.

"Rocky this is Daddy's friend Clare," Dallas says introducing me to his son. Rocky looks at me and waves shyly as he puts his head on Dallas' shoulder.

"Hi Rocky it's nice to meet you," I smile looking him in the eye.

"You want see my toys?" Rocky asks.

"Sure, I'd love to see your toys," I grin.

Rocky wriggles out of Dallas' arms and to the floor, he takes my hand and pulls me to the back of the house where the bedrooms are. He takes me into a room that's obviously his bedroom when he's staying here. Rocky takes me over to a chest of toys and starts pulling things out of it and telling me all about them. I sit down on the floor and Rocky hands me toy after toy as he tells me their names or describes them if they don't have names. Dallas grins and sits on the floor with me, it's fun to watch Rocky get so excited over his toys, it's a simple thing but reminds me how new and special everything is to a child and how we lose that as we get older.

"I think I hear my dad you want to come meet him?" Dallas asks.

"Of course," I smile.

"Rock let's introduce Clare to Grandpa and you can show her more of your toys after lunch okay?"

"Otay," Rocky nods taking my hand and pulling me up. "Gampa," Rocky calls as he pulls me out to the hall. Dallas' dad steps out of the kitchen and smiles at us.

"Hi Clare it's nice to meet you I'm Gordon," he says extending his hand. I smile and shake his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Gordon."

"Lunch will be ready in a couple of minutes Dallas can you set the table please?" Natalie requests.

"Yeah sure, Rocky go washup for lunch," Dallas requests.

"I'll washup with you Rocky if you show me where the washroom is," I tell him.

Rocky smiles and takes my hand pulling me to the washroom, I actually did see it on the way to his room earlier but I thought he'd prefer to show me. We washup and go to the kitchen where Dallas has the table set. Natalie made fried chicken and salad for lunch, it's very good and I'm now glad I ate so little for breakfast or I wouldn't have been able to eat much of it. His parents ask me some questions over lunch, not invasive questions just general questions about school and the things I like. After lunch Dallas helps his parents clean up and Rocky takes me back to his room. We play with his toys some more and then I read him his favorite book three times before Dallas comes in the room.

"Hey Rocky you want to go play at the mall for a bit?" Dallas asks him.

"Yeah," Rocky grins jumping up excitedly.

"This kid has a lot of energy and we can't take him to the park with all the snow but there's a little playground at the mall," Dallas tells me.

"Sounds good," I grin.

Dallas helps Rocky get his shoes and coat on, we put our coats on at the door and Dallas calls that we're leaving. He takes a booster seat from near the door to put in his car. It's hard to talk on the drive to the mall because Rocky is talking most of the way, not really talking to us just talking out loud. After Dallas parks at the mall and when we get out of the car Rocky takes our hands, walking between us and we walk into the mall. We walk to the playground and Rocky runs in while Dallas and I sit on the long bench surrounding the playground to watch Rocky.

"So, Owen told me you got dizzy at co-op Friday," Dallas comments after a while of watching Rocky play.

"Yeah I just stood up too fast," I shrug.

"Are you sure because I heard Jake talking and saying you passed out in the washroom," Dallas remarks.

"Yes I did but I'm sure I moved too fast that time too. I have been doing a lot and haven't been eating that much I'm sure that's all it is."

"That could be all it is but will you do me a favor and make an appointment with your doctor to get checked out. It probably is nothing but you need to make sure."

"I'll call my doctor on Monday," I relent and Dallas smiles.

"Good. Hey Rock you want to go get some ice cream?" Dallas calls and of course Rocky gets very excited.

"YES," Rocky screams jumping off the little slide and running over to us.

Dallas picks him up and we walk to the food court, Dallas buys the three of us ice cream and we sit down to eat. After ice cream we return to Dallas' house and Rocky falls asleep in the car so Dallas carries him in and puts him in his bed. I spend the afternoon playing board games with Dallas and his parents until Rocky wakes up and wants to play with his dad. I help Dallas' mom with dinner while they play in Rocky's room and then Dallas watches a hockey game with his dad while Rocky plays in the living room. Dallas does set the table though and we all eat dinner together. Dallas and his dad go back to watching the hockey game after dinner until Dallas gives Rocky a bath and puts him to bed.

"We should get going I need to get Clare home. I'll be back next weekend," Dallas tells his parents when he comes out of Rocky's room.

"Thanks for having me and feeding me well," I smile as Natalie hugs me goodbye and Dallas is saying goodbye to his dad.

"It was our pleasure Clare, you are more than welcome to visit again," Natalie grins. She hugs Dallas tightly and I thank Gordon for having me and then Dallas and I get our coats and leave.

We spend most of the drive talking about the visit and Rocky. I realize I've been relaxed and not worried about anything, I wasn't thinking at all about co-op, or if I should choose Eli or Mark or school or anything else. I just had a good time with a friend and his family.

"Thanks for today I had a really good time, your parents are very nice and Rocky is great," I smile at Dallas when he drops me off at home.

"I'm glad you could come, I'll see you Monday at school Distract-Friend," Dallas grins. He waits until I'm inside before driving off.

"How was your day trip?" Glen asks.

"And just when do we get to meet this boy?" Mom inquires.

"Mom he's just a friend I have no romantic interest in Dallas. He's my Distract-Friend and I'm his. Don't forget that tomorrow I have a date with Eli and I won't be home for dinner," I remind my parents before I start walking upstairs.

"Should I be worried that she has such an active social schedule?" I hear Mom asking Glen as Jake follows me upstairs.

"I think you should be proud," Glen replies.

"So what's the plan with Eli tomorrow?" Jake asks leaning in my doorway as I turn on my light.

"Why?" I question setting my purse down.

"Because I warned them to not overdue it and have easy restful dates with you," Jake replies.

"Eli said it was just dinner and a movie at his place and I feel great. But just to be on the safe side I did promise Dallas I'd call my doctor on Monday to set up an appointment for a checkup. I'm sure it's nothing though, I've just been doing a lot and not taking care of myself," I assert to Jake or myself I'm not really sure.

"You're probably right but I'm glad you're going to see the doctor just to be safe."

 **(DALLAS)**

"Hey Adam," a girl calls to him as the three of us walk into school Monday morning.

"Hi Grace," Adam smiles at her while Drew and I exchange a grin. "Grace this is my brother Drew, and our billet brother Dallas," Adam introduces us.

"It's nice to meet you," she grins politely at us before grinning with true pleasure at Adam. "I finished that mix you want to see it?" Grace asks him.

"Yeah I'd love to," Adam replies. Grace's grin grows a little bigger and she takes his hand pulling him down the hall.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Drew calls after his brother.

"There's nothing you wouldn't do," Adam shoots back.

"They're cute together how long before they start dating?" I question as we start walking to our lockers.

"Adam doesn't have an easy time with girls unless they're friends like Clare," Drew replies.

"Speaking of Clare," I comment as I see Clare talking with Jenna and Luke in the hallway. "Good morning Distract-Friend," I grin putting an arm around her shoulders. "Hi Jenna, what are you two doing with this bum?" I tease Luke and he glowers at me.

"Talking about the game Friday," Luke replies for them.

"How was your date with Eli yesterday?" I question Clare.

"It was great, we had dinner at his place watched some of our favorite movies and had dessert. And I did like you wanted this morning," she tells me.

"Good," I smile.

"Yeah but the first available wasn't for two weeks," she says.

"At least you're going," I reply.

"Speaking of going I need to get to co-op, see you guys later," Clare waves before walking off.

"First available what?" Drew inquires as we walk away from Luke and Jenna.

"Doctor's appointment," I tell him but he just wrinkles his brow at me apparently I need to explain further. "Owen told me she told him that she nearly passed out at co-op the other day. I also heard Jake talking about her passing out in the washroom."

"Actually, she almost passed out the first day of school too, she went all pale and started to fall gripping onto me. I didn't know about the others but it's good that she's going to her doctor. So," Drew remarks opening his locker and looking at me as he begins pulling his books out, "level with me you like her right? You're just sneaking your way into the competition for her heart."

"I like her but not the way you think, she's my Distract-Friend and I like her as a friend but I don't want to date her or compete for her. Doesn't mean I don't care about her, she's almost like a sister. Don't you have friends who are girls that you're not sexually interested in?"

"No, I don't have friends that are girls at all and I'd date all the girls I know if I could," Drew responds which earns him a smack upside the head from Bianca who has just joined us. "But I'm only in love with one," Drew smirks before turning around and crushing his lips to Bianca's.

"I don't think too many other girls would put up with you," Bianca retorts when their lips part and I laugh.

The day goes by pretty quickly, nothing much happens at school and after school I have Ice Hounds practice. Happy with our win from Friday Coach takes it pretty easy on us today, he just has us run a few drills. After practice the bus takes us back to school.

"Hey Owen you had business management last semester right?" I question as we get off the bus.

"Yeah why?"

"I have to do a project for a business model and I have no idea what to do."

"Let's grab some food and I'll tell you what I did last year maybe it will help, if not I'll help you brainstorm some ideas," Owen says and I smile.

"Thanks."

We get in his car and I text Audra that I'm eating with Owen and will be home later. We go to a little dive place the team likes to eat at near Danforth. Owen's project last year actually does help me and then he helps me plan out my project. After dinner we get back in his car and he starts driving me home, I'm thinking about my project and not paying too much attention as we drive until Owen hits my arm.

"Is that Clare?" Owen asks. I look where he's pointing and see Clare standing on the side of the road staring into space.

"Pull over," I tell him but he's already pulling over. He parks and we get out going over to Clare. She looks totally blank, almost as if she's not alive it's a little spooky.

"Clare?" I call to her but she doesn't respond, doesn't blink, nothing. "Clare," I say again this time putting my hand on her shoulder. All at once she becomes aware of our presence; she gasps and jumps, looks at us with wide eyes of fear and then exhales with relief when she sees that it's us. "What's wrong? What are you doing out here?" I question her. She no longer looks blank, in a matter of a few seconds I see shame, fear and sadness flash over her eyes and she even begins shaking slightly. Owen notices too and we both move close getting on either side of her.

"I…" she begins but her voice trembles, a breath catching in her throat and she clears it before starting again, "I was going home."

"Home from what?" Owen inquires.

"Co-op," is all she says but her voice trembles again and I exchange a look with Owen.

"Come on Clare, we'll give you a ride home," Owen tells her putting a hand at her back to get her to the car.

I put her in the front seat and sit in the back, she's still shaking a little and it's not from the cold. I'm sitting behind Owen and I can see her face pretty well. I watch her bite her lip as it trembles and her eyes begin to fill with tears.

"Clare did something happen at co-op?" I ask her.

"He kissed me," she whispers.

"Who?" Owen queries.

"Asher."

"Your co-op boss kissed you?! Owen turn around let's go kill him," I demand.

"No Owen keep going," Clare tells him.

"Why I think we should kill him," Owen replies.

"No you two can't do anything it was just a mistake, it had to be a mistake," she insists.

"How does he kiss you by mistake? Did he stumble and accidently fall on your lips?" Owen asks sardonically but with an angry edge to his voice.

"No but we were working late on my article, he was helping me write it, we were working closely and he kissed me. I ran out right away but I'm sure it was a mistake, it had to be a mistake," she says although she sounds like she's trying to convince herself.

"And if it wasn't mistake can we kill him then?" I ask and then look at Owen, "that's her house," I tell him and he pulls over across the street from the house.

"No, all that would do is get you guys in trouble. I'll talk to him tomorrow I'm sure it was a mistake," she asserts again.

"But what if it wasn't Clare? If it wasn't a mistake what will you do then?" I ask her.

"If it wasn't then I'll go straight to Asher's boss. Thanks for brining me home I'll see you both tomorrow. Promise me that you won't do anything or tell anyone, both of you," she insists.

"Fine talk to him tomorrow, we'll refrain from killing him at least until we hear from you tomorrow," I give in only because she's so adamant and I'm afraid to make things worse if we do try to kill him.

Clare smiles and gets out of the car, I get out too so I can sit in the front seat again. We watch Clare go into her house before Owen begins driving me to the Torres house again.

"Are we really not going to kill him? I'm more than happy to drive to The Interpreter office and punch his face through his skull," Owen says.

"I want to but there's a slim chance she's right," I comment and Owen raises his eyebrow at me while twisting his mouth. "Yeah I know he's probably a slimy bastard."

"No not probably he is a slimy bastard, when she told me she almost passed out at work on Friday she also told me that he held her and he held her too long. She said it creeped her out but she brushed it off. I didn't remember that she told me that until now I was too busy thinking about punching his face through his skull."

"So she'll realize he's a slimy bastard and she'll go to his boss and then we'll have good reason to kill him. We'll bring the whole team, it will be a teambuilding activity," I comment and Owen laughs pulling up to the Torres house. "See you tomorrow," I say to Owen getting out of the car.

I grab my backpack from the back and wave to him as I walk to the basement door. Adam and Drew are both down here watching TV and doing homework, I consider telling them about Clare but I promised I wouldn't and it will just make them angry. I sit down and do my homework, watching TV with them until they decide to go to bed. I go to bed soon after but I don't sleep very well because I have a dream about Asher attacking Clare. When we get to school Tuesday morning I wait near the entrance for her, I never see her come in but I do see Jake.

"Where's Clare?"

"She already left for co-op she said she'd be back for lunch, promised me she'd eat since she skipped breakfast."

I nod and start walking toward my locker. I would worry that she hasn't eaten but given what I know happened last night I doubt she slept well. For her sake I hope the kiss was a mistake and meant nothing but I'm still going to wait for her at lunch and make her tell me everything that happened with Asher.

 **(CLARE)**

"Well what happened?" Dallas asks as soon as I walk into school at lunch time, he's standing right inside the door with Owen so they were obviously waiting.

"It was a mistake just as I thought. I started to confront him and he apologized, he said that he's going through a rough divorce and he feels a real connection with me. He forgot that I'm only sixteen, he felt terrible and swore that it was mistake and that it'll never happen again and he'd never do anything to jeopardize our professional relationship. I'm going back after school he wants my help with research for an article," I tell them but they both look dubious.

"Just be careful okay?" Dallas asserts.

"I will."

"Good now I believe you promised Jake you'd eat so go have lunch," Dallas insists.

I smile at them and walk to the caf while I get out my phone to text Mark. I ask him if we can meet for tutoring now because I have co-op again after school. He says that's fine and I tell him I'll meet him in the memorial garden in a few minutes.

"Thanks for meeting me now, Asher asked to me come back to help him and I don't know when we'll be done. If you need more help and I finish early enough with Asher you can probably come over though," I tell him when I get to the memorial garden with lunch.

"No problem, with your help I'm actually beginning to understand what Armstrong says in class better," Mark says and I smile.

I help him break down his math homework problems and he's able to finish them all before the bell. He does work the whole time and I don't see him eat but he does finish.

"You only got two wrong," I tell Mark proudly after looking over the problems.

"I wouldn't understand any of this without your help, I can never thank you enough Clare," he grins.

"I'm happy to help. Have you eaten?"

"I'll eat before work this afternoon I'm fine. The bells about to ring can I walk you to class?"

I smile linking my arm with Mark and we walk to class. The afternoon goes by quickly, we watch a movie in both media studies and broadcast and print production. I admit I kind of zone out during both movies thinking of Mark and then Eli during the movie in media studies. While in last period I find myself thinking about Asher, and thinking of Asher I begin to remember last night. I shake it off when Mark touches my arm.

"Class is over are you okay?"

"Yeah I was just thinking," I assure him as I stand up and grab my backpack. Standing hurts, I feel a shooting pain go down my leg but I attribute that to sitting too long.

"I know I've been monopolizing a lot of your weekend nights but would you like to go out Friday after school? I'm off that night, and I work Saturday so you could go out with Eli that night," Mark says and I smile.

"I'd love to go out Friday after school."

Mark grins and he walks me to my locker before leaving to go to The Dot. I exchange some books and then begin walking out to the truck.

"Clare," Eli calls to me and I look over as he comes over to me, "if you're not tutoring Fitz tomorrow night would you like to go out for dinner?"

"I'd love to and I can tutor Mark at lunch again, but I have to get to co-op now," I tell him.

"Don't work too hard, see you tomorrow Edwards," he smirks.

I walk out to the truck and drive to The Interpreter, Asher meets me in the elevator and tells me we're covering the mayoral debate instead of researching his article. I follow him to his car and on the drive to the debate he tells me it will be like when I helped him at the rally, taking notes and pulling people over for interviews, assisting him with anything else he needs. The debate is at least calmer than the rally. After the debate I watch Asher interview not only the candidates but their aids.

"That was incredible, I can't believe how you were able to stand up against such strong political figures and knock them down with one well timed question," I grin when we're back in his car.

"Comes with experience. You did well keeping up with me Newsie," Asher says.

"I wish I could just skip the rest of high school and college and get to this. I love this feeling," I grin excitedly as I'm still high on the feeling of watching Asher in action.

"You'll get there Newsie but in the meantime," Asher remarks grabbing his tablet from the backseat, "this should keep you happy for a while."

I take the tablet after he turns it on to show me and I feel this incredible elation, "That's my name in a byline!"

"Yeah it looks good on top of mine," Asher says stroking my cheek with the back of his finger. Just like that every good feeling I had has twisted into a nauseating fear.

"What are you doing?" I question dropping the tablet to the floor.

"No one needs to know Clare," he says pulling at my jacket and opening a button on my blouse. My fear turns to adrenaline as I realize his intentions.

"Don't touch me," I shriek trying to open the door but it's locked.

"Come on Clare you know want this," he says with a tone that makes my skin crawl. I don't say anything and I'm finally able to get the door open. I scramble out as fast as I can and Asher catches my arm squeezing hard. "If you care about your career you'll keep your mouth shut," he growls at me before speeding off and leaving me in the parking lot.

For a time I sit there leaning against the wall and shaking. I feel so nauseas I think I might vomit but I don't. When I can pull myself together enough to move I find the bus and take it back to The Interpreter building and get in the truck without ever going into the building. I should march in and tell his boss but she usually leaves around four and it's after seven. Even if she was still here I don't want to see Asher again and I feel so ill that I just want to go home. Before I can drive I sit in the truck and cry, I feel sick and like I'm shaking and this odd sort of ache. After I don't know how long the tears dry and finally I'm able to drive home. First thing in the morning I'll tell Dallas what happened and then Asher's boss.

 **(JAKE)**

I hear Clare get home and go straight to the washroom and then she showers, she takes a long one. I finish my homework and go down to get a snack but I stop at Clare's room first and knock on her door.

"Clare you okay? You were in the shower for a while," I call through the door. I hear her get up and then she opens the door. She's moving funny, she looks sort of pale and green.

"I'm just not feeling that well and I'm going to bed," she tells me.

"Are you sick?"

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow okay? Goodnight Jake," she says closing her door again.

I sigh but go downstairs for my snack, I'm sure that something is going on or something happened tonight but she obviously doesn't want to talk. Sometimes I wonder if we'd never dated and had more of a traditional step-sibling relationship that she'd be more forthcoming with me about things. Although I really don't know any other step-siblings to compare us to so it's hard to say.

I grab a snack from the kitchen and go back to my room. I watch TV on my laptop and text with Katie until I go to bed. I'm woken from a wonderful dream by a loud thump in Clare's room and then I hear a cry from her. I jump out of bed and run to Clare's room knocking on the door.

"Clare?"

"Jake," she cries for me with this distressed and harrowing tone that sets my heart racing. I throw open the door and turn on the light, she's on the floor tangled in her blanket but that's not what stops me from breathing. The thing that turns the breath in my lungs cold and stops my heart is that she's trying to get up and it looks like it's the hardest thing in the world for her to do. "Jake help I can't move," she tells me and her voice cracks with terror and frustration.

"What do you mean you can't move?" I question going over to her and watching her push with her arms.

"My legs I can't move my legs," she says.

I pull the blanket off her legs and look at them. Her legs are sort of cold and she can't seem to move them. I doubt she'd fake something like this but thinking that she's paralyzed is just too much so I grab the first thing I see which is a pen on her nightstand. Using the side that doesn't write I press it into her foot as hard as I can.

"Can you feel that?" I ask her. I'm pressing so hard I can see the skin around the pen going white I'd think it would hurt or cause some sort of reaction.

"I can't even feel my legs," she informs me as she begins to cry and then her nose begins to bleed.

"DAD HELEN," I holler for our parents.

"Jake what is it son?"

"What is going on?" Helen questions as they run out of their room in a panic, they ran out so fast they didn't even get their robes on.

"Something's wrong with Clare we need to get her to the hospital."

"Clare? Baby?" Helen says rushing to her side.

"Dad she can't move," I tell him panicked. My heart is racing, I feel like I'm shaking there's so much energy and worry in me. I have no idea what's wrong with Clare but I'm afraid of all the possibilities and I wish I could do something.

"I'll call 911," Dad says.

"Mom help me why can't I move?" Clare asks with a voice so laced with terror and panic it's heartbreaking.

"I don't know Honey," Helen says and I see the blood draining from her face with fear.

"An ambulance is on its way, I'll meet them outside," Dad tells us.

It feels like it takes forever for the ambulance, Clare keeps trying to move but she can't move her legs. She's getting angrier and more frustrated with each passing second and not being able to move. Helen keeps trying to clean her bloody nose but Clare turns her head. Her nose is bleeding a lot, she seems to be paralyzed and I'm terrified about what is happening but finally I hear sirens screaming in the distance.

 **I know I know a horrible cliffhanger and you all hate me for it. The chapter is already over 6000 words though. The next chapter, which I will try to have out before Christmas but I make no promises, will pick up from about here and continue in Jake's pov.**

 **And for those of you thinking she's going to end up with Dallas remember this is not a Clallas ship story, that's** _ **Love Me Back to Life.**_ **I do have plans for Dallas in this and they do not involve him getting together with Clare.**


	8. Surgically Remove Your Soul

**I know it's been a little slow with updates lately things have been super busy at work but we are out of that now and things are calmer. Also it was my birthday last week and I had a fantabulous birthday weekend filled with two of my favorite things and now that's over so updates should be more frequent now. I hope you're all enjoying the longer chapters.**

 **There is now 100 stories represented in picture in the 200 stories gallery on the DeGrassi Saviors Website.**

 **Guest reviewers Mary and Olivia please see my profile page for questions on your requests.**

 **Ch. 8 Surgically Remove Your Soul**

 **(JAKE)**

"Clare Edwards, she was just brought in by ambulance," Helen says in a panicked voice as we rush up to the ER registration desk.

The nurse taps a few keys on the computer before looking back at us, "She was brought in a few minutes ago the doctor is with her now. You can go back to see her she's in bay two."

We rush back and find Clare, the doctor is still looking at her and she's upset, worried and frightened that she can't move her legs and I would be too. She's hooked to a heart monitor and they're drawing some blood. The doctor is asking her questions like when it started and what she ate for dinner.

"What does what she ate have to do with anything?" Helen asks with a distressed and angry tone.

"We need to get some information to help us rule out possibilities. I'm Doctor Brewster," he introduces himself.

"Glen Martin, Clare's Stepfather, this is my wife Helen and my son Jake," Dad does the introductions for us.

"Alright Clare I need you to take a deep breath I'm going to start a physical exam," Dr. Brewster tells her. She takes a deep breath and he walks to her feet taking the pen from his pocket he holds it across her big toe on the right foot at the nail and then squeezes. This must be to see how much sensation she has, see if she's truly paralyzed because I imagine that would be pretty painful but Clare doesn't react at all, she can't even feel it and from what she can see it probably looks like the doctor is just examining her feet. "Rich," the doctor says to a nurse who is currently looking at Clare's heart monitor, "call the MRI suite and let's get her in as soon as we can."

"Doctor what is happening to her?" Helen questions after the nurse has left.

"I don't know yet. Rapid onset paralysis is rare, it could be something like Guillain-Barre syndrome however, that usually progresses at a slower rate and follows some kind of infectious illness a…"

"She hasn't had so much as a cold, she's active she hasn't been ill at all," Helen speaks up interrupting the doctor.

"That's one theory that's all, it could be a potassium deficiency or a number of other things. We need to run tests to rule things out, her blood has already been sent to the lab and I will get her in for an MRI. I need to ask Clare a few questions and continue the physical exam, why don't the three of you step out to the waiting area and get her registered and then you can come back," the doctor suggests.

Helen doesn't want to leave the room but Dad and I drag her out. I sit with Helen while Dad gets the registration papers for Clare. He fills them out asking a couple of questions and takes them back to the registration desk. We sit there for a while and Helen begins to get frustrated that we haven't heard anything when the doctor comes out and asks us to follow him. He takes us back to where Clare was but she's not there now.

"Where's my daughter?" Helen demands.

"She just had an MRI she's still in the suite with one of the nurses. We know why Clare can't move her legs, she has a tumor pressing on her sacral plexus, that's the bundle of nerves that provides sensation and mobility to pretty much everything below the waist. The tumor is between her L5 vertebrae and sacrum bone and it's quite large. We need to remove the tumor surgically or it will continue to grow and cause more problems. Once we extract the tumor it will be sent to the lab for a biopsy, there's a chance as with any tumor, that it's cancerous," the doctor tells us and Helen nearly collapses but Dad catches her. "We don't know that it is cancerous yet but you need to be prepared. I also have to warn you as with any surgery there are risks. And with the placement of the tumor this surgery carries significant risks. The surgeon may not be able to remove the entire tumor if it's gone into her spinal cord, or other nerves or lymph nodes and it's always possible that something will go wrong during the surgery."

Helen is too distraught to speak but Dad tells the doctor to remove the tumor. The doctor tells us Clare will be taken directly to surgery and Dad will need to sign some forms. The doctor takes us up two floors to where Clare is having the surgery and shows us to a waiting room. A nurse comes in with some papers which Helen takes and signs before handing them back.

"I have to call Randall, she's his daughter he needs to know. And Darcy, we need to call Darcy, if we can find her," Helen comments.

"I'll call Randall," I volunteer and get up.

I got the number when Clare tried to move out after we broke up. I leave the waiting room and walk outside to make the call, it's before dawn and the early morning night seems so black. After the ambulance left with Clare we all threw on some clothes, I threw on some sweats didn't even grab a coat but somehow the chilled, snowy morning doesn't bother me and the biting of the cold air only reminds me that this is all real and not some terrible nightmare. I get out my phone and look through the contacts until I see the number and click on it. It takes three rings before he answers.

"Hello?" He asks in a groggy voice.

"Mr. Edwards it's Jake, Clare's stepbrother, she's in the hospital in surgery."

"What?" He questions fully awake now. "Where are you?"

"Toronto Western Hospital, the third floor waiting room for the surgery wing."

"I'm on my way."

"Good, um we need to get a hold of Darcy if we can."

"I'll work on it," Randall says before hanging up.

I put my phone in my pocket but stay outside another minute before going inside and back to the waiting room. I tell them that Randall is on his way and he's trying to find and get a hold of Darcy. I sit down and we wait, Randall arrives and hugs Helen then sits next to me. Randall says he called the director of the program Darcy is in and he is getting Darcy sent home and he will be in touch with us about her flight but it could take a couple of days. We wait and we wait and we wait, every hour or so Dad or Randall or myself will ask for an update but they always tell us the same thing; Clare's still in surgery, it's a delicate surgery and someone will come talk to us when they're done. The sun comes up, there's a shift change at the hospital and still nothing, we see an orderly bringing breakfast for other patients on this floor and still no news. It's late in the morning before another doctor comes in to see us.

"I'm Doctor Hamada I performed the surgery and it went well. Clare is stable and being moved into recovery, she'll be unconscious for probably another forty-five minutes to an hour but I'll take you to her room in a few minutes. We successfully removed the tumor however some of the tissue and nerves around the tumor may have suffered permanent damage. We won't know her level of mobility until she's awake, she'll need further testing as well, the tumor was about the size of an apple, that's significant and we had to carefully remove it. The tumor has been growing for a while and we have no way of knowing how long it was pressing on her sacral plexus and if the tumor is malignant it could have spread to her lymph nodes or her dura matter. I don't want you to lose hope, she's young and strong, she came through the surgery well but you need to be prepared for all possible scenarios and know that this isn't over. We'll wait for the biopsy of the tumor that will give Clare a couple of days to recover and then her care team will talk to you about what tests she will need and what to do from here."

We all nod and the doctor takes us back to Clare's room. She's hooked to a heart monitor and has an oxygen tube in her nose but aside from that she mostly looks like she's sleeping. We all sit down and I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing, _"What if the tumor is cancerous? What if she's paralyzed?"_

 **(ADAM)**

"Thanks for the ride Bullfrog I'll see you tomorrow," I smile getting out of Bullfrog's car. I just finished my co-op shift for the day and he dropped me at school on his way home. Bullfrog waves as I get out of the car and go inside, I'm walking to my locker when the bell rings for lunch. I get to my locker and start putting in books when Fitz comes over.

"Hey Adam have you seen Clare this morning? I tried to call her because she's supposed to tutor me at lunch but I haven't heard from her and she's not answering her phone," Fitz tells me.

"That's weird," I remark closing my locker, "let me try." I pull out my phone and call Clare but get no answer. "Let's find Jake, he has a spare this period and usually spends it with Katie," I tell Fitz.

"I saw her in the newspaper office," Fitz says. We start walking to the newspaper office quickly when Dallas and Owen see us.

"Where are you two going in such a hurry?" Dallas asks.

"Looking for Jake," I reply.

"He's not here, he wasn't in homeroom," Dallas informs us and we stop walking.

"I'm calling Jake," I tell them getting my phone out again as a sinking feeling in my stomach begins to grow.

"What's going on?" Owen questions.

"We can't find Clare," Fitz tells them as I click on Jake's name and hold the phone to my ear. It takes a few rings but finally Jake answers.

"Hey Adam," he says with this sad and defeated voice.

"Where are you? Where's Clare?"

"She's in the hospital, she had surgery last night," he tells me and I feel the breath in my lungs freeze.

"For what?" I ask barely able to get the question out.

"She had a tumor in her back," Jake tells me and I feel my knees start to give way, I lean against the wall so I don't sink to the ground.

"Tu…tum…" I can't even get the word out, the thought that my best friend had a tumor is too frightening.

"It might help if you can come down to see her, she's really scared and kind of depressed. The tumor was on her spine or the nerves under it, the tumor might be cancerous and she might be paralyzed still."

"Still?" I squeak out the question in a terror filled tone. "Never mind explain when we get there. We're coming right now," I tell him and hang up.

"What's going on?" Fitz inquires with a terrified look on his face because he knows something is wrong.

"Clare's in the hospital, she had a tumor in her back and they removed it surgically," I inform them.

"I knew something was wrong with her," Dallas comments shaking his head.

"Let's go we'll take my car," Owen remarks and we all beginning running for the doors.

"Hey where are you guys going?" Eli calls after us.

"Eli come on," I yell back and he runs after us without any more questions.

We jump in Owen's car, he and Fitz up front and I sit in back between Dallas and Eli. Dallas sends a text to Drew to tell him where we're all going while I tell Eli that Clare's in the hospital because she had a tumor surgically removed from her back. After that the car is silent, we're all just in shock. I don't know about the others but I'm wondering how she could have a tumor like that and not know, and what will happen to her?

Owen parks at the hospital and we walk in, I text Jake that we're here and he says to take the elevator to the third floor and he'll meet us. So, we get in the elevator and when the doors open on the third floor Jake is waiting for us.

"Hey guys," he greets us but he looks tired and despondent.

"What the hell happened?" Dallas asks.

"Last night I heard a bump in her room and when I went to see if she was okay she was on the floor and told me she couldn't move. She couldn't move her legs, she had no sensation in her feet or legs and I screamed for our parents and Dad called 911. She got an MRI and they found a tumor in her back on the bundle of nerves that basically controls her whole lower half. The tumor was sent for a biopsy to see if it's cancerous but we won't know for a couple of days. Clare woke up from surgery about an hour ago but she's too upset and near hysterics for them to test what kind of mobility and sensation she has. I'm really glad you guys are here hopefully you can help calm her down because we're not having any luck," Jake informs us.

To me it all sounds like very bad, utterly devastating news and I can understand why Clare is near hysterics. Yesterday she was a healthy sixteen-year-old, walking and active and then she wakes up can't move and then she has a large tumor in her back removed by surgery.

We follow Jake back to the room, Clare is curled up and crying in the bed. She has an IV in, a heart monitor and a tube in her nose to help her breathe. Of course, Helen and Glen are in the room but so is Randall.

"These are Clare's friends, you guys know Adam, Eli and Fitz. Fitz this is Clare's dad Randall. And this is Owen and Dallas," Jake introduces us.

"Hi everyone thank you all for coming and being here for Clare," Helen says trying to smile at us.

"Clare," Randall says getting up and going over laying a hand on her arm but she doesn't react, "your friends are here."

She still doesn't react but we all move around to her bed, Fitz and I get around near her head so we can talk to her. Owen and Dallas are at the foot of her bed and Eli sits on the other side.

"Clare," I say putting my hand tenderly on her arm, "I'm here. So is Eli, Dallas, Owen and Fitz. We all came to be with you."

"I know you're scared Clare but you need to let the doctor run some tests and look at you," Fitz encourages.

"We'll all stay with you," Eli adds.

I hear Clare take a deep breath and she moves a little bit. Considering the pillows behind her she must need to stay on her side right now but at least she uncurls, wipes her eyes and looks at all of us.

"I'm too scared, what if I can't move?"

"You're too brave to be scared, where's that stubborn I can do anything attitude?" Eli says trying to be encouraging.

"Clare at least let the doctor look at you, I know you're scared but not knowing is probably worse," Dallas comments.

Clare thinks about it a few seconds before nodding slowly and Randall leaves to go get the doctor. They return a moment later and we all move away from Clare's bed so the doctor can look at her.

"How are you feeling Clare?" The doctor asks.

"I don't know, kind of fuzzy and…" she pauses a second searching for a word but she can't find the right word and shrugs, "sort of numb."

The doctor nods slightly and lifts the covers on Clare's feet, the doctor takes a pen from her jacket pocket and presses the capped end into Clare's foot. We all look at Clare for a reaction but she's just lying there and looks like she's about to cry.

"Can you feel that?" The doctor asks her.

"I…I don't know," Clare sighs, "I mean I feel…I…it…I don't know."

She's getting frustrated and upset, Fitz puts his hand on her shoulder and I take her hand. The doctor moves the blanket up Clare's legs a bit and sort of squeezes her shin and calf.

"How about this?" The doctor questions.

"I don't know," Clare sobs, "I see your hands and in my brain I feel it but I don't know if I'm really feeling it or just trying to convince myself that I do."

Clare just breaks down, sobbing into her pillow and curling up. The doctor pulls the blanket back over her feet and looks at Clare's parents.

"She's too upset right now, too stressed, her brain and body are trying to process too much. I'll let her rest for the night and we'll try again tomorrow when she's had some rest," the doctor says.

"Could she feel it? Is she paralyzed?" Helen asks frantically.

"I don't know, she's scared and trying to process it all right now it's just too much she needs a little time. Meanwhile we'll let her rest, let her get some sleep and wait for the biopsy results to come back."

Helen nods and the doctor leaves the room. Clare won't look at us now she's just sobbing, Eli and Fitz on either side of her stroking her hair and her arm. For a few moments the room is silent aside from the sounds of the equipment and Clare's sobbing.

"You kids should get back to school, there's nothing you can do right now and you can come back after school," Glen says. We all look at Clare but she's just sobbing and I don't think she's going to stop any time soon.

"Yeah, Dallas and I will be back right after practice," Owen speaks up. I'm not sure Clare actually heard him.

"I'll be back right after school Clare," I tell her placing my hand on her arm to say goodbye.

"I'll be back right after school too before my therapy appointment," Eli adds.

"Yeah me too before I have to go to work," Fitz says.

We leave the hospital room with Clare still sobbing, I feel so helpless I want to make her feel better, to comfort her but I can't. All I can do right now is pray that she isn't paralyzed and doesn't have cancer. Owen drives us back to school and we're silent, scared and silent. We get back to school with fifteen minutes of lunch still but not a single one of us is hungry. In fact, we don't even get out of the car for a couple of minutes. When we finally do we walk very slowly into school as one huddled group and when we come through the front doors my brother is there with Bianca.

"How is she?" Drew asks.

"I don't know," I reply and feel like I'm going to break down. Drew hugs me tight and Bianca runs her nails through the back of my hair in comforting manner. I can't help it and I cry into my brother's chest while Owen and Dallas tell them what happened at the hospital.

"We're going back after school," Eli tells them.

"We'll go with you," Drew remarks just as the bell rings.

I suck up the rest of my tears and wipe my eyes. Eli walks with me to my locker before he goes to class. I'm not crying any longer but I know I still look morose when I walk into class.

"Adam what's wrong? You look awful," Alli comments as she, Jenna and Connor sit at their desks near mine.

"Clare's in the hospital," I tell them in a whisper.

"WHAT?!" Alli and Jenna shriek together garnering the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Why is she in the hospital?" Connor asks.

"She had a tumor in her back it was removed last night, I'll explain after class but we're going to see her again after school," I tell them.

"We're coming with you," Jenna says and Alli nods.

I barely pay attention in my afternoon classes, all I can think about is Clare and hoping that she isn't paralyzed. After third period I quickly tell Alli, Jenna and Connor what we know and what happened while we were there at lunch. As soon as fourth period lets out I run for the front doors to get to Clare. Dave and K.C. heard from Fitz and they're both coming to the hospital too. Drew and Bianca meet us at the front doors with Eli, the two of us ride with them in Bianca's car. Dave takes everyone else besides Fitz, he takes his own car and he has work in an hour so he can't stay for very long. We all walk into the hospital together and we go up to Clare's room, she's not crying any more but seems to be asleep so we enter quietly. Jake and Randall are still in the room but Helen and Glen are gone.

"Hey guys, Dad and Helen went to get coffee," Jake remarks holding up his coffee. He looks haggard and worried, totally exhausted but they won't sleep.

"She's been asleep for a couple hours now," Randall tells us looking over the array of Clare's friends that came to support his daughter. I know he recognizes Jenna, Alli, K.C. and Connor, and he already saw me, Eli and Fitz when we came earlier.

"This is my brother Drew and his girlfriend Bianca," I explain to Randall. He just nods slightly and looks back at Clare.

Helen and Glen return after a couple minutes and smile when they see all of us. Fitz has to leave first and Eli leaves soon after Fitz to get to a therapy appointment. The rest of us stay for about an hour but Clare stays asleep and the doctor tells everyone to go home. Her family doesn't want to leave her alone even with the doctor's assurances that they will be called if anything at all changes.

"I'll stay. You should get home and sleep at least for a few hours," I assert.

"I'm picking up Darcy later tonight I should probably get home to sleep for a bit," Randall agrees.

"Come on we won't be any use to Clare if we're falling asleep and to see us so tired and stressed out will probably just stress her out more," Glen insists to Helen and Jake.

Slowly and reluctantly her parents and Jake leave. Jenna, Connor, Alli, Dave and K.C. also leave, Dave will take them home. Now it's just me, Drew and Bianca in the room and I take a seat in the chair closest to Clare's bed.

"You guys can go home, tell Mom I'm staying here. Dallas and Owen are coming after practice and I'll come home with Dallas if her family is back," I tell them. Drew and Bianca hug me before leaving. I sit in the chair trying to do homework until Clare begins to stir, she opens her eyes and I smile at her. "How do you feel? What can you feel?" I ask her.

"I don't know," she whispers in answer to both questions.

"Everyone was here earlier. Eli, Fitz, Alli, Jenna, Connor, Dave, K.C. and even Drew and Bianca came to see you. But you were sleeping so everyone left, well Eli had to get to his appointment and Fitz to work. The doctor forced your parents and Jake to go home but I can call them and have them come back if you want them here," I offer.

"No, not right now. Mom keeps looking at me like I'm going to die and it's not helping," Clare says.

I reach out and squeeze her hand in mine, "You're not going to die Clare."

 **(DALLAS)**

"What the hell is with you two? That practice sucked," Luke gripes when we get back into the locker room.

"We know but we had something else on our mind," Owen growls back.

"What is more important than hockey?" Luke asks.

"Clare's in the hospital after surgery to remove a tumor from her back last night, we don't know if the tumor is cancerous and she could be paralyzed just because of the damage it's already done," I reply. The locker room goes quiet and everyone looks at us.

"Is that where you guys went at lunch?" Cam asks.

"Yeah and that's where we're going as soon as we leave here," I reply.

Owen and I change quickly, we don't even shower just dress and run out to his car. He drives us back to the hospital and we go to Clare's room. The only one in here is Adam, he appears to be doing homework while Clare stares blankly out the window.

"You have company," Adam tells her and she looks over at us.

"Hey Distract-Friend how you feeling?" I ask her.

"I don't know," she shakes her head.

"Have you tried moving at all?" Owen questions.

"I can't, I'm too afraid that I won't be able to move," she says and tears begin rolling down her cheeks.

This talk is making her sad and I'm sure it's all she's talked about or thought about all day. Owen seems to have the same thought as he sits at the foot of her bed with a grin on his face.

"You know the school's IQ drops by a good 20 points when you're not around," Owen jokes and Clare giggles a little.

Owen has the right idea, what Clare needs now is laughter, to remember how to smile. We spend the next hour telling her jokes, a lot of very corny stupid ones but she laughs at all of them and by the time the doctor comes in with some food Clare's in a brighter mood.

"Well a smile is good to see. I brought you some dinner Clare and it's time for your friends to go home, visiting hours are over and you need some rest," the doctor insists.

"Call us if you need anything," Owen tells her hugging her goodbye.

"I'll come by in the morning before school, and at lunch and after school," Adam assures her.

"Yeah me too, and really call us if you need anything," I say. Adam and I hug her too and leave with Owen, he drops us at home and we wave before walking inside.

"It's just awful about Clare," Audra comments hugging Adam tightly as soon as we're in the door. "I called Helen and told her if she needs anything to let us know."

"How's Clare?" Drew asks as we sit down to eat dinner.

"We told her a lot of jokes to get her to laugh but she either couldn't move or wouldn't, she didn't either way, not her lower half. I told her I'd go back tomorrow before school," Adam responds.

We talk about Clare through most of dinner and after dinner the three of us have homework. It's hard to concentrate on my homework but I do finish. I start to get ready for bed when I hear my text alert and look at my phone.

 **Clare: Can you come back? I need to tell you something.**

 **Dallas: On my way.**

I get my shoes on and leave quietly taking my car which is parked on the street. I text Dew that Clare asked me to come back to the hospital so that's where I'll be if anyone notices I'm missing. He texts me back but I don't see it until I'm at the hospital, he just says to tell Clare hi.

"Can you move? Can you not move?" I ask as soon as I'm in her hospital room. It's past visiting hours but I was able to sneak in.

"It's not about that," Clare replies moving her bed so she can sit up and I sit down in the chair next to her bed. "It's about Asher," she confesses and I tense up. "After he apologized and I went back," she pauses briefly a breath hitching in her throat and she bites her lip. "At first it was great but when we got back to his car and I was raving about how I wanted to fast forward to this place and be a journalist and he touched my cheek. He tried to unbutton my blouse and I got scared, I knew what he wanted, he told me no one had to know," she confesses and a tear begins to creep down her cheek. "I tried to get out of the car but the door was locked and I couldn't open it. I got the door open and got out as fast as I could and he told me that if I cared about my career that I'd keep my mouth shut."

"That fucking pedophile bastard I'll kill him," I growl and Clare reaches out taking my hand.

"I was going to tell you and Owen the next morning but," she remarks looking around the hospital room.

"We'll take care of Asher and I'm glad you told me now even with all you're going through," I assure her and she gives a small but very appreciative smile.

"Will you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep, I could really use my Distract-Friend right now," Clare requests.

"Of course," I grin.

"Tell me something, tell me about Rocky," she insists.

I never have trouble talking about my son and after about an hour of listening to me she falls asleep. I let go of her hand and get up but I don't leave, I just sit in the chair against the wall, across from her bed, it folds out a little and I intend on sleeping here. In fact, I fall asleep almost immediately but wake up sometime later when I hear the door to Clare's room open. I expect a nurse or a doctor or possibly an orderly but instead I see a girl come in, a few years older than Clare with straight red hair that looks like it's on fire with the light of the hallway behind it compared to the darkness of Clare's room.

"Who are you?" The girl snaps at me as she closes the door but she does both quietly so as not to wake Clare.

"Who are you?" I ask back.

"I asked first," she replies.

"Mike Dallas, I'm Clare's Distract-Friend."

"What's a Distract-Friend?" The girl questions walking into the room and sitting by Clare's bed.

"It's a long story, now who are you?"

"Darcy," she responds.

"Ah the wayward sister," I grin.

"I wasn't wayward I went to Africa to atone. So now tell me what is a Distract-Friend?" Darcy questions.

I explain how the whole things started with our distraction date. Darcy is very proud when she hears her sister has two boys pining for her. I tell her a little about Rocky and then she starts telling me about the things she's done in Africa. I don't even realize we've been talking for hours until Clare wakes up and I see that it's now light outside.

"Darcy?" Clare asks hearing her sister's voice.

"Hi Baby Sister," Darcy smiles kissing her cheek.

Clare smiles and then looks at me, "You're still here."

"I promised I'd stay. I slept for a bit and then your sister came in, she and I began talking and guess we talked the rest of the night. I should probably get home and shower before school. I'll come by at lunch with Owen at least," I tell Clare waving before I leave.

I hear her talking to Darcy as I go down the hall and I hope that having her sister here gets her more relaxed, and that she can move today. I do go home, Audra is not happy when I come through the door at six in the morning but I tell her Clare needed me and she relaxes. I shower and eat breakfast, Drew and Adam go to the hospital to see Clare but I head to school waiting in the snow on the steps for Owen. When he comes up the steps I take him to the prop room so we can talk in private.

"Hey we need to kill Asher, he tried to rape Clare in his car the other night and then threatened her. She told me last night," I inform him.

"And now he's a walking dead man," Owen agrees punching his fist into his hand.

"I think some more of the team might help, maybe Drew too," I remark.

"Don't worry," Owen smiles, "I know some guys who can help."

 **The update will probably pick up in Clare's pov and will also include Owen, Dallas and few others teaching Asher a lesson.**


	9. Girl with the Blue Eyed Tears

**Announcement regarding Short Stories: I'm taking the number of revolving short stories down from 5 to 4, and eventually to 3. The reason being without a short story chapter a week, and most especially without the aid of short story months any longer the short stories are not moving fast enough. One shots, practically with chapters of 2 & 3 shots going up consecutively, and long stories now that they're getting nice long chapters are moving at a good pace and coming off the list at a good pace. Short stories are not and the time between chapters for each short story are too long! So I will not be replacing Light in a World of Dark with anything so there are now four short stories in rotation. When the next one ends there will then be three short stories in rotation which will mean less time between chapters for each short story and they should be moving at a better pace.**

 **New pics are up there is now 130 stories represented in picture in the 200 stories gallery on the DeGrassi Saviors Website.**

 **Guest reviewers please remember to check my profile page for a response. Mary and Olivia please see my profile page for questions on your requests.**

 **Ch. 9 Girl with the Blue Eyed Tears**

 **(DARCY)**

"…it's very rewarding to see what we accomplish. It's hard work bu…"

"Darcy?" Clare questions cutting me off as I'm telling Dallas about building housing in a small Kenyan village. Hearing my little sister's voice I turn my head to smile at her and take her hand.

"Hi Baby Sister," I greet her kissing her cheek. Clare smiles before looking at Dallas.

"You're still here," Clare says with a grateful relief when she sees Dallas.

"I promised I'd stay. I slept for a bit and then your sister came in, she and I began talking and guess we talked the rest of the night. I should probably get home and shower before school. I'll come by at lunch with Owen at least," Dallas tells her and then waves to the both of us before leaving.

"You talked all night with Dallas?" Clare asks cocking an eyebrow with an impish grin.

"It just sort of happened. He introduced himself as your Distract-Friend and I wanted to know what that was. So he told me all about your distraction date and how your friendship started and I was talking about Africa and we just didn't realize so much time had passed. Enough about me I hear you're dating two boys?"

"Yeah the problem is choosing, I like them both so much and I don't think I can date the two of them much longer. Although if I do have cancer I may not have to choose," she sighs.

"You don't think they'd both dump you if you have cancer do you? From what Dallas told me they have been fighting pretty hard for you."

"They have, and I don't think they'd just totally walk away we'd remain friends and I'm sure they'd come by and see me like my other friends but who wants to date a dying girl, or one who can't walk," Clare says with a melancholy tone and her eyes fill with tears.

"Clare don't talk like that you're not dying and Dad says they don't know that you're still paralyzed yet. You were too agitated the last time they tried to test. Don't lose hope sis," I encourage her squeezing her hand.

She nods but tears start to fall from her eyes and she turns her head to cry into the pillow. I hold her and stroke her hair, not much else I can do and I hate this helpless feeling. Clare and I have never been super close, our personalities are so different and we're three years apart. When we were really young I used to dress her up and play with her like she was my personal doll. From about the time I was five and Clare was two until I was about twelve and she was nine we would play and got on pretty well, and then she just became the annoying little sister. I was interested in boys, fashion and cheerleading and dying to get out of our strict school and Clare wanted nothing more than to be the smartest and know everything. We started drifting apart in lot of ways but I would always protect her. When I found out she was in the hospital after surgery and was paralyzed, possibly permanently and worse that she might have cancer, I felt like I should have been here to protect her. I hate watching her and being so helpless, I really wish I could tell her it's all going to be fine. She cries for a while and all I can do is hold her hand and stroke her hair. When she hears someone else coming she wipes her eyes and looks at the door just as an orderly comes in with a tray.

"Breakfast," the orderly says putting the tray on her rolling tray.

"Thanks," Clare says quietly. She moves like she's trying to sit up but she struggles with it. Then she presses the button that makes her bed move up. It's not until she starts eating that I realize how long it's been since I've eaten. Dad picked me up and took me to his place but I wasn't hungry and when I couldn't sleep I asked to borrow his car and came to the hospital.

"Will you be okay for a few minutes? I'm going to find the cafeteria and get some food I haven't eaten since yesterday but I'll be right back," I tell Clare.

"I'll be fine," Clare replies forcing a small smile to her lips to assure me.

I smile back and leave her room, I start walking down the hall although not really sure of where I'm headed. I don't get very far before the emotions take over and I can't walk anymore. I find a dark room without a name on the door and duck inside, leaning against the door I sink down and cry. Letting out everything I've been holding in since I first heard Clare was in surgery. After a few minutes I compose myself, wipe my tears and stand up leaving the room. I ask a nurse where the cafeteria is and she tells me how to find it. I get coffee and a muffin and sit down, I eat pretty quickly returning to Clare's room and find Mom, Glen, Jake and Dad in her room too. She's done eating and Mom is telling Clare that everyone at church is praying for her. Clare smiles at me when I come back in, all the chairs are filled so I lean against the wall. Mom is still talking when a doctor comes in.

"Good morning everyone, I'm Dr. Locane. How are you feeling today Clare?"

"Okay I guess," Clare replies quietly.

"I know you've had breakfast so if you feel up to it I'd like to test your mobility again. I see from Dr. Pearl's notes that the tests yesterday were inconclusive because you were too upset. Do you feel up to trying again?" The doctor asks. Clare looks at all of us and we all nod or smile with encouragement so Clare nods. "Very good, okay family you can be in the room but I'm going to have you move back from Clare's bed," Dr. Locane says and our parents move away from her bed. "I want you to close your eyes and tell me if you feel me touching you and where. I'm not going to ask you if you feel it if you feel something then you tell me."

"Okay," Clare nods before closing her eyes.

"Alright Clare I'm going to start remember to tell me if you feel me touching you and where."

Clare nods and the doctor touches both of Clare's shins through the blankets. We all look at Clare hoping she says something but she says nothing and the doctor removes her hands. Next the doctor touches Clare's stomach, laying one hand on the blanket on Clare's stomach. Clare can't lie on her back all the way because of the surgery but she's propped up with pillows to keep her mostly on her side.

"You're touching my stomach, I can feel that."

"Good Clare," the doctor smiles removing her hand and then pulling the blankets from Clare's feet up above her knees. Dr. Locane touches the bottom of Clare's feet and Clare says nothing. Dr. Locane then touches Clare's knee and Clare says nothing. The doctor then moves the blanket again, this time lifting it off Clare's hip and she touches her hip.

"I feel that you're touching my hip but…" Clare's sentence trails off and I see her biting her lip.

"But what Clare?"

"I only feel half your hand."

"Okay you can open your eyes," the doctor says and Clare does so. "I'm going to push on the bottom of your foot and I want you to push back as hard as you can," the doctor tells her and Clare nods. Dr. Locane moves to the foot of Clare's bed and with the way Clare is lying Dr. Locane pushes on her top foot. We see the doctor's hand moving Clare's foot but Clare isn't pushing back. I look at her and I see Clare struggling, concentrating and trying to move her foot but she cant. I find myself moving my own foot, such a simple thing that for most people takes no effort or concentration it's second nature but Clare can't do it and she breaks into tears.

"I can't," Clare cries turning her head into the pillow.

"Okay Clare I know this is scary but the fights not over yet. Right now I want you to rest, I'm going to look over your tests and speak with some colleagues and I'll be back in a little while."

The doctor leaves the room and we all go back to surrounding Clare's bed. She cries for a bit and then just stares at the hospital bed sheet, fingering it between her thumb and forefinger. We try to be encouraging, looking between each other for something to say to make her feel better but it seem like she's paralyzed and what is there to say? While we all desperately search for something to say the door opens and another doctor comes in. A somewhat salty looking older man in his fifties or sixties with white hair and glasses.

"Good morning I'm Dr. Jarvis, the neurologist specialist at the hospital, Dr. Locane and Dr. Pearl asked me to do a consult. You're surgery was a success but you're still unable to move or feel any sensation below your waist is that right?"

"Yes, well it starts sort of halfway around my hips," Clare nods wiping the tears from her eyes.

"The tumor was removed successfully but it was in a sensitive area and the tumor was growing for a while. It definitely did some nerve damage and some possible spinal cord damage. I don't want to do a CT just yet though. The good news is that it's possible that you will get some sensation and mobility back if we can train your brain to learn to move your legs in a new way. We're still waiting on the pathology from the tumor so until we know if it was cancerous or not we'll stave off treatment and physical therapy. I'm going to do a physical exam of my own if that's okay," the doctor tells Clare and she nods.

The doctor does his exam, using a few different tools to try and get Clare to react to sensations on her legs and feet, all the way to her hips but she never shows that she feels it until he gets about halfway up her hip bone. He moves her legs and feet and tries to get her to move them back but she can't. He even twists her ankle in what seems like it would be a painful way but Clare doesn't react and when she doesn't move it back on her own the doctor moves it back. Like Dr. Locane Dr. Jarvis agrees that she's paralyzed from the waist down but tells us again that she may be able to get some mobility back. Clare like the rest of us pretty much just hears that she'll never walk again. When the doctor leaves Clare turns her head into the pillow to hide, she doesn't cry this time but I don't think she has any tears left. We sit there silently, Mom and I hold Clare's hands it's all we can do right now. It's devastating news for anyone to know that you're paralyzed and then Dr. Locane comes back in the room and she does not have a good look on her face.

"I have the results of the tumor biopsy back and it was malignant, Clare you're in stage two group three of rhabdomyosarcoma a form of leukemia," the doctor tells us and Clare goes entirely pale while my heart stops. "We're going to keep you here for another couple of days while you heal from the surgery more and then you're going to be transferred to Princess Margaret Cancer Centre. I'll give you all some time, I'm going to consult with Dr. Jarvis and call the cancer hospital. I'll be back later to talk about treatment."

The doctor leaves the room and Clare breaks into a torrent of tears, burying her head in her pillow as she sobs. Mom reaches her hand out to touch Clare's arm and try to comfort her but then Mom also breaks into tears. Dad is crying too and Glen is holding Mom, he's not crying but he looks devastated as does Jake. I want to be here for Clare but I've been at the hospital since three this morning and this day just keeps getting more depressing and terrible. I need some air and I get an idea.

"Clare's friends should be told, I know some of them were planning to come see her after school," I speak up.

"Yeah good idea I'll come with you," Jake says. He looks a little green I'm sure he needs some air too. "We'll be back in a bit," Jake comments and his dad nods that he heard us.

Jake and I walk out to Dad's car and I drive us to DeGrassi. It's a silent and awkward ride, this is not how I thought I'd be seeing Jake again after so many years. We played together as kids at the lake, he was kind of obnoxious but I didn't make it out to the wedding and it's really meeting him again after so many years of not seeing each other. I have seen him over a computer screen during one of my rare video calls home but we never said much to each other. Now we're are together but because of something so devastating and it's like neither of us has anything to say that isn't about Clare.

It's lunch time at DeGrassi but it's cold and January and no one is eating outside so we go into the building. It feels so odd to be back here and I wish desperately that I was back here under better circumstances.

"I don't know where everyone is eating but we should probably tell Simpson anyway and he can page them," Jake comments after we stand in the entry for a moment. I nod and we walk to the office, Simpson is at the secretary's desk talking with her but stops when he sees us.

"Jake, Darcy how's Clare?"

"Not good, can you page Adam, Owen, Dallas, Eli and Fitz to your office please. We want to tell everyone at once," Jake tells him.

Simpson nods to the secretary and she pages everyone to the office. Within a few minutes they all walk quickly to us and a few people that were not paged follow them. I recognize Sav's little sister and Clare's first boyfriend although I forget their names at the moment.

"What's going on?"

"There's news on Clare isn't there? Is she okay?"

"Can she move?"

"Did her biopsy come back?"

Her friends all talk at once and I exchange a look with Jake and we shake our heads.

"She is paralyzed and the tumor was cancerous she has rhabdo…rhabdomy…a form of leukemia. She'll be in the hospital a couple more days to recover from the surgery more and then she'll get checked into the cancer hospital. She's really worried and sad, she needs her friends right now more than ever," I tell them and it's deathly silent.

Some people have gone pale, others are petrified by shock, Sav's little sister and the blonde girl are crying. Even Simpson looks ill at the news. A boy with sandy brown hair and freckles, whom I remember from a picture Clare sent me in an e-mail, looks like he might pass out. The boy next to him, tall with short dark hair and dark blue eyes, is holding him up. Dallas is pale, clenching his fists and his eyes glossed with saltwater.

"We'll be over right after school," Dallas comments after a moment of silence.

"Yeah all of us," says a boy with longer dark hair and green eyes. I've seen pictures of him in Clare's e-mails too I just can't remember his name right now.

"Please tell Clare we're all thinking of her. I'll inform all of her teachers and tell yours that you may not be back this week Jake," Simpson tells him.

"Thanks," Jake nods just as the bell rings.

"I've got a spare right now, I'm coming to see Clare now," Dallas speaks up.

"Yeah I've got a spare too I'm coming with you," the boy with long dark hair and green eyes says.

"Okay Dallas and Eli back in time for fourth period, the rest of you get to class," Simpson says to the others while we leave with Dallas and Eli.

Jake and I get back in Dad's car, drive to the hospital and park. We go back up to Clare's room, she and Mom are still crying, Dad just looks lost and devastated and Glen is holding Mom with a mournful and helpsless look on his face.

"We just came back from DeGrassi, Simpson said to tell you they're all thinking of you. All your friends will come see you after school but Dallas and Eli are on their way right now," Jake tells Clare.

She sort of nods, wipes her eyes and puts her bed up a little so she's able to greet her visitors. Jake and I sit at the back of the room near Dad, just after we sit down Dallas and Eli come in the room.

"Hey Edwards," Eli smiles at her.

"Hi Distract-Friend," Dallas grins at her.

"Hi," she replies with a smile she managed to paint on her lips.

"We heard the news. Don't worry you're going to be just fine," Dallas tires to assure her.

"But I won't, I can't walk and I have cancer," she replies sharply but with a sad tone and the tears start rolling down her cheeks again.

"You're strong Clare you'll beat the cancer, what did the doctor say?" Eli asks.

"I'm paralyzed from the waist down and I have cancer, stage two group three rhabdomyosarcoma. I'll be here for two more days and then to the cancer hospital for treatment, I probably won't be back at school," Clare tells them wiping the tears from her face.

"You'll be okay Clare, you can fight the cancer but not if you lose hope," Eli encourages her again.

"Yeah I know you can do it and we'll all be there to help you fight. We'll bring you books and movies, and visit all the time so you don't get bored and to keep your spirits up," Dallas assures her and she smiles a little.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. It's all I've thought about all morning," she replies after a moment.

No one else is talking because everyone is thinking about Clare being sick and partially paralyzed. After a moment of silence Eli begins talking about his play and then Dallas talks about hockey until they have to leave. I'm not entirely sure that it gets Clare's mind off of things but she's not crying anymore and she even smiles a couple of times. Dallas and Eli leave with enough time to get back for fourth period but both assure her that they'll be back right after school.

"I'm tired," Clare says after Dallas and Eli leave.

"We'll let you rest Clare. We have arrangements to make and people to call. We'll be back later," Glen comments.

"Do you want any of us to stay?" I ask Clare.

"Will you stay? Jake too, I'm just going to sleep but I can't take everyone being sad right now," she replies in a whisper I think so that Mom doesn't hear her.

"Yeah we'll stay," I reply and Jake nods.

"I'll go with your mom and Glen there's some things we need to work out and then I should go home but I'll be back later if I can. Otherwise I'll be back tomorrow and call me if you need anything," Dad tells her and she nods.

Dad borrowed Elaine's car and just says to bring his back tonight. The adults leave, Clare turns a bit so that she's lying on her side and her eyes close. She falls asleep after a short time and Jake turns on the TV, we're not really watching it's just on so that there's noise and something to watch besides Clare.

 **(CLARE)**

I was having a dream about not being able to walk again, being confined to a wheelchair and then withering away and dying of cancer when I wake to sounds in my room. My eyes open and I can feel my cheeks wet with tears. I hear voices in my room and I know that school must be out, the only one I can see right now though is Mark because he sits on the edge of my bed.

"There's those beautiful blue eyes," he grins softly and wipes the tears away. "Can I help you move so you can see everyone?" Mark asks.

"I'll move the bed up first," I reply smiling because I'm happy to see him and that everyone came.

I press the button to make the bed sit up. I still can't see many people lying on my side and this side is starting to hurt, I've been lying on it since last night I'll have to ask the nurses to help me move when people leave. I use my hands to push me up a little and turn my waist to better see people, I still can't quite see everyone but they move around so that I can. Jake and Darcy are still here, Eli sits on the other side of my bed with Adam, Dallas sits next to Darcy, Owen leans against the wall, Jenna, Alli, Connor, Dave and K.C. are all sitting or leaning against the wall. Even Drew and Bianca are here, he sits in a chair and she's on his lap.

"How do you f…" Alli starts to ask how I feel then thinks better of it. "Sav wanted me to tell you hi," she says and I smile a little. For a few minutes the room is quiet as people try to think of something to say.

"Anything new from the doctor?" Dallas asks.

"No, no one's been in here since you and Eli left and our parents went home," Darcy answers for me.

"Is there anything we can bring you?" Jenna asks me.

"For now I guess just things to keep me from getting bored. When they move me into the cancer hospital I might want more."

"Anything you want at all we'll get it for you," Adam assures me.

"Yeah and there's no way we'll let you get bored," Owen says.

"I'm going to have my birthday in the hospital," I sniffle as the tears start again. I can't help it a couple of days ago I was active, walking and as far as I knew pretty healthy. I knew something was off, that the way I got dizzy and the pains, tingling and numbness in my back and legs wasn't normal but I never expected it to be a tumor and cancer! Now I can't move anything below the lower part of my hips and in a couple of days I have to get moved to a cancer hospital for treatment.

"We'll make sure you have a fantastic birthday Clare, no matter what," Alli tries to assure me.

"Yeah we'll talk to the hospital staff and make sure you have an amazing birthday with all of us and anyone else you want there," Jenna says.

"It'll be okay Clare. The doctors at Princess Margaret's are like the best in all of Toronto," K.C. comments.

It goes quiet again, no one seems sure what to say after that. When the silence becomes too much people just begin talking, about school and classes mostly. The room goes silent again when the doctor comes in.

"We've got quite a full room but I'm going to have to ask you all to leave while we put Clare through one more test," Dr. Jarvis says.

"Okay," Darcy nods.

"I'll be back in a few minutes Clare," Dr. Jarvis remarks before leaving the room.

"We'll be back Jake and I are going to grab something to eat," Darcy tells me.

"Owen and I skipped practice, with the coaches permission after we told him what was going, but I'll check on you later tonight we have something we need to do," Dallas informs me.

"The rest of us should probably get home but if you need anything call us," Adam says and everyone nods.

"Thanks," I smile as much as I can.

Mark and Eli both kiss me before they leave. Adam, Alli, Jenna, Dallas, Jake and Darcy hug me before leaving and the others smile sympathetically. The room seems so quiet after everyone leaves even though the sounds of the monitors are still going. Dr. Jarvis returns with an assistant and tray with a terrifying looking needle on it, also some medicine or something in a vile.

"Alright Clare, we need to do a lumbar puncture to look at your spinal fluid. It's very important that we find out if the cancer cells have spread to your spinal column or effected your meninges. Nurse Holly is going to help you into a curled position," the doctor says. They both help me to my other side, and it does feel good to be lying on my left side, then the nurse helps me curl my legs up so that my spine curves. "I'm going above your surgical incision Clare, don't worry the suture is holding, nothing will pop and I'm watching it. Is it painful at all?"

"No."

"Okay I'm going to surround the area for the puncture with sterile towels and clean it. I'll numb the area and tell you when I'm going to do the puncture."

"Okay."

"Good, I'm cleaning the area now the soap might feel a bit cold," the doctor says and I feel the cold of the soap drawing circles on my back. "Okay you might feel a pinch while I give you the anesthetic," he tells me and then I feel a poke and a little more cold as the medication takes effect. "You're doing great Clare, now take a deep breath for me and then hold very still while I insert the needle."

"Okay," I reply and take a deep breath.

"Alright Clare I'm inserting the needle now," the doctor tells me. I feel another pinch and then it's just sort of cold. "You're doing great Clare we're almost done," he says. I feel the needle coming out and then a bandage being placed on my back. "We're all finished Clare, you might get a back ache and will probably feel tired, if you have any trouble sleeping in the next couple of days we can give you something. If you do feel back pain or a headache let us know right away. Some people experience these and they usually go away but we need to keep an eye on them. We'll be checking on you of course but if you get chills or a stiff neck alert us immediately. Right now you should rest, someone will be in to check on you soon."

I nod and the nurse straightens my legs again, she asks if I'm comfortable, I nod and she leaves with the doctor. I close my eyes, I feel exhausted and hopeless, I can't walk, I have cancer and now they're worried it's spread to my brain. I start to cry as all I can think is that I'm going to die. A few days ago I didn't even really feel sick but now every time a doctor comes in, or there's another test, or more news it just seems to be more bad news and I'm feeling sicker and sicker and more and more like I'm going to die.

 **(DALLAS)**

"So who are these guys that are helping us?" I ask Owen as we walk out to secluded part of the ravine after leaving Clare's hospital room.

"You've probably seen Spinner at The Dot, he used to date Clare's sister," Owen tells me as we get out and start walking.

"Darcy?"

"Yeah in his senior year but don't worry he's no competition he married his real high school sweetheart," Owen grins.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I refute.

"Yeah right, I saw you and Darcy exchanging flirty glances this afternoon," Owen laughs and I push him playfully. We come into a clearing and there's four faces lit by a small fire in thrown together fire pit.

"Well 'bout time you two got here we've been waiting," one of the guys says.

"Dallas I believe you know Spinner," Owen remarks and I do recognize Fitz's boss from The Dot I just never knew his name was Spinner.

"This is Johnny and that's Lucas, they used to hang around Fitz," Owen tells me and I nod hello to the two.

"And this is Jay," Spinner says introducing me to the oldest guy here.

"Nice to meet you, thanks for coming," I reply.

"Owen said this was about Clare, Fitz told me she's in the hospital after a tumor and now she has cancer. I'm assuming we're not here because she's in the hospital," Spinner comments.

"In a sense that's why. Clare had co-op this semester and was working with Asher Shostak, she was thrilled about it but started getting worried about his behavior when he held her a little too long after she felt dizzy. A few days later he kissed her, we found out and wanted to kill him but she stopped us, she wanted to talk to him first. She came back to school happy and told us it was a mistake so we let it slide. It was only the next day we found out she was in the hospital and possible paralyzed. She called me back last night and told me that after Asher told her it was mistake and took her with him on an assignment he tried to assault her in his car," I'm telling them when Jay cuts me off.

"So we're going to kill him now."

"That's the plan but we need to make sure he can't identify us. Here black hoodies, all the same we all wear them," Owen says pulling them from the bag. We bought them after school before going to the hospital.

"Yeah and goalie masks," I tell them taking them from the bag.

"Sweet I'm Jason Voorhies," Jay grins putting his mask on.

"Keep them off for now. If Asher isn't still at work we won't do this tonight. I'll call the Interpreter office and see if Asher is still working," Owen tells them and walks away a bit getting out his cell to call the office.

"So is Clare really paralyzed?" Johnny asks while we wait for Owen.

"Yeah from about the waist down although the doctor did say that she might be able to regain some mobility. They just don't know how much damage was done by the tumor and what the cancer has done or will do, or the treatment for it. And she's really scared and worried, bordering on depressed but it's understandable, she was walking and basically healthy a couple of days ago."

"We'll all go see her. I made it through cancer, so will she," Spinner says just as Owen comes back.

"Asher's still there let's go," Owen tells us.

We all start walking back to Owen's car quickly, while we walk we put our black hoodies on taking off all coats. We get in the car and Owen starts driving to The Interpreter building, he parks near the garage and we wait in the narrow alley between the garage in the building and one of the few places without a security camera. Jay calls up this time to see if Asher is still there and make sure that we didn't miss him as we were driving over.

"Secretary says he's just on his way out," Jay tells us hanging up.

We all get on the goalie masks so he can't identify us. As soon as we see him Owen grabs him by the jacket and pulls him into the alley. We surround Asher and shove him into the wall.

"If you're after money I don't have any," he says and his voice trembles with fear.

"We don't want your money," Lucas snarls at him.

"This is about keeping your hands and lips off your interns," I growl shoving him into the wall again.

"She's lying," Asher growls in angry defensive tone.

With those pathetic words from his lying mouth our anger takes over and we start hitting. Punching and kicking his head, chest and stomach and we don't stop until he slumps down with a groan and coughs up some blood.

"If we find out you mistreated anyone else we'll be back," Johnny tells him and we walk off.

We're back in the car and driving off before Asher gets up. We take the goalie masks off once we're in the car, everyone but Owen also takes off their hoodies and gets their jackets back on.

"You think he learned anything?" Johnny asks.

"I think the next time he thinks about touching a young intern he'll think about all the pain he was in tonight and think again," Owen replies.

"Hey is it too late to see Clare?" Spinner questions.

"We can probably get in, at least to say hi," I respond.

"As long as she's not sleeping but the hospital is close so we can stop there before I take you guys back to your cars," Owen comments.

Owen parks at the hospital and we go in through emergency because it will look less suspicious at this hour. Technically visiting hours are over but we manage to sneak through the halls to Clare's room. I peek in and the room is empty of anyone else, Clare does seem to be sleeping but her eyes open when the light comes in from the door. She's lying on her other side now they must have turned her.

"Hey Distract-Friend you up for some visitors?" I whisper to her and she smiles.

"We just wanted to come by and say hi," Owen tells her as we come in.

"And tell you that we took care of Asher," Spinner says.

"Johnny, Jay, Spinner, Lucas what you guys doing here?" Clare asks surprised to see them.

"We heard what happened and we wanted to see you," Spin says kissing her cheek. "I made it through cancer and chemo and so will you."

"And Asher will never touch you again," Jay assures her kissing her forehead.

"We made sure of it and he won't be able to identify us. It's good to see you again Clare," Johnny smiles kissing her cheek as well.

"You look a lot different than I remember," Lucas comments kissing her lips.

"Hey hey hey she's already got two boys fighting for her don't your start," I scold him and Clare laughs a little.

"You haven't seen me in three years," she reminds Lucas.

"So how you feelin'? What test did they do this afternoon?" I inquire.

"A lumbar puncture to test the spinal fluid for cancer cells, if it spread to the spinal fluid it could have spread to my brain," she laments in a sad and terrified voice.

"Don't worry kid you'll be just fine," Jay tells her with an assuring smile and she nods although doesn't look like she believes it.

"You'll beat this Clare and we'll all do whatever we can to help. We should probably get going before they find us here, it's a little past visiting hours. You should rest anyway, if you need anything call you know we'll come," I tell Clare.

"I will," she says.

"We'll be back," Owen tells her and everyone else nods.

We say goodnight to Clare and leave the hospital, driving Spinner and the others back to their cars and then Owen drops me at home. I say goodnight to Owen and go inside. Drew and Adam are still doing homework and I realize I haven't even started on mine.

"Where did you and Owen go?" Drew asks.

"With Spinner from The Dot and some guys Owen knows to beat the crap out of Clare's co-op boss for kissing and then trying to assault her in his car," I inform them and both their eyes go wide.

"She didn't tell me about Asher," Adam finally says.

"She only told me about the attempted assault last night and we took care of it. I gotta start on homework, is there dinner still I'm starving."

"Yeah on the stove," Adam tells me.

I go upstairs to get some dinner and return to the basement to do homework. It's hard to concentrate because I spend most of the time thinking about what Clare's going through and what we did to Asher tonight. It's almost two in the morning by the time I'm in bed, it takes a while to get to sleep but I spend the whole night happily dreaming about Darcy.

 **Update soon will have some more Dallas and Darcy and probably include Clare being moved to the cancer hospital.**

 **Next story to get updated will be _I Need Your Love much more than I Want it_.**


	10. But Somehow When You Smile

**Be sure to check out all 140 Stories on the 200 Stories Gallery, on my page of the DeGrassi Saviors Website. I will hopefully have another ten up sometime next week.**

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 **Ch. 10 But Somehow When You Smile**

 **(DALLAS)**

"So Clare's co-op mentor is in the hospital after being beaten last night," Adam comments when we're in my car on the way to school.

"Yeah? Where'd you hear that?" I shrug and Drew looks at me.

"It was a news bulletin I got on my phone this morning. They said the six assailants were wearing hockey masks. He was Clare's mentor and you're on the hockey team, and he gets the crap beat out of him the night after Clare went into the hospital. You can't tell me that's a coincidence," Adam comments with a suspicious tone.

"Did you and the hockey team beat up Asher for a reason?" Drew questions.

"Actually only Owen was with me, the rest were people that Owen knew and yes we did. Asher is a creep, he kissed Clare and told her it was a mistake then he tried to assault her in his car," I inform them.

"She never told me that," Adam replies.

"I'm not sure she would have told anyone except that Owen and I found her after the kiss. She was just standing on the street staring into space. We picked her up and we coaxed it out of her, I think she was still in shock. Owen and I wanted to go and kill him right then but Clare told us no, she was sure it was a mistake and wanted to go talk to him first. After we dropped her off Owen told me that she told him she'd almost passed out at work and Asher caught her, but he held onto her a little too long and it made her uncomfortable. When we saw her the next day she told us that he said the kiss was a mistake and everything was fine. He assaulted her that night, she also went to the hospital that night because she was paralyzed. She had other things on her mind but she called me back the night after we found out and told me about the assault, so I told Owen the next morning that we needed to kill Asher. He called the others and we went last night, but made sure he wouldn't identify us. We didn't mention Clare but he probably knew why we were there."

"It didn't say anything in the article about Clare just that Asher was in the hospital after being assaulted by six assailants in hockey masks. So who were these other guys that helped and why didn't you tell us?" Adam questions.

"We didn't know if Clare wanted you guys to know. The other guys were Spinner from The Dot, Johnny and Lucas who used to hang out with Fitz and a guy Spinner knows named Jay," I tell them pulling up to the school.

"Does anyone else know about Asher?" Drew queries as we get out of the car.

"Far as I know just us and the guys that help me beat the crap out of Asher."

"I just hope he doesn't go after Clare or something," Adam comments.

"She's been in the hospital and it was obvious she wasn't part of the attackers. If he does try anything we'll pay another visit to Asher. I'll be going to see Clare at lunch and stay for my spare so I'll ask her if Asher did try anything. If he does try and go after her with her in the hospital and going through what she is we'll go after Asher again and this time he won't be able to talk," I reply as we walk into the school. I leave them to go to my locker and find Jake at his locker. "Hey Jake, good to see you back how's Clare?"

"The same, barely talking, scared to death, depressed. Darcy is staying with her though and she insisted the rest of us go back to our lives."

"She's probably right you can't just hang out at the hospital with her. I'm pretty sure it was driving her crazy to have everyone there."

"Yeah I know and she was trying to be strong for her parents, whenever she broke down Helen would breakdown and vice-versa. Randall wasn't much better and honestly my dad hasn't much let himself feel anything as he's trying to be strong for Helen. I'll be going over after school like a lot of people," Jake tells me.

"I have game after school but I'm going over at lunch and staying for my spare."

Jake smiles at me as the bell rings and we walk to homeroom business management class. Drew greets us when we get to class, a lot of people have heard about Clare and ask Jake about her before the teacher begins class. Owen has a spare second period and he tells me he's going to swing by the hospital to see Clare before he comes back for lunch. Jake is spending his spare with Katie which is good because he needs to take some time for himself. When I get to second period Eli is in there talking with Imogen and Fiona.

"I'm meeting with Simpson at lunch to get final approval for the play but I'll go to the hospital on my spare," Eli tells me.

"Cool I'm going over at lunch I'll let her know you plan to come on your spare," I reply. Class is a little boring and seems to drag on a bit, although that could just be that I want to get to the hospital and check on Clare.

"Tell Clare I said hi," Drew says as we leave second period when the bell rings for lunch.

"Will do," I smile before stashing my backpack and walking out to my car. I drive to the hospital and park going through the emergency entrance because it's easier. I can hear the TV on in Clare's room and peek my head in to see if she's awake or wants company, not that I think she'd turn me away.

"Hey Distract-Friend," she grins weakly but does seem happy to see me. She's not alone Darcy is reading in a chair but Jake already told me she'd be here.

"Hi, Drew wanted me to say hi for him and Eli is meeting with Simpson but said he'd come by on his spare," I inform her as I sit in the chair next to Darcy. "So how you feeling?"

"The same; tired, scared to death," she replies and her eyes gloss over by tears.

"Hey you're going to be just fine," I assure her taking her hand. "I was going to go home this weekend but I called my parents and…"

"No," Clare cuts me off, "no you need to go home and be with Rocky."

"No I'm going to be there to get you settled at the cancer hospital. I explained everything to my parents and Vanessa, they understand. My parents will bring Rocky up to see me this weekend so I can visit with him and still be a few miles away in case you need me," I insist to her just as the door opens and an orderly brings in some lunch.

"You know it is your lunch and Darcy's had nothing but coffee you two should go get some lunch in the cafeteria," Clare urges as she moves her bed up a little so she can eat.

"I am pretty hungry," Darcy replies.

"You sure you'll be okay?" I ask Clare.

"I'm just going to eat and anyway it won't take you over an hour to eat I'll see you when you're done. Besides you said yourself that Eli was going to come by," Clare insists.

"Okay then can I buy you lunch?" I ask Darcy as I stand up.

She smiles and follows me out of Clare's room. We go to the cafeteria and I buy us both lunch. We find a table and sit down together eating in silence for a few minutes.

"So will I get to meet Rocky while he's here?" Darcy questions suddenly and it takes me by surprise.

"Uh yeah, yeah you can come to the house Saturday. I mean as long Clare has company, I'm sure she will though with everyone," I stumble over my words and Darcy giggles. I'm usually completely confident with girls, suave even so why is it so different with Darcy?

"I'd like to see you play hockey too, Clare says you're really good," Darcy comments and I grin.

"We have a game tonight I can get you a ticket."

"That would be great, if Clare doesn't mind me being gone tonight. She likes to have us there to be a buffer for the parents. The worst part is Mom does hold it together pretty well at the hospital but totally breaks down at home," Darcy tells me looking down with sad eyes that break my heart.

"You're staying at your mom's house now?"

"I was going to stay with Dad and his fiancé but they have a pretty small apartment. And since Clare won't be coming home," she says with those sad heartbreaking eyes of hers, "I'm staying in Clare's room."

"It's good that you can all be there for each other, especially with the nasty divorce your parents had," I remark and then regret it because I worry it will make her have those sad eyes again. Surprisingly she smiles softly and it makes my heart flutter.

"I wasn't that surprised when they got divorced, I'm not sure Mom and Dad ever loved each other but I know they love us fiercely."

"It's a parents unconditional love. Vanessa and I get along okay but we definitely couldn't ever be together again but we come together for Rocky. When she first told me I had no interest in being a dad, I was still a kid myself, I thought it would be the end of all things but I wasn't going to abandon her. I was wrong though, Rocky's birth was the beginning of everything. As soon as I held him in my arms I was in love, I wanted him to have everything and to protect him."

"Tell me more about Rocky," Darcy requests with a coaxing smile and I feel my heart pattering in my chest again.

I spend the rest of lunch talking about Rocky and when we're done we return to Clare's room. Clare seems to be done with lunch, at least her plate is covered and the tray pushed away.

"I wanted to go to your game tonight but I can't leave the hospital so I think Darcy should go to your game. If it's not too late for you to get her a ticket," Clare says as soon as we enter the room.

"It's funny you should mention that because we were talking about it at lunch," I reply with a grin. I sit on the edge of her bed and lean down to her ear, "Why do I get the feeling you're trying to set us up?"

"Because I think you're good for each other," she whispers back. I sit up with a grin looking at Darcy.

"Will you be okay tonight?" Darcy asks her.

"I'm sure I'll have plenty of company, including Eli and Mark. You should go you need to leave the hospital sometimes and you can watch the game for me and report back," Clare insists.

"I'll leave your ticket with the box office," I grin at Darcy.

"So how are things going with Eli and Fitz anyway?" I ask Clare.

"I don't know," she replies looking a little worried.

"Is there a problem? Do I need to talk to them again?" I question and she smiles.

"No they've both been good but this changes things," she replies.

"If they care about you the way they say they do it won't," I assert and Darcy nods.

"I can't walk," Clare argues.

"And I still say that won't matter. None of this depressing talk," I tell her.

"Okay you want to tell me what happened last night? I saw on the news this morning that Asher was in the hospital, thankfully not this one," Clare comments and I look at Darcy unsure if she's been briefed on the whole Asher situation.

"She told me this morning," Darcy says with a look of disgust over Asher.

"Good, I told Drew and Adam this morning too. Adam saw it on a newsflash on his phone and figured it out so I told them. And I already told you last night we took care of him, if he so much as mentions your name again we'll go back to talk with him," I assure her.

"You mean you'll beat him up again," she counters.

"We'll talk to him with our fists," I shrug.

"Hey Beautiful how you feelin'?" Eli asks coming into the room.

"Okay I guess. What were you meeting with Simpson about?" She asks.

"Final approval for the play, he approved, casting is done we start rehearsals Monday," Eli tells her.

For the rest of the our visit Clare asks Eli and I questions about school. Eli and I both leave with enough time to get back to school for fourth period. As soon as I get back I call Coach and ask him to reserve a ticket for Darcy at the box office. Eli and I get in and grab our backpacks before heading to auto shop.

"How's Clare?" Drew and Owen both ask when we get into class.

"Scared as before, trying not to think about it," I reply.

"I wish there was more I could do for her," Eli comments with a sorrowful face and Owen puts his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder.

He is right though I wish there was more we could too.

 **(CLARE)**

"Jenna can you get everyone out of here for a few minutes I need to talk to Eli and Mark," I request. It's Friday evening and my room became flooded after school. Darcy and Jake convinced my parents to take the night off but Jake came after school, so did Mark, Eli, Adam, Jenna, Alli, Dave, K.C. and Wes. Connor is going home this weekend, Drew and Bianca are at the game as of course is Darcy at my insistence.

"No problem," Jenna smiles. "Hey everyone but Fitz and Eli let's go get some coffee and dessert. We'll get enough for everyone and bring it back to the room," Jenna says loud enough that all conversation stops and everyone looks at Jenna.

"Come on you heard her," Jake announces herding the others to the door.

"I guess you want to talk to us?" Eli remarks when the room empties except for the three of us.

"Yes I did," I nod as they each sit on one side of my bed. "Don't say anything, both of you just listen until I'm done please. You know I like you both and before all this I was spending time with each of you to figure out my true feelings. But this changes everything, it doesn't change how I feel about either of you, however I can't move my legs and when…if I leave the hospital I won't be able to even walk which could make dating a little difficult. I can't even date unless I beat cancer and I'm going to start looking and feeling sick. I'll probably lose my hair and be…" I stop talking as I become choked by tears and both boys squeeze my hands. I take a deep breath and close my eyes briefly before speaking again. "You both need to think about whether you want to stay in this? I'm not suggesting your feelings have changed or that mine have but the situation has and if you don't want to be with me that way any longer I'll understand. I won't be upset or angry, I promise as long as I still have your friendship I'll be happy. I don't want either of you to answer now, you need to take a minimum of 24 hours to think about it. Really think about it, don't tell me you're still in this because you feel obligated."

"Okay if that's what you want I'll take a day and really think about it," Mark tells me.

"Me too," Eli nods, "but my feelings for you have never changed," Eli adds with a smirk.

"Neither have mine," Mark responds kissing the back of my hand.

"Boys no fighting," I remind them.

"Sorry," they apologize at the same time.

"What are we apologizing for?" Spinner asks coming in with someone I vaguely remember.

"Hey Spinner, hi Paige," Mark greets them and I realize who Paige is now and remember that they got married a year after Darcy left. I heard about it but had never met Paige and hadn't gone to the wedding.

"Clare this is my wife Paige, not sure you two have ever met," Spinner comments introducing us.

"It's nice to meet you Clare, I knew your sister and I'd seen you around. I heard from Spinner and Jay that you were in the hospital and recently diagnosed with cancer. I was very sorry to hear about it and when he said he was going to come see you after work I wanted to come too. I hope you don't mind," Paige tells me with a kind smile and I return it.

"I don't mind at all it was very sweet of you to come. Spinner you probably know Eli from The Dot," I comment and they nod to each other.

"Jay went to the game tonight but he'll be by to see you soon and I know Lucas and Johnny want to come see you again too. When are you being moved to Princess Margaret's?" Spinner questions.

"Sunday," I tell him.

"We'll be there and remember if you need anything call," Spinner reminds me.

"I will," I grin as I hear my friends coming back because they are quite loud coming down the hall.

"We just wanted to stop by and see how you were," Spinner tells me kissing my forehead.

"Thanks for stopping by both of you, it was nice to officially meet you Paige," I smile at them.

"You too Clare, stay strong," Paige tells me before they both leave my room. Seconds after they leave everyone else comes back with coffee and various desserts.

"It smells good, I haven't had coffee in days," I grin.

"Here this one is yours and you get your choice of desserts," Jake tells me handing me a cup of coffee and a bunch of desserts are presented in front of me.

I decide on chocolate cake and everyone finds somewhere to sit to eat dessert. They brought coffee for Mark and Eli and enough dessert for everyone. I enjoy the moment of calm with my friends and, aside from being in the hospital and unable to move below the waist, it could be any other Friday night.

Since it is Friday evening and most people don't want to spend it in the hospital most of my friends begin clearing out between seven and eight. Adam stays, so does Jake as well as Eli and Mark. They just stay in my room watching a movie with me because there isn't anything they can say and they know it.

"Darcy says the Ice Hounds won and she was invited by Dallas to go to for celebratory pizza with the team. She says she can stop by afterward if you want," Jake tells me after getting the text from her at about ten.

"No I'm getting pretty tired, tell her to go home and I'll see her tomorrow," I reply with a yawn.

"We'll let you get some rest, I'll be back tomorrow," Adam says getting up and kissing my cheek.

"You want a lift Adam?" Eli questions.

"Sure thanks," Adam grins.

"I'll be back tomorrow Edwards," Eli tells me before giving me a tender kiss. As Eli and Adam leave Eli glances at Mark as if to see if he's also leaving but Mark makes no move to leave.

"I'm not leaving until you kick me out," Mark grins and it makes me smile.

"You can stay, I like having you here," I reply before looking at Jake, "you don't need to be here. Katie still has a couple hours before curfew you could go see her."

"No she's got family stuff tonight and even if she didn't she knows I want to be here with you. She's going to come tomorrow too," Jake tells me.

"I have to say you and Katie make a far better couple than Katie and Drew," I comment and Jake grins.

I fall asleep watching TV sometime later, I don't remember what I dreamed of but I wake up to a full bladder. My instinct is to get up and walk to the washroom as I had done since being potty-trained, at least up until a few days ago. My eyes open and I try sit up, which only partially works and when my legs don't move I get frustrated and I make an aggravated whine.

"Clare what's wrong?" Mark asks picking his head up and I realize he fell asleep here.

"Mark? What are you still doing here?" I ask him with annoyance feeling hot tears at the corner of my eyes.

"I wanted to be with you," he replies. It's a sweet response and he says it with an even sweeter smile, it makes my heart melt a little but at this moment I find it mostly intrusive.

"That's sweet but you need to go now," I assert looking away from him.

"Why Clare? Did I do something?" He questions taking my hand.

"No but…please Mark just go," I insist again but don't take my hand from his grasp.

"Not until you tell me why. You were upset when you woke up did you have a bad dream?" Mark asks and I shake my head. "Then what is it, please Clare you can tell me anything," Mark demands but in a gentle voice.

"It's…it's embarrassing," I whisper.

"I still want to know, if it makes you feel better I'll tell you something embarrassing about me afterwards," he says and it makes me smile so I finally relent.

"I have to pee," I admit quietly and Mark laughs. "Don't laugh," I scold him pulling my hand away.

"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you I just think it's funny that you thought that was embarrassing," Mark replies taking my hand back. "Everyone does that, it's not embarrassing."

"Yes but most people can get up and walk to the washroom," I remind him.

I watch his face change, he looks ashamed that he didn't realize it before. Looking away from me for a moment with reddened cheeks, then he looks back at me with a smile.

"I can carry you to the washroom," Mark offers. Yet another sweet gesture and as much as I love them it's kind of driving me crazy right now.

"I can't use the washroom," I reply in a whisper looking at my hands.

"Oh then you have a bedpan?"

"No there's a bag," I tell him quietly. When I first found out about it I found the whole things disgusting. "The nurse will come empty it but you don't want to see all that you should leave," I urge him. Then close my eyes as those hot tears of frustration and shame break from the corner of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Mark kisses the back of my hand and I open my eyes again.

"No I want to be with you, all of you. I'm not leaving, it's just urine and it's part of your life now. I want to be a part of your life and be with you and that includes things that aren't so pleasant," Mark tells me with a determined voice as he presses the call button. He then leans forward, brushing a curl behind my ear, wiping the tear from my eye and kissing the corner where the tear fell. It's a simple gesture, simple but tender and loving, it makes my chest swell and my heart thrums a happy song that makes my fingertips tingle.

"How are we doing Clare?" Nurse Kelly asks when she comes in.

"She went pee, she needs her bag changed?" Mark says but it comes out more as a question as he doesn't seem sure that it was right.

"No problem," Nurse Kelly grins kindly. Mark lets go out of my hand but stays in his seat as he watches the nurse change the bag _._ He can't see too much as the nurse does a good job of keeping the blanket covering most things. Nurse Kelly finishes and puts the blankets back. "All set," she smiles before leaving with the used bag.

"Was that so embarrassing?" Mark asks.

"No."

"Are you tired? Should I turn on the TV again? What do you want I'll do anything," Mark tells me and it makes me smile.

"I want you to hold me, please. Hold me and talk to me until I fall asleep again."

"With most extreme pleasure," Mark grins.

He gets on the bed and helps me roll completely on my side so he can get on the bed. He lies on his side, puts his arm around. Kissing me softly on my lips he starts talking and I fall asleep happily in his arms, listening to his deep voice reverberate through his chest.

 **(DARCY)**

I was out late but I could barely sleep and came to the hospital early with Mom and Glen. When we enter the room we find Clare asleep in Fitz's arms. I smile because I think it's sweet and adorable but Mom clears her throat loudly so that they'll wake up.

"Uh good morning Mr. and Mrs. Martin. Hi Darcy. Umm I fell asleep here and didn't want to leave Clare, and then she woke up and wanted me to hold her," Fitz explains as he scratches the back of his head uncomfortably.

"That was sweet that you stayed the night," I grin before Mom can say anything.

"Yeah well I should be going, I work this morning," Fitz says kissing Clare's cheek before he gets out of the bed. He grabs his jacket and leaves the room rather quickly.

"Feeling better Dear?" Mom asks when Fitz is gone.

"Mark helped yes," Clare smiles. "I'm a little hungry could you two see about breakfast?" Clare asks Mom and Glen.

"Sure Sweetie," mom nods before she and Glen leave the room.

"So have you made your decision between the two boys then?" I ask when the parents have left the room.

"No not yet, and in fact told them both to think about whether they really wanted to stay in this…I hate calling it a competition. Mark was incredibly sweet last night. I woke up because I had to use the washroom and I didn't know he was still here. I asked him to leave but he refused, he said he wanted to be with me and he wanted to stay for this. I was embarrassed but he was really sweet about it and it really meant a lot that he stayed and wanted to be with me even for that. Then he held me and talked to me until I fell asleep. Enough about my love life how was the game last night?"

"It was great, Dallas is really talented I enjoyed watching him. It was fun to hang out with him after and get to know the team. Dallas asked me to go over at eleven today and have lunch with him and Rocky," I tell Clare and she smiles.

"And you're going right?" She asks just as Mom and Glen come back in.

"I can't believe they considered oatmeal and toast a proper breakfast this is a hospital. I sent it back they'll bring you yogurt and fruit," Mom tells Clare.

"Yes I'm going," I whisper to Clare and she grins.

Clare's breakfast is brought and it isn't long before Clare's friends begin to show up. I leave, taking Mom's car, a little before eleven and drive to the house where Clare's best friend lives and where Dallas is living while he's here. I'm a little nervous as I begin to drive and by the time I park I have butterflies in my stomach. I park and walk through the snow around the house to the basement door. When Dallas told me how to get to the house from the hospital he told me to come around to this door. When I come to the sliding glass door I see Dallas on the floor with a young boy. Dallas sees me and waves for me to come in so I open the door.

"Hi, I'm glad you could come. Rocky," Dallas says picking up the boy who is playing with blocks, "do you remember Daddy's friend Clare?"

"Yes. Where Clare?" Rocky asks looking at me.

"Clare is sick remember that's why you came up to see Daddy this weekend. But this is Clare's sister Darcy. Can you say hi to Darcy?"

"Hi," Rocky waves shyly and then hides his head in his father's chest.

"You ready for lunch Buddy?" Dallas asks and Rocky nods. "Okay go wash your hands," Dallas tells him putting him down again.

"Can I help with anything?" I offer.

"No it's just pizza, there's paper plates and everything," Dallas tells me.

"I know Adam, Drew and Bianca are at the hospital but where are their parents and yours?" I inquire just as Rocky comes out of the washroom.

"The four of them went out to lunch, I wanted you to meet Rocky when it was just us," Dallas explains.

Rocky is pretty shy at first but after he eats two pieces of pizza he goes back to playing with his blocks. When I finish mine I sit with him and ask if I can play and then he opens up, I play with him and the blocks for a while and he talks to me, building things with me and even sitting in my lap by the end. Dallas just watches us with a smile the whole time.

"This was really fun and I know Clare has lots of company but I also know that she's afraid to transfer hospitals tomorrow. I should be getting back."

"I want to see her too but I expected the parents to be back by now. Hey Rocky you remember I told you that Clare was sick?"

"Ya, Clare sick," Rocky replies with a sad face.

"We want to go see her, do you want to go say hi to Clare?" Dallas questions and Rocky nods clapping his hands.

"I took my mom's car, you can come with me and come back with Drew I guess?"

"I'll text Audra and ask them to pick Rocky up when they finish lunch, he probably shouldn't be at the hospital too long anyway. We just need to get his car seat out of my parent's car," Dallas says.

We put on our coats, Dallas gets Rocky into a coat and mittens and locks up the house. He gets the car seat out and puts it in the back seat of Mom's car. Dallas gets into the passenger seat and I drive us to the hospital. Dallas sent a text to Audra on the way and she replied that they would be here soon. Dallas picks Rocky up and carries him into the hospital. We take our coats off in the elevator and Dallas picks Rocky up again as we begin walking down the hall to Clare's room.

"Hey Distract-Friend I brought someone to see you," Dallas comments walking in with Rocky in his arms.

"Hi Rocky," Clare smiles.

"Hi," Rocky waves with a smile, "I sorry you sick."

"Thank you for coming to visit me," she replies.

"Uh Dallas who's that?" Owen inquires.

"This is my son Rocky."

Dallas introduces Rocky to everyone and he's only here a few minutes before Adam and Drew's parents and Dallas' parents come to get Rocky. I meet Gordon and Natalie, Dallas' parents, as well as Audra and Omar Torres, it's a pretty brief meeting as they want to get Rocky back for his nap.

"Thanks for picking him up I'll be back at the house by the time he wakes up from his nap," Dallas tells them.

"No trouble it was good to see you again Clare we were very sorry to hear about everything," Natalie tells her with a sympathetic smile.

"It was good to see you guys again too, thanks for coming."

Audra is talking to Helen but they say goodbye to Clare before leaving. Now that Rocky is gone some of the others begin asking Dallas questions about him and Clare tugs at my hand.

"Did you have a good time with Dallas?"

"I did and Rocky is very cute," I reply with a smile.

"I hear wedding bells already," Clare giggles pleased with herself and I just shake my head.

 **Update soon beginning with Clare being moved to the cancer hospital. Next to be updated is** _ **Why the Two of Us Should Never Touch.**_


	11. In the Darkest Place

**Thanks to everyone for the feedback for what should replace** _ **Love Me Back to Life**_ **. After some debate and considering all the input** _ **Alone on a School Night**_ **will replace** _ **Love Me Back to Life**_ **. Look for the premier after the next chapter of** _ **Salvaged and Saved**_ **.**

 _ **Swirling Storm Inside**_ **readers the latest chapter did go up a few days ago. The site had issues and gave me an error so it didn't send out the e-mail or change the "updated" date but chapter 48 is up.**

 **Ch. 11 In the Darkest Place there's the Faintest Light**

 **(CLARE)**

"Can I speak to Clare alone for a moment?" Eli requests when most of my visitors have gone home to eat dinner. Jake is still here as are Adam, and Mark. I sent my parents home to pack some things for the cancer hospital tomorrow and Darcy went to have dinner with Dallas, Rocky and Dallas' parents.

"We'll go down and get something to eat," Jake tells me. Mark just grins but I'm sure he knows Eli is giving me his answer. Yesterday I told them both to take 24 hours to think about whether they wanted to stay in this…whatever we have. I can't really go on dates but I can still spend time with each of them, although I don't know if I'll be able to make a decision while I'm being treated for chemo in the hospital.

"I know the next few months will be hard," Eli begins taking my hand once the others have left, "but it doesn't change how I feel. I'm still in this fight, both the fight for your affections and the fight with you against the cancer. Even if you decide to be with Fitz instead of me I'm going to be here for you as a friend Clare."

"Thanks Eli, I'm going to need you by my side," I reply with a smile. He smirks and leans down to give me a soft kiss.

"Has Fitz given his answer yet?"

"In a way yes, I know he's staying in this too. I hope you can both be patient I don't know if it's a decision I can make while being treated for chemo," I remark.

"You take all the time you need," Eli smiles.

We talk until the others return. Mostly Eli talks about the play because I don't want to talk about my treatment or how I feel, or going to the hospital tomorrow. As the night gets later I keep expecting them to begin leaving but all of them stay with me. I'm supposed to sleep but I can't because I'm petrified of tomorrow, it's not just going to the hospital it's what it represents. Mark and Eli each sit on one side of me, Eli holds my hand and Mark, because he's sitting on the side with the IV, has his arm interlaced with mine. Adam sits at the foot of the bed and Jake in a chair and we watch TV. The hospital staff isn't kicking them out because they know I'm terrified. Even without sleep morning comes faster than I'm ready for, when I see the sun come up and I know I'll be moved to the hospital soon I begin to cry. Eli and Mark both hold me and Adam puts his hand on my leg.

"I don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to get sicker with the chemo. I'm scared I'm not going to make it out of this. What if the chemo makes the paralysis worse?" I sob and feel someone, Jake I think, begin stroking my hair.

"The chemo will kill the cancer but they'll monitor you closely and be sure that the treatment isn't making the paralysis worse. You'll be okay Clare," Adam assures me.

"You have to have faith Clare, if you lose hope then the treatment won't be as effective and you won't get your strength back. Or any of your mobility. I know you're scared but I also know you're strong," Mark encourages.

I nod and I know he's right but at the moment it's hard to really think about these things and put them into my mind with how I'm feeling. I manage to wipe my tears from my face by the time Darcy and my parents arrive. Dallas and Owen arrive shortly after they do and then the doctor comes in.

"Alright Clare we're going to get you ready to go to the cancer hospital. Because you're parents aren't equipped for wheelchair access in their vehicles," the doctor says and I watch Mom look at Glen and then Dad, "and because we need to keep your IV's going we'll be sending you by ambulance. It's going to take us a couple hours to get you ready, Mom and Dad we have some discharge papers for you to fill out."

My parents leave the room to sign the papers and a nurse comes in with an orderly. They check my vitals and my IV, when I know they're about to take off the blanket and look at my urine bag and everything I make everyone but Darcy leave the room. They give me a sponge bath, keep me in a hospital gown but get everything else ready to transport me. When the ambulance comes they take me by gurney to the ambulance. They say one person can ride with me and I ask for Adam to come with me. I know my mom wants to be with me but I also know she'll probably start crying or talking about the hospital and I can't take that right now.

Everyone else says they'll meet me at the hospital and the EMTs take me out to the ambulance. Adam rides with me, they don't use the siren or anything it's not an emergency, one EMT rides in back with me to watch the equipment and the other drives. Adam keeps me entertained by talking about things we both enjoy, it helps to take my mind off things. When we reach the hospital an orderly comes over with a wheelchair, the orderly and the EMTs get me off the gurney and into the wheelchair with everything hooked up. The orderly puts a blanket over my legs and wheels me into the hospital with Adam walking at my side. My family, Dallas, Mark and Eli are right behind.

"Hi Clare, my name is Carol and I'll be your primary daytime nurse while you're with us. I can give everyone a tour of the facility now or you can get settled first if you'd prefer?"

"A tour," I reply hoping to delay seeing my room as long as possible.

"Is everyone coming?" Carol asks the group as she takes the wheelchair from the orderly.

"Yes," everyone answers.

"We love to see so much support for our patients. Who do we have with us today?" The nurse asks.

"My mom Helen, my stepdad Glen, my dad Randall, my best friend Adam, my sister Darcy, stepbrother Jake. And this is my Distract-Friend Dallas, and my…well that's Eli and Fitz," I introduce everyone.

"It's wonderful to meet all of you and to see that Clare has so much support," Carol smiles as she begins pushing my wheelchair and the others follow.

On the main floor we're shown the information desk, spiritual care room, café and atrium. Then we get in the elevator and are taken to the first floor which is actually below the main floor, accessible stairs in the atrium or the elevator. The atrium is down here as are patient education classrooms and radiation. We don't go down there but she tells us that below us are more treatment rooms and radiation. On the third floor she shows me us the atrium and the hair and wig salon. It's a thought that brings tears to my eyes, I'll need a wig when I lose all my hair. On the fourth floor we see the family support room and the computer room. We see the chapel, and she tells me there's a garden to sit in when the weather is better. After a while I kind of tune out, I'm mostly just thinking that I'm going to need all of this, looking at the clinics and treatment rooms. Then I'm taken to what will be my room, it looks like a tomb to me.

"It's pretty roomy," Darcy says and I nod there is indeed quite a bit of space.

"Yeah there's even a sofa so we can sleep here and be with you," Mark comments and this thought makes me feel better and comforted. Nights alone here sounded incredibly depressing.

"There's a washroom through there, and you have your own TV with a DVD player. We'll give you some time to get settled and then the doctor will be in to discuss the treatment plan and insert your catheter. If you need anything there's an alert button on your bed, here on the wall and in the washroom," Carol tells us before leaving.

"We'll unpack, where do you want things?" Mom asks but I only shrug. The emotions running through me are so overwhelming I'm almost catatonic.

Mark kneels down in front of my wheelchair and takes my hands, "What do you need Clare? What can we do for you?"

"I don't know, I'm feeling so much and I'm so scared," I tell Mark fighting to hold the tears back. Mark kisses my hand and then my cheek. "Actually I'd like to be in my bed, sitting in the chair is becoming uncomfortable, I can feel part of the incision on my back," I tell him.

"I'd lift you up myself but I'm sure that they need to do something to get it all hooked up correctly," Mark says before turning to the others. "Can one of you press the button for the nurse Clare wants to be in the bed," Mark informs them and Eli presses the button on the wall.

In a moment a nurse comes in and Eli tells him that I want to be in the bed. He gets an orderly and they lift me into the bed and get everything I need. It's a smooth transition, they put me on my side and prop me with pillows. Mark, Eli and Adam come sit with me on the bed, Jake sits in the chair near the bed. Darcy and Dallas are on the sofa talking and my parents try to make themselves useful by unpacking what few things I asked them to bring, and what little I had at the hospital. When they have nothing else to do my dad sits down with Glen and my mom begins inspecting every little corner of my room.

"Hello everyone I'm Dr. Casey Witter, I'll be one of Clare's doctors while she's here. Now that you've had a little time to get settled I want to discuss treatment with you. Then we'll be inserting a catheter port," the doctor says and I nod. Mark takes my hand and squeezes lightly. The doctor talks about the course of treatment I'll be undergoing but I barely hear him, it's like I'm underwater. I don't even notice that the doctor is done except that Mark strokes my arm and I look up. "I know this is a lot to take in Clare, if any of you have any questions please ask. We need to insert a catheter port now, we'll be inserting it in your chest so if you want everyone in the room that's up to you."

"I want them to stay," I reply quietly.

The doctor nods and leaves then comes back a few moments later with a nurse and a tray. They open my gown and use an anesthetic to numb the area under my collarbone to put the catheter port in. The nurse tells me that I'll have a new line put in every day, I'm sure the doctor told me but I don't remember anything the doctor said.

"Alright Clare, we're going to put in the first line and begin your first treatment," Dr. Witter tells me. "Get comfortable, it will take about an hour for the medicine to finish and it will probably feel cold as it first goes in," he says as the nurse is hooking up the IV.

I feel the medicine coursing in and I shiver, Eli pulls the blanket over me and Mark rubs my arm. I can't take the silence and everyone's eyes so I ask Darcy to turn on the TV. A movie is on and everyone is looking at it but I don't know how many people are actually watching it. After an hour the nurse comes to check on me, she stops the IV and tells me I'll have another treatment this evening so they're keeping the IV line in. For a while I just feel tired and scared, and then I start shaking and can't seem to stop. Eli and Mark seem to think that I'm cold and put another blanket on me, and then I feel the contents of my stomach threatening to come up.

"I'm going to throw up," I say quietly and Adam grabs a bucket they left with me when they started my medicine. I grab it just in time and vomit several times, I know everyone's watching me and it feels a little embarrassing but they aren't leaving.

"Are you alright Honey?" Mom asks.

"I'm not sure I'm done, can someone please get me some water?"

"I'll get you water," Jake says getting up.

Dad presses the button for the nurse and after telling them I'm vomiting they bring me a clean bucket and take the old one. I throw up a couple more times and then am so exhausted I fall asleep to the TV. It's only the first treatment, I don't know if I can survive months of this.

 **(FITZ)**

"You know when Eli talked to me last night he told me he wants to be with me still," Clare tells me. It's her first night in the cancer hospital, we all wanted to stay the night but of course we all couldn't. She asked Darcy and Dallas to stay, I don't know if she didn't want to choose between me and Eli or she didn't want us here but after dinner I came back. She smiled when she saw me and didn't ask me to leave so I stayed. When I entered the room Darcy and Dallas went to get coffee, and Clare is getting her second treatment.

"I figured he would stay in this fight, actually never seen Eli back down from a fight and I know he cares about you deeply. But so do I. You didn't really need me to answer did you?" I question getting on the bed and holding her.

"No when you stayed with me the other night I knew you were in this, you proved it without needing to say anything," she says putting her hands on my arms like she's holding me to her.

"You're shivering," I comment.

"It's the medicine, I can't seem to stop but I'm not really cold," she replies. I don't know what to do besides hold her so that's what I do, hold her close. "I don't know if I'll be able to make a decision while I'm in the hospital getting chemo," she tells me.

"You don't have to make the decision until you're ready Clare. Eli's not exactly my favorite person but he's not a bad guy, he cares about you a lot, he likes Dead Hand which is one Bianca's favorite band and she's one of my best friends. Plus Eli likes you so I know he has some good taste. And we won't make things harder on you by fighting with each other, Dallas promised to hurt us if we did, but we wouldn't anyway. We plan to make things as easy on you as possible, us and everyone else plans to that is. No matter who you choose when you do make your choice I promise you won't lose my friendship Clare," I assure her and she nuzzles into me a bit more.

Darcy and Dallas return and sit on the sofa, Dallas gives me an approving smile for being on the bed and holding Clare. I know they call each other Distract-Friend but he's somewhere between a brother and a bodyguard for Clare, and he's even begun dating Clare's sister which makes their bond a little stronger, certainly past a normal friendship. Darcy and Dallas aren't official, that is they haven't announced that they're boyfriend and girlfriend or started calling each other with those titles. They have however been on a few dates and Darcy met his son and had the family dinner with the Dallas family, so in pretty much everyone's eyes they are dating.

A nurse comes in and turns off the IV removing the line from Clare's catheter port because she's done with chemo treatments for the day. Clare closes her eyes, she continues to tremble slightly but despite this she seems to be asleep, at least until she tries to sit up and move rapidly.

"What's wrong?" I question.

"I need to throw up," she replies and Dallas hops up to get the bucket, handing it to her just in time.

Clare's shaking harder, she's sweating profusely all of a sudden, she's soaked right through the pajamas they helped her change into earlier. Dallas and Darcy notice too, we're all worried and Darcy presses the button for the nurse.

"She's shaking violently, sweating and throwing up can't you do something?" Dallas requests when the nurse comes in.

"All side effects of the treatment, I know it's not pleasant to watch but it will pass. I can give her something to help her sleep but her body may reject it. If I give her a pill she'll throw it back up and I can't put in an IV while she's shaking that way. Clare if you want something to try and help you sleep I can inject it through the catheter port," the nurse says and Clare shakes her head. "I'll get some towels and clean sheets, a clean set of pajamas so when these side effects pass we can change her out of the wet clothes and change the sheets, she'll probably go right to sleep after. I'll be back to check on her in a few moments, I know it's hard to watch but it doesn't usually last very long," the nurse tries to assure us but right now watching Clare it isn't very reassuring.

The nurse leaves and Darcy gets a hand towel from the washroom, she wets it and gives it to me so I can wipe Clare's forehead with it. I dab her face with it and lay it over her forehead, eventually she does stop shaking and we call the nurse back in. She has fresh towels, sheets and a new set of pajamas another nurse comes in and they ask us to leave the room so they can get her changed, when we get back in Clare seems to be sleeping. I get on the bed and hold her again, when I put my arms around her she holds onto me again.

"What do you feel? Do you need anything or want anything?" I ask her.

"I want to take a shower, or a bath, I feel gross now and sick," she says in a sadly whining tone. Hearing her voice I know how awful she feels, she seems to feel worse than she looked when she was sweating and shaking. "But I can't do either, I can't get up," she says gripping my shirt.

"Fitz could give you a sponge bath," Dallas speaks up.

"I'd love to if you'll let me," I tell her.

"I want to have a bath and I'd like you to but…" she pauses biting her lip.

"I'll be very gentle and I know about the urine bag, I don't care," I assert and she nods.

"I'll help you get it set up and then we'll go get us some coffee. We can stay but I doubt either of you want that," Dallas comments.

"Thanks Distract-Friend," Clare grins and he smiles at her.

"Just doing my duty," he replies. Darcy gets on the bed to stay with her while Dallas and I go into the washroom. There's a small square tub in here and Dallas starts filling it with warm water. "It will get cold pretty quickly so you'll have to come back and fill it again with warm water, it will also keep the water pretty clean. Start with her feet and go up but keep most of her covered. Use the towels and sheets to keep the rest of her covered so she stays warm."

"How do you know so much about this?" I ask him as he gets down some washcloths for me to use.

"Vanessa was on bedrest for the last two weeks of the pregnancy and I would give her a sponge bath every few days," he tells me and I smile.

We return to the room and then Darcy and Dallas leave the room. I take the tub to the foot of the bed and lift the covers as I begin to gently wash her feet. She's lying mostly on her side and the room is pretty dark but she watches me.

"I can't feel you doing that," she pouts.

"I know but you were sweating a lot and I want to get you all clean. I can start at the top if you want so you can feel it," I offer but she shakes her head.

"No keep going, I kind of like watching you, it's sweet," she says and I smile.

I have to take off her pajama bottoms but I keep her panties on. I wash her legs making sure to keep as much of her covered and dry as I can to keep her warm. After I wash her legs I go back to pour out the water and refill the tub with warm water. I get back on the bed and very carefully wash her hips and lower back, her upper back and then I move to wash her front.

"I won't wash your breasts if you don't want me to. I'll keep your shirt down," I tell her.

"No I trust you and this part I can feel," she replies and I smile again.

I lift her pajama top gently and carefully wash her breasts, dipping the washcloth in the warm water I stretch it over two fingers and tenderly wash in gentle circles around her breasts. Clare goes between watching what I'm doing and watching my face, whenever she looks at my eyes I smile softly and kiss the tip of her nose or her forehead. I probably spend extra time on her chest but then I refill the water before doing her arms, neck and face. I even offer to do her hair but she tells me she's tired so I dump out the water and get back on the bed to hold her and make sure she's warm enough.

"Mark I don't know if I can do this. It's only been one night, they want me in here for at least the next two months."

"That's how I felt my first night in juvie. They bring you in on a bus and you have to strip all the way down and get searched to make sure you aren't sneaking anything in. It's degrading, it makes you feel less than human and they aren't gentle. I was thrown into a dorm and got beat up before I could even unpack, there was a fight that night and in the middle of the night me and another new guy were dragged out and locked in the washroom overnight. I didn't think I could take three months of it but in the pitch black and gross, smelly washroom I held onto one thought to get me through and that was you Clare. You saved me without knowing it. Picturing you, your shining and luminous blue jewel-like eyes, your compassionate smile, the way you say my name, everything about you. Even the way you looked at me when you were annoyed or angry, that's what got me through juvie. You are the reason I listened to Father Gregg when he came to talk to us, if not for you I would still be there, or would have let the fights get to me, probably would have fought back but I wanted to be better for you. I wanted to get out of juvie and show you that I changed and the determination to do that got me through and I came out better."

She's silent but she very tenderly kisses my hand, "You really thought about me that much? I inspired you to be better?"

"You did Clare, you were my one happy thought, my one determination to get out and get through it all. Find that one thing Clare, find someone or something to hold onto that even in the darkest times is a guiding light for you."

"Mark, I'm glad you got out of juvie and came back to DeGrassi. I'm happy that I got the chance to know you better," she says quietly with a yawn.

"So am I Clare, get to sleep I'm not going anywhere," I assure her kissing her temple.

She pulls my arm around her a bit more and soon I feel her body get heavy and her breathing regular and I know she's asleep. Just as I'm beginning to fall asleep with her in my arms Darcy and Dallas return to the room. Darcy smiles at us and they pull the sofa out to sleep on that. It pulls out to a bed and they're each sleeping on one side. With Clare finally asleep and not feeling ill we're all able to get to sleep but I hope her body can take another few months of treatment.

 **(CLARE)**

"I don't want to turn 17 in the hospital," I sob as Darcy helps me pick out a wig in the salon.

"I know but next year you'll be turning 18 and we'll make sure that one's amazing to make up for this one. How about this blonde wig?" Darcy asks picking it out and giving it to me.

"I wonder if Mark and Eli would like me as a blonde?"

"I think you look hot," Darcy grins, "don't you think Dallas?"

"Absolutely," he smiles looking over from behind another display.

"We can style the wig for you. Any way you want," a worker at the salon tells me.

"How about a twenties bob, we could have a twenties party," Darcy suggests.

"Darcy my party is this evening," I remind her.

"So everyone hits a costume shop after school. I'm pretty sure Jenna and Alli can get decorations together at lunch," Dallas shrugs.

"I still don't see the point, I don't want to have a birthday party in the hospital, it's just going to be depressing and a lot of work to sanitize everything and get up decorations for a two hour party," I remark. Dallas comes over and leans on the handles of my wheelchair so he's looking me in the eye.

"The point is that your friends want to celebrate your birthday with you. They want to celebrate you and all the work is worth it. I think a twenties party is a good idea, I'll make all the guys wear pinstripe suits," Dallas grins and it makes me smile.

"Okay a twenties party, a twenties bob would be nice but do you have anything in platinum blonde?" I ask the lady that works at the salon.

She shows me a short platinum wig and says she'll bring it to my room when it's done. Dallas has to get to school but says he'll tell everyone the party theme and they'll go after school for costumes. Dallas and Darcy have been sleeping in my room a lot. Last night was my fourth night in the hospital and today is my 17th birthday. Dallas and Darcy have slept on the sofa in my room three of those four nights. Mark has been here for two but he doesn't get much sleep when he's here so I told him he needs to go home every other night. Eli was with me for one night but he didn't sleep at all. Of course the night Eli was with me he kissed me and ran his fingers through my hair he pulled out a chunk. It was disturbing and embarrassing, he assured me it was okay but it still felt weird. Yesterday Adam and Darcy helped me shave my hair off, feeling the bald head was even weirder but they have a wig salon here and yesterday Adam picked out a long dark wig for me. I've been wearing that wig whenever people were around.

Darcy takes me back to my room and the orderly helps get me into the bed. I've had no appetite since the treatment began, I eat a little here and there, they encourage you to eat and teach you about good nutrition. It's hard for any food to sound or smell appealing when you know it will just come up again. They don't bring me breakfast but I get fluids and nutrition through an IV in the mornings. Now it's time for my first treatment of the day.

"Mom will be here soon, will you go out and find us something to wear for the party please? If we're going to do this then I want a full costume," I request of Darcy.

"I'll go downtown and find you something amazing," Darcy smiles.

She takes her purse and leaves, Mom shows up a few minutes later and stays with me for the treatment. Mom and Dad have been taking turns to be here with me in the mornings. Darcy is usually here too as the only one without a job or school. Right about the time I stop throwing up and don't feel like dying after the treatment it's time for me to go to group therapy and Mom leaves to get to work. When I get back to my room after therapy Darcy is back and she has bags so it must have been successful. She got me a dark green flapper dress and black heels that are twenties style, she also got me a choker. She got herself a red dress and tells me Dallas told everyone about the party and everyone's excited.

Jake, Owen and Katie come on their spare and stay through lunch to help get things ready. Dallas, Eli and Fiona show up at lunch with a few decorations and they also help. Jake, Owen and Katie have to get back to school before lunch is over but Dallas, Eli and Fiona have a spare after lunch and stay until they have to get back to school. The party is at six but Alli and Jenna show up at four, followed shortly by Imogen and Fiona, they help get up decorations then they help me get dressed, the salon brings up my wig and Darcy does my makeup.

"You look incredible," Darcy grins and I hear Dallas whistle as he comes in and greets my sister with a quick kiss.

"You look good in a pinstripe suit," I smile at Dallas.

"Thank you, I think I look damn handsome too but I'm not the only one," Dallas comments and I look over to the doorway to see Drew, Adam, Owen, Mark and Eli all in pinstripe suits and fedoras.

"A whole bunch of very handsome men," I grin.

They all come in and wish me happy birthday, the other girls were getting dressed when they were helping me. Jake and Katie arrive in costume, then Connor and K.C. arrive followed by Bianca. Everyone is now here, Adam has swing music on, people are talking and eating, we can't be very loud and the party is over at eight, but we have pizza, cake and presents like a normal party. I only eat a little ice cream but I still have a good time. Promptly at eight almost everyone clears out; Darcy, Dallas, Eli and Mark stay. Jake will be back but he had to take Katie home. Darcy and a nurse help me change back into pajamas, they wheel me out to the room where the guys are cleaning the decorations and Dallas lifts me into my bed. They help me get comfortable and the nurse hooks me up for my second round of chemo. I hate taking my wig off with others around but when Mark sees it's uncomfortable he takes it off for me and kisses the top of my head.

"Something hurts," I remark to the room as they continue cleaning and everyone looks at me.

"What hurts?" Eli asks.

"In my…in my thigh, I can feel my thigh," I exclaim.

"Where?" Mark asks coming to my bed and lifting the covers.

"Here, it hurts here, it's kind of sharp and tingly," I tell them pointing to where it hurts.

"I'll go get a doctor," Dallas says leaving the room.

"Can you really feel pain?" Darcy questions.

"What's going on?" Jake asks coming into the room.

"Clare says she feels a pain in her thigh," Darcy tells him and Jake runs over.

"You feel pain? Can you feel anything else?" Jake asks.

"Alright everyone please clear away from the bed so I can examine Clare," Dr. Maynard says walking in the room with Dallas. Dr. Michelle Maynard is one of the nighttime doctors here, she's usually the one that checks on me and I really like her. She asks me where the pain is and what I'm feeling so I show her and tell her. "That's a good sign Clare, I'm going to roll you to your back just a bit more and we'll see if you have sensation anywhere else," she tells me. Jake helps the doctor roll me to my back a little more and the doctor starts feeling my legs from my hips to my feet. I can feel her hands touching my hips and upper thigh and then I can't feel anything below that but do have some sensation around my ankles and the bottoms of my feet. "This is a very good sign Clare, it means any cancer cells still on the nerve or your spine are being killed by the treatment and the nerve pathways are rebuilding. I know you're going through a lot and it makes you tired but if you think you can do it we should get you started with physical therapy."

"I can do it," I nod.

"Great I'll arrange for the physical therapist to come to your room tomorrow after the group therapy session. Now this is exciting but don't get your hopes up too much, it's going to be a lot of hard work and you still may not get all of your mobility and sensation back," the doctor says.

"I know but I haven't felt anything below the lower half of my hips for over a week and I'm going to work hard, I'm going to fight hard to get back as much mobility and sensation as I can. Even if I never get it all back I will know that I tried everything," I say and everyone smiles.

"I'll go call Mom and Dad," Darcy grins and goes out of the room.

"My birthday party was good and I'm glad we did it, my presents were great but the best present is being able to feel, even a little," I smile.

"And this is just the beginning, I know that you'll fight as hard as you can and I know you'll get more sensation back and mobility," Eli grins giving me a soft kiss.

"Yeah at this rate I have no doubts you'll be dancing at junior prom," Mark smiles giving me a tender kiss when Eli releases my lips.

For the first time since waking up on my floor and not being able move; since hearing that they thought I had cancer, I feel like I can beat this. Not only do I feel I can beat this I have the determination to do so. I finally have that light to hold onto that Mark told me about and I'm not letting that light go out.

 **Update soon beginning most likely with Clare's physical therapy session and including some time with both Eli and Mark. Next updated is** _ **All We Have to Survive is Each Other**_ **and as is the new process with short stories that will be chapters 2 & 3.**


	12. Treasure these Few Words

**Remember to check out the DeGrassi Saviors website for clues for the latest story, the 200 pictures gallery as well as news. Some of you may already know I'm beginning to take some of my stories from here and convert them to be publishable works; in other words taking out anything with a copywrite or otherwise owned by someone else. I'll be posting more on this later and have links on the DeGrassi Saviors page, as well as possibly my profile page.**

 **Ch. 12 Treasure these Few Words**

 **(CLARE)**

"Hi Clare I'm Alex I'll be your physical therapist. It looks like you brought me lots of helpers today," the friendly blonde man says when Owen wheels me into the room.

"Yes these are my friends Adam, Owen and Mark," I introduce them.

"Great it's important that you helpers watch closely, she'll be meeting with me once a day, on weekdays, but should do most of these exercises two more times a day and she will need help. I see in your chart you have paralysis from about the hips down," Alex says and I nod. "You're muscles and nerves have started to atrophy because they haven't been used in a couple of weeks. We're going to work on rebuilding those muscles, if you use them your brain will start rebuilding the pathways. You tell me what you're up for today."

"Anything, I can do anything," I reply resolutely.

"That's a great attitude. Let's start with some exercises, do any of you have experience with physical therapy?" Alex asks my helpers.

"Yeah I do, just my arm though I got shot in the shoulder last year," Adam says.

"Me too I play a lot of sports, had injuries on my elbow, shoulder, knee and hip," Owen tells him.

"Great let's get you out of the wheelchair and on the mat," Alex instructs. Mark lifts me up out of the wheelchair and sets me on the mat so I'm sitting up. Alright one of you sit across from her, grab her hands and help her bend forward, but don't go more than is comfortable," Alex says.

Adam sits across from me and leans forward taking my hands, he then pulls me forward. We do this for a while see-sawing back and forth, Owen and Mark watch us and Alex makes some notes in my chart. Then Alex has me lie down and he moves my legs, he does a series of exercises, several repetitions with each leg. While he does the exercises Mark, Owen and Adam watch carefully so they can help me do the exercises later and teach the others.

"Okay Clare we've done a lot are you up for some more?" Alex asks after he finishes with the exercises and Owen's given me some water.

"Yeah," I nod. I'm determined to get my mobility back, determined to walk again and I'll do whatever it takes.

"Good we're going to test your strength, I'll have one of your helpers lift you up and put you in that contraption," Alex says pointing to something that looks a little like a mediaeval torture device. Owen picks me up and puts me in, I guess he's used it before. "Okay this will help us measure the strength and mobility, we're going to start with your arms just so you see how the machine works," Alex tells me.

"Okay," I nod.

"Good I want you to take these straps in your hands. Now without pulling your body off the mat I want you to stretch your arms all the way up."

I nod and do as he instructed, I find the bands are resistant and it takes some strength to pull them until my arms are straight up. He moves the machine so I'm sitting up and fastens a band around my abdomen, I have to move forward and twist using just my abs, back muscles and hips if I can.

"Alright Clare, I'm going to move this down to your hips now. I want you to attempt to lift your hips and waist up using only those muscles. You may not be able to do it but I want you to try," Alex instructs and I nod.

It takes a me a moment to even find those muscles, arching my lower back and attempting to move my hips but that's more difficult. After struggling for several minutes Alex tells me to relax, I sink back and let out a breath.

"You're doing great Clare, I'll get one of your helpers to get you back on the mat. Rest a few minutes and drink some water, and then if you're up for it we're going to do some more leg and mobility exercises," Alex says.

I feel pretty tired but determined to do this I nod. Owen picks me up again and sets me on the mat where I lean against Mark. Adam gets me some water and I spend about fifteen minutes just resting, it feels good to rest.

"How you feeling Clare, you think you can do a little more?" Alex asks.

"Yes, I can do this," I nod resolutely.

"Good, I know you're tired so this will be the last one for the day. I'm going to have you lie on your side and we're going to work your upper legs and your hips. Helpers watch me, she should be doing these three times a day to keep the muscles strong," Alex says.

Mark helps me to lie on my side; he, Owen and Adam find a place to sit around me and watch Alex. He moves my top leg up and around all sorts of ways, he's doing more exercises and I try to watch but it's not easy to do from my position and Alex wants me to lie flat on my side. After a few minutes he has me turn over, with help from him, so he can do the other leg. Even though I didn't do much moving on my own by the time he's done with that leg I am very exhausted, it feels like trying to crawl up a mountain using only my arms.

"You did really well Clare, do those exercises, with help again tonight and tomorrow morning and I'll see you tomorrow," Alex tells me.

"We'll make sure she does them," Adam says while Mark gets me back in the wheelchair.

Owen pushes me back to my room and I hold Mark's hand the whole way. Waiting in my room is Jake, Eli, Darcy, Dallas, Mom and Glen. Eli and Dallas help to get me back into the bed, Mark gives me some water and I ask for food so Mom asks the nurse to bring me lunch. I eat lunch while Owen and Adam tell everyone about the session. They bring me lunch and I eat slowly, I'm supposed to go to group therapy but I'm far too exhausted and I fall asleep after lunch. After a few hours of sleep I wake up late in the afternoon and to fewer people in my room. Adam, Eli and Jake are still here but everyone else left while I was asleep.

"Hey, you're awake, you were exhausted so people went home to eat and stuff. Helen and Dad said that they'd come back after dinner if you wanted them to. Darcy and Dallas said the same," Jake tells me when I open my eyes.

"What about you guys? Don't you need to eat?"

"We ate earlier and we're not going home any time soon," Eli tells me.

"I'll tell them you're awake now so they can bring you dinner," Jake says.

"I'm not that hungry," I reply.

"You should still try to eat, they'll bring you a nutritional shake as well. After you eat we can help you with the exercises if you feel up to it," Adam comments.

"I'm up for it now," I assert.

"Eat first," Eli remarks while Jake leaves the room to tell them I'm awake.

They bring me dinner and I talk with Jake, Adam and Eli a little while eating. I don't eat much of the dinner but I do drink the shake. I ask Jake to tell our parents, Dallas and Darcy not to come back because there's no reason for them to. After I eat and they take the tray Adam puts my bed down a little and he shows Jake and Eli the exercises. Because I can't move my legs there's really nothing I can do but help Adam remember all the exercises. Eli and Jake pay close attention to the exercises as they are sure to help me do them at some point. It takes more than an hour to do the full set and even though I barely did anything I am quite tired. I get about an hour to rest before it's time for my second round of treatment for the day. Eli puts a movie on and I watch while the treatment runs its course, when I shiver Eli sits with me and covers me with a blanket.

"How do you feel?" Eli asks after they've turned off the treatment and I'm still in sweating and shaking a little.

"Terrible, I always do after treatment. It will pass b…gonna throw up," I alert them cutting off my own sentence.

Jake quickly grabs the buck and I vomit. What little I did eat at dinner and anything else in my stomach comes up over the next few minutes. After vomiting I'm sweating even more and can't stop shaking, I feel exhausted but not tired just physically drained. When we're fairly certain that I'm done vomiting and sweating Adam calls for the nurse to change my sheets and the boys turn around while she helps me into clean pajamas. When they return Eli sits on my bed and we finish watching the movie.

"I should go but I'll be back tomorrow," Eli says giving me a soft kiss when the movie is over.

I smile and say goodnight, I look at Adam and Jake expecting them to leave as well, but they just smile at me and Adam puts in another movie. As drained as I am I can't get to sleep. Something is nagging at my mind but the thought hasn't quite formed yet, whatever it is it's keeping my mind active. Deciding that I've been on my back a lot today and a new position may help I grab the bed rail to roll to my side. When you can't move your entire body rolling over is not an easy task.

"What do you need Clare?" Adam asks and Jake looks over.

"I want to be on my side."

Adam and Jake get up, help me roll onto my side and get into a comfortable position. We continue watching the movie and they put the sofa into the reclining position to sleep. I see Jake begin to nod off but Adam is still awake. I watch the movie and in the back of my mind I'm thinking about Eli, he doesn't stay overnight and though he stays with me when I'm reacting to the medication he always seems to be more nervous and like he's attempting to control himself. At first I think it's his bipolar depression that he's trying to control, that seeing me so ill is upsetting and may be triggering something for him. And then another possibility hits me like a bolt of lightning.

"Adam," I call to my best friend but keep my voice low because Jake is now sleeping. Adam gets up and comes over sitting on the side of my bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Eli, he leaves before it gets too late and even though he stays through the treatment and the aftermath he seems so reserved. I thought maybe seeing me so ill was triggering his bipolar depression and he was trying to hold it in. But what if it's more than that? We're coming on the anniversary of Julia's death what if he's afraid I'm going to die and he's distancing himself?"

Adam takes my hand squeezing in a comforting way, "Julia was killed in an accident there was no warning. Still, it could be bringing back memories and with his bipolar depression it would make sense. I'll talk to him tomorrow, don't worry about it for now you should get some sleep."

"I can't, I'm restless, you have no idea how terrible it is to be restless when you can only feel about half your body," I complain.

"What do you want to do?" Adam questions.

"I don't know, go for a walk, but I can't."

"I'll be right back," Adam says leaving my room. He comes back a moment later with a wheelchair and an orderly. They help me into the wheelchair making sure the IV pole is hooked to the wheelchair. "If her brother wakes up will you let him know we went for a walk," Adam requests of the orderly and he nods. Adam wheels me to the elevator and takes me down to main level atrium. "Too risky to take you outside but we can walk through the atrium, with the glass ceiling you can see the moon and stars at least."

"Thanks Adam," I smile reaching up to place my hand on my best friends in a grateful gesture.

Adam walks me through the atrium, we go around three times before I feel tired enough to go back to my room. The nurse helps me into the bed and I'm able to get to sleep now although I do dream about what might be bothering Eli. I sleep late, not waking up until the nurse starts my first course of treatment for the day.

"You're awake, I can't delay treatment any longer but if you're hungry you can eat when you're done. I have fluids and electrolytes in your IV," the nurse tells me beginning the treatment.

"I won't be hungry after the treatment," I shake my head and she gives me a compassionate smile. You see a lot of those in here.

When I look around the room I see my mom and Glen, my dad, Darcy, Dallas and Mark are here. Seeing that I'm awake Mark grins and comes over to my bed, he sits on the edge and puts an arm around me, pulling me to him and stroking my arm gently. I'm sure Jake and Adam went home to change and shower, and possibly get some more rest. As always after the treatment I start to get very ill; shaking, sweating, vomiting. It's very hard for people to watch, especially my parents but Mark never leaves my side. He holds me and strokes my back or arm gently, and holds the bucket when I vomit. I don't have a wig on but I do have a scarf hiding my bald head. When it's all over with I feel drained and exhausted again, in fact I fall asleep against Mark's chest. I wake up sometime later to Mark's lips on mine.

"I didn't want to wake you but you have to go down to physical therapy soon and you haven't eaten. You should try to eat, they're bringing you some lunch," Mark tells me.

He moves the bed to more of a sitting position and adjusts the pillows behind me to help me sit up even more. They bring me lunch but I'm not that hungry, I eat the yogurt and the fruit cup. After I eat Mark, Dallas and Darcy take me over to physical therapy. I introduce Dallas and Darcy to Alex, we do everything I did yesterday along with a couple new exercises. I push myself to do as much as I can and hope that I can get more muscles to move today, which doesn't happen but I'm determined to keep pushing myself and not let the muscles atrophy, and to get those pathways reconnected. Dallas puts me back in the wheelchair when I'm done, Mark wheels me back and lifts me into the bed. Knowing I'm done with treatment and exercises for a few hours I ask Darcy to bring me my long dark wig. She hands it to me and I put it on just as Eli enters the room, I can tell by the look on his face that there's something on his mind.

"Can everyone give me a moment with Eli please?" I request. Mark kisses my temple before leaving with everyone else. "I guess Adam talked to you this morning," I comment as Eli walks into the room.

He sits on the edge of my bed and takes my hand in his, "Yeah he did and I should have talked to you sooner I just didn't want to stress you out or give you more to worry about. I want to be with you for everything and I'm still in this but you're right it has been difficult for me to watch you get so ill. Not exclusively because it reminds me of Julia but it does have to do with that. I've already lost one girl I loved and I'm afraid to watch you die. It's also different though; I didn't watch Julia die. Not that you're going to die, I'm sure you're not but you are very sick and weak, especially after your treatment it's hard to watch. With Julia it was just she was there one moment and then gone, her parents called and said she was hit by a car and she was dead and that was it. Watching you when the medicine is taking its toll on your body…the fear that you won't be okay, well it did bring up some unresolved feelings around Julia and her loss. I want to be with you and help you through this and I'm not giving up on being with you but it's hard for me to be here overnight. I'm sorry though I should have told you all this sooner."

"You don't need to apologize Eli, I understand that you can't be here overnight because it's too hard. I appreciate that you're here with me and staying in this despite events in your past that have brought up some things for you. I know you're still in this, I also know I can't make a decision at least until I'm out of the hospital."

"No one is expecting you to," Eli smiles kissing my temple.

"Just promise me that if you need to step out, or you're having trouble with what I'm going through because it's bringing up things around Julia that you'll tell me."

"I promise," Eli smiles.

He stays on my bed until the others come in the room and he gets off. Since I didn't eat much lunch the nurse brings me a protein shake. After I drink the shake Mark and Darcy help me with the exercises. Both Eli and Mark stay with me through my last treatment for the day but Eli goes home shortly after the medicine finishes. I give Mark the option to go home since Darcy is staying the night but Mark decides to stay.

"You know you don't have to stay, this is the part where I throw up and start shaking and I know it must be hard to watch," I tell Mark when the room is quiet and Darcy is getting comfortable on the sofa.

"I know I don't have to but I want to, I want to be with you. I don't enjoy watching you be so ill, it is a little scary but I'm not going anywhere. I feel much better when I'm here and holding you, helping you through it than to be at home and worried about you. I'll only go if you don't want me here," Mark says taking off the scarf from my head and placing a soft kiss on my skin.

"I want you here, I feel much better in your arms."

Mark smiles wrapping his arms around me a little more and taking my lips for a tender kiss.

 **(DALLAS)**

"Are you nervous about leaving Clare or spending the weekend with my family?" I ask Darcy, reaching over and taking her hand but keeping the other on the steering wheel.

"Both," Darcy admits.

"Clare is going to be fine, she's got both her paramours with her, the rest of your family, Owen, Alli, Jenna, Dave, Drew and Bianca. And after two weeks of physical therapy everyone that comes to visit her knows how to do the exercises with her," I remind Darcy. Clare started physical therapy exactly two weeks ago today, she was doing well and even though the chemo and radiation makes her weak she is getting stronger. She's even got a little more mobility back. At one time or another in the last couple of weeks we had all helped her with the physical therapy exercises.

"I know but she's my little sister and I worry about her," Darcy says.

"I know but there's no need for you to. If something does happen one of them will call us and we'll be back there in an hour. Anyway, Clare insisted we take the whole weekend," I comment.

"Yes she did," Darcy smiles.

I hadn't come back to Guelph since Clare had been admitted to the cancer hospital, my parents or Vanessa had brought Rocky to see me the last couple weekends but just for a day. Earlier this week when Darcy and I were sleeping at the hospital with Clare, Fitz was there as well as he was most every night, Clare told me to come home this weekend. She said it firmly and insisted that I spend the whole weekend with my family, and then suggested that I bring Darcy with me.

"And you shouldn't be nervous about my family you've already met them and they love you. When I told Rocky you were coming he got very excited."

"Rocky's adorable, such a sweet little boy. He reminds me of a little boy I grew fond of in a little village in Mali," Darcy says with a reminiscent smile and it makes me grin.

When we cross the Guelph city limits Darcy lets out a breath and I squeeze her hand. We're silent until we reach my house. As soon as I park in the driveway the door opens and Rocky comes running out followed by my dad.

"Daddy," Rocky calls excitedly running to me and jumping into my arms. I pick him up and hug him tightly.

"Hey Buddy I missed you but I'm here until after you go to bed tomorrow night. Can you say hi to Darcy? She's going to stay with us this weekend," I tell him. Darcy comes over and smiles at Rocky waving to him.

"Hi Rocky, I look forward to playing with you this weekend," Darcy says.

"Yay let's play," Rocky says enthusiastically thrilled and wriggles out of my arms. He then takes Darcy's hand and begins pulling her into the house so fast she can barely say hi to my parents.

Watching them together, how much Rocky likes her and how good she is with him makes me happy. For me it's one of the best sights I could see. When Rocky takes Darcy inside I hug my parents, grab our bags from the car, lock up and go inside. I set our bags down and walk back to Rocky's room, he's playing with Darcy and they seem content so I go out to the living room to visit with my parents a little bit. Mom asks about school and I tell her I'm doing pretty well in my classes and will pass, that's about all I do in school. Dad asks about the team and of course I have a lot more to talk about when it comes to the team and hockey. I talk for probably an hour before Rocky and Darcy come out of his room.

"Gramma, hungry," Rocky announces before climbing into my lap.

"It is about time for lunch," Mom says.

"Can I help?" Darcy offers.

"Thank you Darcy," Mom smiles and the two of them go into the kitchen.

Dad and I continue to talk about hockey while Rocky stays in my lap, although when he gets bored and anxious to eat I give him my phone to play with. When Mom tells us that lunch is ready we wash our hands and sit at the table.

"How's Clare doing?" Mom asks as we begin eating.

"Where Clare? She come visit?" Rocky asks.

"No Buddy Clare's still sick and in the hospital. If you come up to see me next weekend you can visit her if you want," I tell Rocky and he nods with a big smile.

"She's doing well, the treatments are hard on her body but her strength is inspiring, as sick as she can feel she's determined to beat it. She does physical therapy exercises three times a day and those are pretty grueling, and the treatments twice a day take a toll on her body but she keeps pushing through. She's gotten mobility and sensation back in her hips but nothing below her hip bone, even so that's a very encouraging sign," Darcy informs my parents. Rocky doesn't quite know what we're discussing so he takes a deeper interest in his lunch and starts devouring his food.

"That is very good, and very encouraging. When we've gone to see her she has looked good and strong that's a very good sign. In her situation I can imagine a lot of people giving up, especially with the prospect of never walking again," Mom remarks.

"In the beginning she did a little bit, but with all of the people that rallied around her she found the strength. As soon as she got some sensation back she was determined to do it all and walk again," I tell them.

"Yeah my little sister is stubborn," Darcy grins.

After lunch Darcy and I take Rocky to the mall play area so he can run around and play. She and I get coffee and watch him run around while we talk. When we get home, I put Rocky down for a nap and we spend an hour talking with my parents before Rocky wakes up. Darcy and I play with him while my parents start dinner.

"I was thinking that after dinner we would go ice skating. The rink where I learned to skate is just a couple blocks away and it's open until eleven on weekends," I tell Darcy while Rocky washes his hands for dinner.

"I haven't been skating since I was like thirteen I'll probably fall but I love watching you skate so I'm willing to take that risk."

I smile and kiss her cheek just as Rocky comes out of the washroom. He sees the kiss and gives us a suspicious look, he doesn't say anything so I tousle his hair and take his hand walking to the dinner table. We eat dinner and then Darcy and I clean up, she helps me get Rocky to bed then we grab our coats and go to the ice rink. I have skates at home which I brought but I rent a pair for Darcy, I've been coming to this rink since I was just a little older than Rocky so everyone here knows me. The rink is pretty crowded and Darcy starts to falter when she gets on the ice but I catch her.

"There's no ice skating rinks in rural Africa," she says.

"It's okay I don't mind holding you," I smirk and she smiles.

It takes her a little while to find her footing and balance and remember how to skate. Once she does we begin skating around together holding hands. I show off a little by skating backwards and doing spins and even jumps. Darcy just skates around and around be she likes watching me. We stay until the rink closes, when we get home it's nearly midnight and my parents have gone to bed. Mom left a note that our room was made up though.

"Our room?" Darcy questions arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah well I already have a son and you're a couple years older than I am, and we are together right? I mean you are my girlfriend right?"

"Yes," she smiles giving me a soft kiss. "It has been a long time since I shared a bed with a boy though. And honestly the last time I wasn't really aware of it," she informs me and this time I arch an eyebrow. "Another time, right now I'm tired and would kind of like a shower."

I smile and show her where the towels are in the washroom. Darcy comes into my room and gets her pajamas, she takes a shower and I check on Rocky. By the time she gets out of the shower I brush my teeth and find her in my bed when I return to the room. I get in bed and we stay up talking late into the night, she even cuddles up to me and falls asleep on my chest. We both wake up late the next morning to the smells of breakfast. We yawn, stretch and smile at each other before getting out of bed, and we get dressed before going out to the kitchen.

We eat breakfast together, after Rocky finishes eating he sits in Darcy's lap and I snap a picture. It's a sight I want to remember for the rest of my life because to me it's a most beautiful sight. After breakfast the five of us bundle up and go for a walk through arboretum, in the spring and summer it's green and beautiful but it's also gorgeous and peaceful in the winter. We walk down Old Quebec Street and stop for lunch before returning home. Darcy and I stay for dinner and she helps me put Rocky to bed again.

"Goodnight Buddy, be good for your grandparents and Mommy and I'll see you next weekend okay?"

"Kay. I see Clare?"

"Yeah when you come up next weekend we can go visit Clare," I tell him kissing his forehead.

"Goodnight Rocky," Darcy smiles.

"Night, night Darcy," he yawns. We leave Rocky's room and go out to the living room to say goodbye to my parents.

"Thank you so much for having me for the weekend," Darcy says hugging my parents.

"It was our pleasure Honey, you and Clare are both welcome any time. When she's better of course, but we enjoyed having you both very much. Send our best wishes and love to Clare," Mom says.

"We will," I smile.

We get our bags and wave to my parents before going out to my car. We spend the drive back mostly talking about the trip, it's a little after nine by the time we get back to Toronto.

"I'm sure Clare is still awake do you mind if we go to the hospital first?" Darcy requests.

"Not at all, in fact I was thinking the same," I reply with a grin.

Darcy smiles and I drive us straight to the hospital, I park and we go in and up to Clare's room. It's fairly dark although we hear a movie going, she should have just finished treatment a short time ago and is probably just beginning to feel sick. When we get to the room we see Fitz holding her on the bed, and when Clare notices us coming in she smiles.

"How was the trip?" She asks.

"Great," Darcy and I both say at the same time and we laugh. Clare smiles watching us.

"Good, can I start telling people that you're an official couple now?" She asks.

"Yes," Darcy grins, "Mike is my boyfriend."

It's the first time she's used my first name, I love the sound of it from her lips and I smile joyously. Clare grins giddily watching us together.

"Rocky wanted to see you I told him he can come visit when he's here next weekend. He spent a lot of time with Darcy she's a natural," I grin getting out my phone to show Clare the picture of him on her lap.

"He's so cute and he's definitely taken to you Darc," Clare grins and then her face changes. I know that look and I grab the bucket just as she vomits. Fitz hands her some water when she's done and now she just looks ill. "I want to hear all the details but right now I'm about to become very ill," she tells us before vomiting again. She starts shaking and sweating, both Darcy and I know that this is the worst part for her.

I look at Darcy and I know we both have the same idea. She texts her mom that we're sleeping here. I send a text to my parents that we made it safely and then text Audra that I'm sleeping at the hospital to be with Clare. We tell her that we're just going down to get our bags and we're sleeping here. She nods a little before vomiting again. I know this is the hardest thing for her body and it's been weeks but they expect to keep her here until at least April, that's a minimum of at least another five weeks of this, as strong as she is I hope her body can take it.

 **Update soon probably jumping ahead a bit to March break, possibly farther into Clare's recovery from the cancer.** **We're also coming to the end of this story, it will probably end at 15 chapters which hopefully you all know at this point (with the new system and much longer chapters) is the new expected minimum length of long stories. Replacing this will be** _ **Live in My House I'll be Your Shelter,**_ **an A/U Flare story that kicks off with Vegas Night.**


	13. Take These Broken Wings & Learn to Fly

**I hope everyone has checked out the latest pictures on the DeGrassi Saviors website, the link can be found on my profile page.**

 **As you know this story is soon coming to end, in fact I'm fairly positive it will end right at chapter 15. You should also have seen in the last chapter that this will be replaced by** _ **Live in My House I'll be Your Shelter.**_ **If those of you whom read this also read** _ **You Believed in Me, Let Me be Right for You**_ **then you know that is also ending soon, also probably at chapter 15. However, I am considering not replacing with anything and bringing the number of long stories to 4 at a time. Mostly because of time, I'm no longer posting daily and even though the chapters are now twice as long between work and making a go of actually making a living as an author and life and family it can take me the better part of a week to write, edit and post for a single chapter. Less revolving stories would mean more time to focus on the ones I am working on, as well as turning stories I have published here into publishable works on Amazon. I still have not made the final decision about taking it down to 4 long stories but I should have by the time** _ **You Believed in Me, Let Me be Right for You**_ **goes up again.**

 **Okay enough from me enjoy the chapter everyone!**

 **Ch. 13 Take These Broken Wings & Learn to Fly**

 **(FITZ)**

"Hey Gorgeous, how do you feel?" I ask Clare walking into her room early Monday morning. It's March break and I know everyone will soon be here to see Clare.

"A little tired still. Can you hand me my short black wig please?" She requests.

"Still afraid for people to see your bald head?" I ask her as I take the black wig from its place on the shelf. She is almost always wearing either a wig or a scarf. The only people she's ever comfortable enough around to not have the wig or a scarf is her family, me, Adam and Dallas.

"It looks funny," she says trying take the wig from me but I hold it back for a second.

"You look Gorgeous," I tell her kissing the top of her head before handing her the wig. She smiles and puts the wig on, fixing it until it's straight. "People will be here soon to see you, where's Jake?" I ask since he spent the night in her room last night. It was one of the very few since she's been in here I haven't spent the night.

"He went down for some coffee. They'll come turn off the chemo in a few minutes. Could you pick out something for me to wear please? The nurse can help me get dressed when she turns off the chemo," Clare requests.

"Or I could help you get dressed. I have given you a few sponge baths now and I promise to be good," I plead. Clare bites her lip and considers my proposition.

"Okay, you can help me get dressed," she nods.

I smile and go to her closet finding a comfortable dress, and getting out a bra and clean panties for her. Jake returns with coffee just before the nurse comes to turn off Clare's chemo machine and stop her morning treatment. When she leaves I tell Jake I'm going to help her get dressed and he says he'll stand outside the room and stop people from coming in until she's dressed. When he's out I close her door before taking her covers down, and then gently and carefully getting her pajamas off. I have to be very cautious in getting her pajamas off and her clothes on around the wires and everything.

"There dressed and beautiful and ready for visitors," I smile propping her bed up a little and getting her comfortable.

When I go to the door to open it and let Jake know it's okay to come back in I see a lot of people here. Dallas, Rocky, Darcy, Owen, Adam, Drew, Bianca, Jenna, Alli, Dave and Eli come in along with Jake. She's happy to see them all, to have the company, especially Darcy, Dallas and even Rocky since Dallas and Darcy spent all weekend in Guelph.

"Hi Clare," Rocky grins from Darcy's arms.

"Hi Rocky," Clare grins.

"I make you pitcher," Rocky tells her producing a crayon drawing from behind his back and giving it to Clare.

"Thank you Rocky, this is a great picture," she smiles blowing him a kiss and Rocky smiles proudly.

"I'll go grab some tape and we can hang it by your bed so you can always see it," I tell Clare and she grins.

Rocky only stays for a couple of hours because a hospital and a lot of teenagers and adults are not fun for a toddler. Audra picks up Rocky when Clare goes to her physio appointment, the others stay all day, we even get lunch and bring it back to the room. When she has her physical therapy session Eli and Jake take her while the rest of us turn her room into a movie theatre. Adam and Alli brought a couple of Clare's most favorite movies, we have popcorn and movie snacks and did our best to make her room look like a movie theatre, Clare can't go out with her weakened immune system but we can do our best to distract her and make it seem like she's out of the hospital, even if just for a few hours.

"How was your physical therapy session?" I ask Clare when Eli wheels her back in.

"Tiring. What did you do to my room?" Clare asks.

"It's our own personal movie theatre for the night," I tell her while Jake and I get her back into bed.

The nurse comes in to get Clare hooked to her IVs again and once she's comfortable we begin the movie. Probably knowing that both Eli and I want to sit with her Adam takes the spot next to her. So, Eli and I settle for sitting in the chairs next to her bed. The most important thing to me is that Clare's happy and comfortable and she is, she enjoys the time with everyone. During the second movie the nurse comes in to start her second round of treatment. The movie ends just as the nurse comes to turn off the chemo machine. Knowing she's soon going to be ill most people leave. Alli, Jenna, Drew, Bianca, Adam, Eli, Jake, Dave and Owen say goodnight to Clare and they all tell her they'll be back tomorrow. Since everyone has the week off school a lot of us plan to be here as much as possible. Dallas, Darcy and I are staying the night, actually I almost always stay the night, and since I stopped working at The Dot I have a lot more time. I don't exactly need the job anymore and Owen's parents understood.

"What do you need?" I ask Clare as she shivers.

"Hold me," she requests.

"All night," I assure her getting on the bed.

"Should we put on another movie?" Dallas asks.

"No I'm tired and…" she stops holding her hand to her mouth. I know that look and I grab the bucket just in time for her to vomit. She does it a few times before sinking into the bed but now she's shaking and sweating.

She curls up in my arms and I hold her. Dallas and Darcy watch for a minute but there's nothing they can do so they begin making the foldout to sleep. She continues to tremble and sweat for almost an hour but she doesn't vomit any more.

"Mark," she says weakly when she's been still for a while, I thought she was asleep.

"What do you need? What can I do?" I ask her.

"I feel gross now, I want to bathe," she says.

"One sponge bath, coming up," I grin.

"I'll get out fresh pajamas," Darcy comments getting up.

"I'll help you get set up and then we'll go and get some coffee," Dallas tells us.

Darcy gets out clean pajamas for Clare to wear after the bath, Dallas helps me get set up and they leave the room. Just after they leave an orderly comes in and takes the vomit bucket before leaving again. When the door to her room is closed and I know we're alone I take the blankets off her legs and begin taking her pajamas off. Her panties stay on and I put the blankets over any part of her I'm not washing. Taking the washcloth I tenderly wash her feet and legs, covering her legs again when I move up to her belly. She watches me and I grin, carefully washing her belly with my eyes locked on Clare's.

"Mark," she says in a timid voice but it's not weak and shaky like before.

"Yes Clare?"

"Kiss me," she requests.

"Happily, and anytime you wish," I grin leaning over to join my lips with hers in a blissful kiss.

 **(CLARE)**

"Hey Darcy," Eli smiles coming into my room Friday afternoon. School is out for the day but I was expecting a lot more people here than just Eli. Today is not just the last Friday in March but also the Ice Hounds championship game. A lot of people, including Darcy, are going to watch from the arena, but Mark, Eli, Adam, Jake and a few others were going to watch from my room.

"Hi Eli, I was just about to leave to get to the arena. Uh where's everyone else?" Darcy asks Eli the same thing I'm wondering.

"I asked them to give us some time alone, they'll be here in time to watch the game," Eli replies.

"Well then I'll get going too," Darcy replies kissing my forehead before she leaves.

"What's going on?" I ask Eli as he sits on my bed and takes my hand.

"You and I have been through a lot, and we've always come back to each other. We haven't always been best for each other but when it mattered we were there for each other. You know that where ever I am I'll always be there for you and we'll always be friends."

"You sound like you're going somewhere," I comment.

"I am, not right now but I will be leaving this summer. I got accepted to NYU," Eli says beaming with pride and I grin.

"Eli that's amazing I'm really proud of you," I say pulling him to me for a tight hug.

"Thanks, I'm very excited and really looking forward to next year, but I'm not going anywhere for a few months yet. I am however bowing out of the race for your affections. Not because my feelings for you have changed, they haven't and they won't anytime soon. But I'm conceding this fight, for one thing Fitz will be here with you next year and as deeply as I care about you NYU is my dream and I have to follow through with it. Furthermore, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but you and Fitz are good together. He really cares about you and he's very nurturing, and a lot better at being the rock you need while you're ill. I wish I could be but it brings up too much for me and I can't be the guy you need. You and Fitz make a good couple and I know you'll be in good hands next year," Eli tells me before he gently presses his lips to mine in a goodbye kiss.

"I know you'll do great at NYU next year but I'm really going to miss you," I say when our lips part.

"Uh can we come in yet?" Adam asks from the doorway.

"Yeah, we're done come on in, we need to get your TV tuned to the right channel for the Ice Hounds game," Eli replies.

Everyone I was expecting now enters my room, Eli gets off the bed and motions for Mark to sit next to me. I prop my bed up a little more and Mark gets on his side on my bed, putting an arm around me when he's settled. Adam puts the TV on the right channel but it's not the game yet so we turn the volume down and Eli tells everyone he was accepted to NYU. Adam already knew but everyone else is happy for Eli. When the game does begin Adam turns up the volume and everyone settles in to watch the Ice Hounds championship game. Right now it's just the announcers talking as the teams warm up, and players pictures and stats are shown on the screen from both teams. Finally, the game starts, we watch nervously but with much pride as our team plays. Dallas does great and Owen gets to play for two periods and also does incredible, I'm proud of them both. When the Ice Hounds win we all cheer so loud it brings a nurse running in but she leaves when she sees we're all incredibly happy. The cameras show the Ice Hounds skating around the ice in celebration before it goes to some ads and then the announcers with a wrap up, but then after a few commercials, it comes back to the Ice Hounds outside the locker room talking to the press.

"We'll answer all your questions in a moment but first we want to say that this game was dedicated to a dear friend of ours. Clare Edwards has been hospitalized and fighting cancer for the last two months. The tumor and the cancer paralyzed her from the waist down. She's not only been fighting cancer but fighting to get her mobility back and she's the strongest person we know," Dallas says and my eyes well up with tears.

"Clare this was for you," Owen says holding up the trophy they just won.

The press begins shouting questions at them, pictures get snapped and the Ice Hounds begin answering questions. We watch for a few minutes before my head care nurse comes in and says it's time for my treatment and I need to rest. She kicks out everyone except for Adam, Mark and Jake. Actually, she didn't kick Eli out he chose to leave on his own, he kisses my cheek and says goodnight before leaving with the others.

"Let's get you ready for bed before we start the treatment," the nurse comments.

"We'll go get some coffee and be right back," Jake tells me.

"I can get her into her pajamas and help her get ready for bed, if it's alright with Clare," Mark speaks up. The nurse looks at me and I nod, so she says to let her know when he's done. "Eli seemed happy, he should be NYU is a great school, but he also seemed a little different," Mark comments as he begins getting me into my pajamas.

"He was very excited to get into NYU it's his dream school. He also conceded the fight, he knows he won't be here next year and you will. He also knows how much you care about me, and so do I."

Mark stops putting on my pajama bottoms, looking up at me with eyes that sparkle giddily. His lips stretch across his face, his entire face seems to glow with happiness and it makes me smile. Briefly pulling my bottom lip into my teeth, I release it just before Mark's lips meet with mine. The kiss is soft and tender, our lips barely even open but it's filled with passion. After a moment Mark pulls his lips away but he still has that smile on his lips.

"So, will you be my girlfriend Clare?"

"Yes," I grin.

Mark looks even giddier and takes my lips again, only for a moment before he continues getting my pajamas on. I can get my shirt on and when my pajamas are on Mark lifts me into my wheelchair. He takes me into the washroom and I brush my teeth, wash my face and then he takes me back to the bed. He lifts me up and gets me comfortable in the bed before calling for the nurse. Just as she's starting the chemo Jake and Adam return to the room. Adam takes the remote and finds something for us to watch on TV and Mark gets comfortable on my bed. As soon as the medicine starts to course through my body I shiver and Mark holds me tighter.

"Call the nurse," I request of Mark after a few minutes.

"What's wrong?" Mark asks.

"I've got a muscle spasm in my leg, and it kind of burns," I tell him. Mark presses the call button for the nurse and a doctor comes in, Jake and Adam hadn't heard our conversation because we were whispering, but they look over when the doctor comes in.

"Hi Clare, are you feeling ill effects from the chemo?" Dr. Witter asks.

"I'm not sure, there's a muscle spasm in my leg and it kind of burns."

Dr. Witter turns the lights on while Mark pulls my blankets off my legs and he helps me get my pajama bottoms down. With my pajamas pulled down the muscle spasm is clearly visible. It's a big muscle going the length of my thigh, and for a few seconds it's like everyone is mesmerized by the twitching muscle.

"Where do you feel the burning sensation?" Dr. Witter reply.

"Where the spasm is, and kind of radiating around it, some pain too near my knee," I reply and it doesn't even occur to me what I just said. It does to everyone else though.

"Clare, you can feel your knee?" Adam exclaims.

"Yeah, my knee and the rest of my thigh," I reply with a big grin.

"Fitz I'm going to have you get off the bed while I examine Clare," Dr. Witter says and Mark gets off the bed. "Let's get your pajama bottoms off," Dr. Witter comments pulling the blankets off my legs.

"I'll get her pajama bottoms off," Mark says going to the foot of my bed. He gently gets my pajama bottoms off laying them over the foot of the bed.

"Alright Clare let me know what you can feel," Dr. Witter tells me before he begins poking and gently massaging my legs.

I've been in the hospital for 55 days, I was hoping that on Monday they'd tell me I could go home, before this it seemed like a pretty faint hope because two months was the minimum I'd be in here I was told. And in all the days I've been stuck in here I've only gotten sensation and mobility back to the tops of my thighs just below the hipbone. Even that was a major achievement and something to celebrate, but it seems I can feel everything to just below my knees now! It gives me a swell of hope that I haven't had in a long time.

"I can feel it, all of it. I can feel everything to my knees including my knees," I tell him and everyone gets very happy.

"That's great, I'm going to keep going, if you feel it then nod," Dr. Witter instructs. He continues palpating my legs, he lifts them and does the same underneath including under my knees and I feel all of it, until he gets below my knees and I can't feel anything still but the fact that I can feel a little over half my legs is huge. "This is a very good sign Clare, I want you to finish this course of treatment and then we'll test mobility. I can give you a muscle relaxant for the spasm but if I do that it's going to impair the mobility test later. Pain medication may do the same so for now Fitz can massage your leg to help relax the muscle. If it becomes too painful press the call button. I'll be back to stop the treatment and see how you're feeling."

"Thanks Doc," Jake grins and the doctor leaves the room. "Should I call our parents?" Jake asks.

"Not yet, I don't want them rushing down here," I tell Jake as Mark covers my legs again and gets back in the bed.

Mark begins massaging my leg where the muscle is spasming, Jake and Adam sit down again and we all wait anxiously for the treatment to be over. After a short time, Mark's massaging stops the spasming muscle which feels much better. When Dr. Witter finally returns and turns off the chemo machine my heart begins pounding nervously. Mark kisses my temple before he gets off the bed so Dr. Witter can examine me and test my mobility. Everyone gathers around my bed to watch.

"Okay Clare your muscles are going to be weak but you have sensation back so even if you can't move much I don't want you to get discouraged. I'm going to move your bed to a sitting position and then I want you to try and lift your knees slowly. Remember that you haven't been able to use these muscles on your own in two months so you may not be able to move much at first and don't get discouraged."

I nod and he moves my bed to a sitting position. I take a deep breath and look at my knees trying to move them. It's an incredibly frustrating feeling not to be able to do something that should be instinctual. While I'm not able to lift my knees or really bend them I do get them to twitch a little bit, to me it's a monumental achievement.

"Good Clare, that's very good. Now I'm going to roll you onto your side," he says. I'm able to move part of my body and he moves my feet and legs until they rest on top of each other. "Okay Clare I want you to try and lift your top leg, just using your hip and thigh muscles. I know you've been working those muscles in physical therapy but control over them is still going to be weak."

I nod, taking another deep breath and close my eyes for a second before trying to move my leg. I'm able to move it a little, lifting my thigh just the tiniest bit but my leg feels incredibly heavy. Dr. Witter tells me that was very good and gives me a moment to rest. Then we turn me to my other side and I do the same with this leg. I can't move that much but, that I can move at all is incredible and very encouraging.

"Awesome Clare this is great. I want you to get some rest now and I'll be back in the morning," he says helping me to my back before leaving the room.

"How do you feel?" Mark asks pulling the blankets back up and getting in bed with me again.

"Exhausted but amazing," I smile. My smile soon fades because now that the chemo's run through me, and the adrenaline of the thought of being able to move has worn off, I start feeling sick. "And like I need to vomit," I tell Mark.

"I got it," Adam says grabbing the bucket just before I vomit.

"Can I call Dad and Helen now?" Jake asks anxiously when I'm done.

"Yeah, but tell them I'm tired and not to come tonight," I tell Jake and he nods.

"I'm going to get ready for bed, I'll be right back," Mark says kissing my forehead.

"You'll be walking again in no time," Adam smiles at me.

"I hope so, I hope I can get out of this hospital soon and go home," I reply.

He smiles and stays with me until Mark and Jake return, Jake says he left a message on Glen's cell and they must be asleep. He also called Darcy and she was extremely excited but promised not to come until morning. When Mark gets back in the bed I fall asleep almost immediately, I didn't move very much but to me it was a lot and I'm now exhausted. I sleep quite happily in Mark's arms all night long, waking the next morning to many noises in my room. I find not just Mark, Jake and Adam in my room but Mom, Glen, Dad, Darcy, Dallas, Drew, Bianca, Adam, Alli, Jenna, Eli, Dave, K.C. and Owen also here and all excited.

"Hey Champion how do you feel?" Owen asks.

"I'm not the champion, you guys killed it last night and had a great championship game. And it was very sweet and special for you to dedicate the game to me," I grin.

"Dedicating the game and trophy was Owen's idea. We did win the game but you can move your legs, most of them anyway, and that makes you a champion in my book. What do you think we're all doing here so early? We heard the news and no one could sleep, we all got here as soon as it was light enough. So how you feeling?" Dallas asks.

"Being able to move more I feel like I could fly," I reply.

"That's what I like to hear Distract-Friend," Dallas grins.

"Well good news travels fast and brings a lot of support. It's good to see everyone. Clare I'm going to begin your first course of treatment for the day, everyone is welcome to stay. Do you want to get dressed first?" Dr. Witter inquires.

"Yes please," I nod.

Everyone besides Mom and Mark leave the room and they help me get dressed. When Mark helped me into my pajamas last night he took my wig off but I put one on now. Everyone comes back in my room and Dr. Witter starts the machine.

"Your physical therapy session is at noon today so after your treatment we're going to start a course of tests," Dr. Witter informs me and my face falls.

"More tests? I thought being able to move more was a good thing?" I question.

"It is Clare, it's a huge thing and the testing isn't about that. You're getting re-evaluated and if everything looks good you could be going home in as little as a week," Dr. Witter says and I feel like I could fly again. In fact, the whole room explodes in cheers. "This is good news but don't celebrate too early we need to see how the test results come back, do keep your hopes up though that's a good thing. I'll be back in an hour," Dr. Witter tells us all before leaving the room.

I don't think my mom heard a single word the doctor said because she starts talking about preparing for me to come home. I can only take a few minutes of it before I look at Dallas, thankfully my Distract-Friend knows what I want. He and Owen suggest that my parents go home to look at the house and figure it out. Darcy says she'll call them when we know about the tests and all three of my parents leave. I get through the treatment nervously anticipating the tests and the possibility of soon going home. With my parents finally gone people talk about school, weekend plans, Eli talks about what he wants to take at NYU next year. Dr. Witter comes to turn off the medicine, he tells me the nurse is going to come and get blood in about half an hour, if I'm not vomiting from the treatment. After my blood is drawn, I get taken for an MRI, which seems to take forever.

"Darcy's going to call your parents and fill them in, most people are going to get something to eat. But Adam, Owen and I are going to take you to your physio appointment," Dallas informs me when I return to my room.

Owen takes my wheelchair and they take me over to the physical therapy center. Alex greets everyone, and he heard I could move more so we work mostly on building strength in those muscles. Most of it with me sitting in the wheelchair with resistance bands on my legs and me, or one of the others, pulling them to get my legs to move.

"You're doing great Clare. How do you feel about trying to stand and lifting your legs, getting ready to walk again?" Alex asks.

"Okay," I nod nervously.

"Good, one of you help her up and keep her standing while one of you takes her wheelchair. Then one of you get behind her, you'll need to hold her waist and help support her," Alex instructs.

"I'll get her chair," Adam says.

"I'll hold her from behind not sure I trust Owen to do that," Dallas says and Owen grimaces at him.

"Hey, she's dating one of my best friends and even if she wasn't I'd be good," Owen grumbles.

"I'm only teasing, but she's my Distract-Friend I'll hold her you help her up," Dallas instructs.

"Arms around my neck," Owen tells me.

I put my arms around his neck and he slowly stands getting me out of the wheelchair. When I've been totally lifted from it Owen puts his arms around my waist. Adam takes the chair away and Owen gently puts me down, it's rather strange to know my feet are on the ground but I can't feel my feet, or the mat. In fact, I haven't stood up in two months so the first thing my body wants to do is fall, but Dallas puts his arms around me and holds tight. I put my arms on his to steady myself out of instinct, but with Dallas holding me I don't feel like I'm going to fall anymore. Just to be safe Owen and Adam stand on either side of us anyway. Alex stands in front of me and holding my knees he moves my legs, the most important thing to me right now is I can feel him holding my knees. Alex has me try and lift my legs and bend my knees up, this is a lot harder. I manage to bend my knees and lift my thighs by using my hip muscles but can't even get my foot off the ground. It doesn't matter Alex seems happy that I'm standing and getting the right muscles to move.

"You did great Clare, I know you're exhausted so why don't you go back to your room and rest. I want her to do another set of exercises this evening," Alex says as Owen and Dallas get me back into my wheelchair.

"We'll help her what does she need to do?" Dallas asks.

Alex tells them while I sip at my water. They take me back to my room and Mark helps me into bed. Dallas, Darcy, Adam and Owen go to get some lunch and I tell everyone about physio. A nurse brings me lunch and my parents return, and then when Dr. Witter comes back in my room everyone goes silent and looks at him.

"I'm glad everyone is here because we have excellent news, all your test results are back and you're officially in remission Clare," he says and everyone cheers. I can barely believe it and feel happy tears rush to my eyes while Mark kisses me gently. "Tonight will be your last round of chemo, tomorrow you'll begin maintenance medication. We'll keep you on the daily IV for a couple more days, we need to keep those fluids and medications going. You'll also be here at the hospital with us another week. We'll be doing a lot of testing in that week to make sure you're ready to go off chemo and go home. We also want to give your immune system some time to rebuild and get strong. I'll let you celebrate the good news, I'm about to go off shift but Dr. Maynard will be on shift soon."

"Thank you Doctor this is incredible news," Dad smiles shaking the doctors hand.

Everyone starts celebrating and hugging me, some people leave the room to make phone calls. I'm almost in shock, I've been living in this hospital 56 days now and I don't even remember the feel of my own bed. Everyone stays in my room celebrating, Dad and Glen even pick up pizza for dinner and everyone eats in my room. Mom, Glen and Dad apparently actually did make a plan for bringing me home, and making some changes to the house for my limited mobility. They begin telling me about it but it's all a little overwhelming, thankfully my Distract-Friend is on top of it.

"Clare needs to do some more exercises and her last round of chemo is soon. We should probably clear the room so she can do her exercises and rest before her chemo," Dallas announces.

"Yes, Dallas is right. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow but we'll be back to speak with the doctors," Glen comments.

Everyone says goodnight and congratulates me on being in remission before they leave. Mark is staying the night of course, along with Darcy and Dallas. When the others leave Dallas shows Mark and Darcy the exercises I learned earlier and they help, and then I'm exhausted again. It doesn't matter though all I can think about is getting out of this hospital soon.

 **Update soon probably picking up with Clare getting home from the hospital. Just a couple more chapters for this one and then** _ **Live in My House I'll be Your Shelter**_ **premier.**


	14. This Kind of Day Has No Night

**Second to last chapter everyone, hope you enjoy it!**

 **This chapter does contain potential** _ **trigger warnings**_ **.**

 **Ch. 14 This Kind of Day Has No Night**

 **(DALLAS)**

"Welcome home Clare," Helen smiles opening the door to the house. It's Saturday, the first Saturday in April and Clare's been released from the hospital. She's officially in remission. Yesterday her doctors said her immune system was strong enough for her to leave the hospital and come home. Fitz and I both went with her family to bring her home.

"We've made a few changes," Jake comments as Fitz carries her into the house. Darcy and I follow them in while Glen gets her wheelchair from the car.

"You moved everything around," Clare remarks when she sees the living room.

"We made it accessible, you'll have a wheelchair down here and we made sure that the wheelchair fits between everything so there's nothing you can't get to," Jake explains.

"When you're walking with crutches or a cane you'll still need more space to move around in. We also made sure anything you'd need from the kitchen was accessible to you so you can get it on your own," Glen adds.

"Not that you'll ever be here on your own, not for a long time anyway," Helen speaks up quickly.

"Thank you, this was a lot of work," Clare says.

"We're not done yet, but first you ride upstairs," Fitz says setting Clare down in a chair on the stairs. He pushes a button and she gasps as the chair moves. It's on a track and goes up and down the stairs. Fitz meets her at the top of the stairs and picks her up again.

"You have another wheelchair up here. We widened the doorway to your room and the washroom so the wheelchair could get through," Jake tells her.

"Washroom first," Fitz says carrying her into the washroom. Fewer changes were done in here, there's a chair for the shower and new railing, both in the shower and near the toilet. Everything Clare needs is at a height she can reach it. "Now your room," Fitz tells her turning and taking Clare into her room.

"You moved the furniture around and there's two beds," Clare comments.

"That's because I'm staying. We thought it would be best if I stayed in your room, at least until you can walk," Darcy explains.

"Dallas and Fitz are also welcome to stay over as much as you, and they, would like," Helen tells Clare and she smiles.

"Lots," Clare replies with a grin.

"We plan to," I assure Clare and Fitz nods in agreement.

"Now let's get you back downstairs and comfortable, everyone will be here soon to welcome you home," Fitz says.

He sets her back in the chair on the stairs and she rides it down. Fitz picks her up and takes her to the living room setting her in the big arm chair. The rest of us help move in some foldable chairs from the garage and get out food. Not so surprisingly the first to arrive are the Torres family, Bianca, my parents and Rocky. My parents brought him up this morning and they're all staying in town for the weekend. I see them pull up in the van and I go outside to greet them.

"DADDY," Rocky smiles squirming out of my mom's arms to run to me.

"Hey Buddy," I gin picking him up and hugging him close.

"Clare better?"

"Yes she is and I'm sure she'll be very happy to see you."

"See Clare," Rocky grins wriggling from my arms, he grabs my hand and pulls me inside. Adam, Drew, Bianca and our parents follow us. "Clare," Rocky smiles letting go of my hand to run to her. He runs over and crawls into her lap and she bends down picking him up and hugs him tightly. She has a delighted smile on her face and Darcy snaps a picture.

"So adorable," Darcy grins.

"You all better Clare?" Rocky asks.

"That's right Rocky, I'm not sick anymore," She smiles. Rocky grins and hugs her again while Drew, Adam, Bianca, the Torres parents and my parents come over to greet Clare. I look at Darcy and see tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong? You look like you're about to cry," I question putting my arm around her.

"I don't know," she says quietly taking my hand and pulling me to the stairs. Clare's surrounded by people so I'm sure she won't notice our temporary absence. "It just hit me all of a sudden, this wave of emotion. Watching Clare with Rocky and thinking she almost died. When I heard that she had cancer and was paralyzed all I could think was she might die. I thought I was going to lose my baby sister, I almost did and I wouldn't let myself show her how scared I was because I didn't want to scare her. Now she's home and getting better she's even able to move more but it's like it just hit me all at once, all the emotions."

"Your sister is probably the strongest girl I know, possibly the strongest person I know. She's beaten cancer and she's beating paralysis, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she's walking by the end of summer. She's so much more than a survivor Darcy and you should be eternally proud because she gets at least a part of that from you."

She smiles and kisses me gently, we break apart when the door opens and Owen comes in. We go down the stairs and back into the living room with Owen. Katie arrives, Alli, Jenna, Dave, Wes, Connor, Eli, K.C. and Grace arrives last and that's everyone. Clare is happy to be surrounded by her family and friends. Rocky stays in her lap for a bit and then Mom takes him to the kitchen to get something to eat. Eli brings Clare a plate of food, Darcy and I get some food and sit down with her, Fitz, Eli and Adam.

"So, Distract-Friend, now that you're out of the hospital what would you like to do?" I ask her as we eat.

"Everything. I wish I could see an Ice Hounds game live again," Clare replies.

"I'm sure we could arrange something," Owen smiles.

"I'd love to go skating again, remember when we would go ice skating when we were little Darc?"

"Yeah," Darcy replies with a soft reminiscent smile, "that was fun."

"I suppose skating will have to wait until I can walk again, if I walk again," she says a little sadly.

"You will Clare," Fitz assures her putting a hand on her arm.

"Of course, you will," I grin.

I look over at Owen and we exchange a smile and a nod, I'm sure he and I are formulating the same plan.

 **(CLARE)**

"Did you enjoy your welcome home party?" Mark asks carrying me into my room from the stair lift.

"I did, it was very nice to have everyone here and be out of the hospital. It feels like getting my life back and that feels good. Now if I could just walk again," I comment as he sets me on my bed.

"You will, you're getting there. Let's get you ready for bed. I'm staying tonight and so is Dallas," Mark says.

"Shouldn't he be home with Rocky?"

"He will, tomorrow he'll see Rocky and so can you but Dallas wants to be here on your first night home. He and I will sleep in here with you and Darcy. Now pajamas, where are the pajamas?"

"Top drawer."

Mark grins and goes to the dresser to get out pajamas. I ask him to get out my nightgown, a soft violet one I usually where when I'm sick, but it goes to my knees and since I don't need a urine bag any longer I've been sleeping without panties. It's difficult enough to get on the toilet even with help, trying to get my panties down too was just frustrating so I pretty much just stopped wearing them. Mark helps me out of my clothes and into the nightgown. Once I'm in my nightgown Mark rolls my wheelchair over and I grab onto the arm getting into it, with some help from Mark.

"Let me drive the wheelchair, I'll have to learn to do it," I insist to Mark.

"I'll be right here if you need me," he says. Steering a wheelchair in the hospital was somewhat easy because of the floors. In this house it's a bit harder, not to mention steering in the confines of my room is not so easy but I get it. Only takes a few seconds to roll across the hall to the washroom, once we're both in Mark closes the door and I get myself positioned at the sink to brush my teeth. "I need to pee," I tell Mark after brushing my teeth.

"You want help?" He asks. I think it's funny but it never bothers him to be with me and help me with these kinds of things. When I was first able to move and didn't need the urine bag any longer Mark would carry me to the washroom and help me every time.

"I want to try on my own just stay close," I tell him and he grins.

I wheel the chair a little to get on the toilet, before I even move I have to hike up the nightgown a little. When they made the modifications to the house they put a bar on the vanity to help me. I grab it and use the arm of the wheelchair to move, it's far more difficult than it seems, and I forgot to set the break on the wheelchair so it begins to roll. I try to stand but when you can't feel your feet that doesn't work so well.

"Whoa," Mark exclaims rushing over. He holds me with one arm and sets the brake on the wheelchair. "You okay? Gotta remember to lock the brakes," he says.

"Yeah, thanks," I smile kissing his cheek.

He stays with me until I'm done in the washroom and then follows me back to my room. I check e-mail from my laptop while Mark gets ready for bed. Then he comes in and holds me in bed, Darcy and Dallas stay downstairs watching TV for a while but I don't hear them come up because I fall asleep in Mark's arms.

Sunday after breakfast Mark and Jake take me to my physical therapy appointment. When we get home, we eat lunch with Mom, Darcy, Dallas and Rocky. Rocky spends most of the day with us before Darcy and Dallas take him to dinner but he returns to say goodbye. Rocky has to go home with his grandparents tonight but Dallas says he'll bring him up next weekend. Dallas is sleeping at home tonight, Mark is sleeping her tonight and I sleep in his arms again.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? You could stay home another week," Mom says when I get to the breakfast table Monday morning.

"Mom I missed so much school already. I kept up with things but the doctor said I was strong enough to go back and I want to go back. Mark will be with me, so will Dallas, Eli, Adam and everyone else. I'll be fine, if I need to come home I will," I assure her and she sighs as she relents.

Mark and I eat breakfast, he and Jake get my wheelchair and stuff in his car, and then he drives the two of us to school, while Jake follows us in his truck. When we pull up to the school Adam, Drew and Owen are here and Mark pulls up to the stairs. The ramp is around near the garden but you have to go through the fence.

"We'll take you inside," Adam tells me while Mark pops the trunk so they can get my wheelchair.

Drew comes over and picks me up while Owen wheels over my chair and Drew sets me into it. Owen puts my backpack on the back of the chair and I start rolling myself over the blacktop but rolling up the ramp is not as easy. Owen pushes me up the ramp but once we're inside I can easy roll myself over the linoleum. As we start going through the halls everyone is looking at me.

"Everyone is staring," I comment.

"They know you were sick and everything," Adam says.

"I can get them to stop," Owen offers in a threatening tone.

"No, it's okay, maybe they'll stop by lunch," I remark. I roll to my locker and realize I can't reach it.

"I got it," Adam smiles opening my locker for me.

"Thanks Adam," I reply handing him my books for my last two classes which I don't need yet.

"Hey, Distract-Friend how you feelin'?" Dallas asks coming over with Bianca and Eli.

"Good, ready to be back at school and get back to my life," I reply and Dallas grins.

Adam zips up my backpack and we go out to the foyer, Mark and Jake are just coming in. Alli, Jenna, Dave and K.C. are also in the foyer. No one stares at me now because with everyone standing up and surrounding me no one else can see me. When the bell rings Adam takes me to homeroom where Miss Oh is waiting. Because I was ill and unable to complete my co-op Miss Oh and Mr. Armstrong put me on independent study. I never did tell Miss Oh about Asher but now it may be too late and I'm still dealing with a lot. At least, Dallas and the others took care of Asher in a way. Besides having been ill and being paralyzed there are bigger things for me to deal with.

Miss Oh and I discuss my independent project and I spend the rest of class working on it with Miss Oh here. Adam left for co-op but he'll return at lunch. When the lunch bell rings Mark comes to get me from class. He walks beside me while I wheel myself to the caf. We eat with Eli, Adam, Grace, Dallas, Drew, Bianca, Jake, Katie, Alli, Dave, K.C. and Jenna. People stare during lunch too but I try to ignore them.

"You okay? Do you want to go home?" Mark asks wheeling me to Media studies after lunch.

"I'm okay, I want to stay for the rest of the day. It just feels a little weird that's all, last time I was here I could walk through these halls. Unlike my house nothing about this place has changed now that I'm out of the hospital. It doesn't help that everyone keeps staring," I comment.

"You'll be walking these halls again Clare," Mark assures me.

In this class we sit at tables and not desks with chairs attached, so Mark moves a chair for me to sit next to him at our table. It's the same for fourth period so I never need a special desk or anything. After school Mark, Adam and Dallas take me to my physical therapy appointment. Darcy meets us there and she stays with me for the appointment. After the appointment Darcy takes Dallas and Adam home and stays for dinner at the Torres house. Mark takes me home and he'll stay for dinner.

"I know Darcy sleeps in the room with me but will you stay again tonight?" I ask Mark as he drives me home.

"I'll stay as long as you want me to," Mark replies taking my hand.

"In that case I may never let you go home again," I reply.

Mark only chuckles interlacing our fingers and kissing the back of my hand.

 **(OWEN)**

"Hi Lucas, hi Jane, glad you two could make it," I smile letting them into the arena.

"Glad to help, been a while since I played hockey though," Lucas remarks.

"I never did, just football but how hard can hockey be," Jane replies.

"You'll do fine, besides your team has a ringer. There's gear and skates in the locker room find what fits," I tell them leading them into the locker room.

Jane and Lucas are the last players to arrive. Clare will be here later with our small audience but we thought those playing in tonight's special game would like some practice. When Clare was released from the hospital, at her welcome home party, she told us she wanted to see the Ice Hounds play a game and to go skating again. Well she can't stand let alone skate, and the season is over but Dallas and I got together and in the last three weeks we've been working to grant her wishes, at least as close as we can. After several phone calls we got two teams together. Some of the Ice Hounds including me, Dallas, Luke, Cam, Bo and Ingvar with Drew as an honorary second stringer in case we need an alternate. The other team consists of Jay, Lucas, Jane, Johnny, Spinner and ringer Dylan Michalchuk, Paige's brother who happens to be visiting at just the right time like Jane is. Adam is playing as alternate on their team.

After everyone, besides us Ice Hounds and Dylan who have our own, find gear that fits we go out to the ice to practice. We practice for a little over an hour. Because there are some people getting used to skating with gear, handling the sticks, hockey positions and play; all of us who can play hockey well spend the time working with someone who isn't used to it. I get to work with Jane, she's never played but has watched it on TV and been to a few games. We make her a goalie and I go over the rules with her, what a goalie can and can't do to make sure she knows. Then I help her with blocking and hitting the puck.

"Hey, Jake just called, they're on their way," Darcy announces over the loud speaker. She's been watching us from the control booth.

"That means the others will be arriving pretty soon too. Rest up everyone we'll start the game after Clare gets some ice time," Dallas announces.

While people go back to the locker room to rest we get ready for Clare. We couldn't exactly get her skates, there are sort of wheelchairs for ice sports but they are quite expensive, and since Clare won't be playing sports of any kind we didn't think that was a good idea. We can however pull her around on the ice with a sled.

"Mark what's going on where are we?" I hear Clare's voice down the hall and we skate over to meet them. Fitz walks over with her in his arms, Jake is with them and Clare is blindfolded.

"Well Distract-Friend," Dallas grins taking off her blindfold, "we're granting your wishes. Well, at least as closely as we were able."

"You're all in uniform," she smiles excitedly, "is there going to be a game?"

"In a bit, but first, you said you wanted to skate again. Seeing as you can't quite stand we didn't think skates would work but we hope this is a suitable substitute," I tell her motioning to the sled.

"When you can walk we'll take you skating," Dallas tells her.

"You two go get seats and we'll take Clare around the ice until she's had enough," I remark taking Clare from Fitz's arms.

Fitz gives her a soft kiss before he and Jake leave to go get seats in the arena. There are more people coming to watch and they should be arriving while we pull Clare around the arena. I set her on the sled, we got a long one so she could sit with her legs out. Dallas, the Torres brothers and I modified it a little. We put some high railing on the back so she could sit back like a chair, and handles on the sides so she can hang on. There's also a pillow on the back so she's comfortable.

"We'll start slow but if you want to go faster just say so," Dallas tells her as he picks up the rope. We made it pretty short so that she wouldn't be whipped around very much.

Dallas skates out and begins pulling her around the arena. As soon as she's gliding over the ice a smile spreads over her lips, a sight that makes the rest of us smile. They go around a couple of times before she tells Dallas to go faster, her elated giggling echoes in the arena. As other people begin to enter it's the first thing they hear and you can see them smile. Drew and Adam's parents arrive with Rocky, Clare's mom and Glen are here, Jenna and Alli are already here. OF course, Darcy was here watching us practice, Fitz and Jake brought Clare, and Paige came with Spinner. Grace, Dave, K.C. and Clare's dad are the only ones invited who haven't arrived yet.

After Dallas takes Clare around the ice a few times I take over and pull her. I go even faster than Dallas but Clare giggles the whole time. After I pull her a few times Cam pulls her and by now everyone is here. Everyone playing in the game is also back on the ice now and Cam pulls Clare back so she can see all of us.

"Did you enjoy being on the ice?" Dallas asks her.

"Very much, thank you for this it was great. But what's going on? Everyone's in hockey gear. Jane! I didn't even see you? When did you get home?"

"I flew in yesterday, I'm on spring break. Well Lucas knew I was coming and asked if I wanted to play in the game. When he explained it all and told me about you being sick I said definitely and I wanted to see you again. I know you were sick but I think you look great," Jane smiles.

"Thanks, it's great to see you again too. What game?" Clare asks looking at Dallas.

"Well, you said you wanted to see us play again. Only the season's over and we were sure we wouldn't get another team to play. So, we called around and made our own teams," he explains.

"You all went through so much trouble for me, thank you just doesn't seem adequate to express my gratitude," Clare says with happy tears in her eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about Distract-Friend it was no trouble at all. Right now though, we need to get you to the stands so you can watch," Dallas replies.

"I believe that's my job," Fitz says from the archway that leads to the ice.

We have to get Clare to Fitz so Dallas and I reach down and pick the sled up by the handles. Clare shrieks a bit and giggles as we lift her up, Fitz lifts her out of the sled and walks down the hallway to get her to their seats. The rest of us get our helmets, gloves and if necessary masks on since we took them off to rest and pull Clare around the ice. We got Coach Armstrong to referee for us and he arrived while we were pulling Clare around. Dylan's team gets the puck first and the game begins, Dave is now in the control booth calling the game for everyone in the stands. We all have fun, everyone gets some ice time, and every time we look at Clare she's smiling wide, which is the whole point of us doing this. Our little Ice Hounds team wins but with Dylan on their team, who is a phenomenal hockey player, it's very close. Everyone's cheering for us, Clare is clapping and cheering. When we get back to the locker room Fitz is there with Clare in his arms.

"Thank you so much everyone, this truly was a wonderful gift and I appreciate so much all that you did and everyone that helped," Clare smiles.

"It's not over yet everyone's going to your place for a BBQ, but first I'm going with Fitz, Dallas and Darcy to your physical therapy appointment," I tell Clare.

"Can I go?" Jane asks. "I'd like to help Clare."

"I think Jane should come and that you should take my sister and Rocky and go do something together. We'll see you all at dinner," Clare says to Dallas and he grins kissing her cheek.

"Okay, Jane with us then. We'll meet you guys out front since we're going in my car," I reply.

"Thank you again everyone, everything was wonderful," Clare thanks us once more as Fitz carries her away.

The rest of us go into the locker room, Jane being the only girl we let her shower first. Then Dallas and I shower, everyone else is going home because we aren't meeting at Clare's for a few hours, so they can shower there. Jane and I go out to my car, Fitz and Clare are waiting, she's sitting on the trunk of the car but does have her wheelchair, it's just folded up next to Fitz. I unlock the car, Fitz gets Clare off the trunk and puts her in the backseat while I get her wheelchair in the trunk. Jane gets in the passenger seat and I drive us to the hospital for Clare's appointment.

"Hi Clare, good to see you Fitz and Owen," Alex greets us when we come into the physical therapy center.

"Hi Alex, this Jane she's joining us today," Clare tells him.

"Welcome Jane, it's good to have you. Let's get started with your exercises Clare, and then if you're up for it I thought we'd try walking with the parallel bars," Alex says. The parallel bars aren't like the ones in gymnastics exactly, it's more like a short walkway of about six feet and railings, or parallel bars, on either side.

"I can do it," Clare nods resolutely. For the most part that's the attitude she's had throughout this whole thing.

We help Clare with her exercises, she's been doing these at least twice a day for the last ten weeks so she knows what to do. Fitz and I know exactly what to do to help her and it's easy to show Jane what to do. After Clare does her exercises and rests for a bit she says she's ready to try and walk.

"Alright, let's have one of you boys lift her up and take her to the parallel bars. Set her down in the middle, Jane and I will stand at the sides, Owen and Fitz stay in with her. Clare you'll need to stand, I know it's going to be difficult because you still can't feel below your knees. You'll have to mainly support yourself with your hands holding the bars. Fitz and Owen will be on either side of you and can also help to support you," Alex says and Clare nods.

The way we are currently I'm able to easily pick her up and I do. I walk her to the parallel bars and set her down. I keep hold of her waist to keep her up while she gets a firm hold of the bars.

"Don't let go," Clare whispers to me.

"Don't worry I've got you," I assure her. Fitz gets on the other side of her and takes hold of her just above my hands.

"Now Clare using your thighs and hips lift your legs, use the muscles to help bend your knees if you can. It's less about being able to walk just now than it is to get these muscle groups strong again and bearing weight. Using muscle memory for your body so you will be able to walk again. Move at your pace and if you need a rest tell us," Alex instructs and Clare nods.

"You can do this," Fitz affirms giving her a tender kiss.

We all watch Clare's feet, she's able to move her hips and by sort of kicking her leg out then rocking slightly, since she can't bend her knees still, is able to take a step. Even being behind her I see how happy she gets at taking a step. Then she takes another step, slow and somewhat unsteady, she's supporting all her weight with her hands on the rails but it's incredible and we still cheer.

"Excellent Clare, truly excellent you have come so far since you began," Alex praises after she's taken five steps. "Fitz why don't you hold her, Owen step out I'll put a chair down and you can rest for a few minutes Clare. If you're up to it we can do some more," Alex says.

I go under the bars to be next to Jane, Alex sets a chair down and Fitz guides Clare into it. Jane gets Clare some water and she sips at it, I can see that she's exhausted but I know she'll keep going and pushing herself. After resting a few minutes, she says she's ready to go again. Fitz helps her stand and Alex removes the chair, I quickly get behind her again to support her if she needs it. She takes another five steps and then Fitz picks her up and kisses her proudly.

"You did incredible today Clare, you should feel very proud. Go home and get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow," Alex tells her.

"You did amazing today," Fitz tells her picking her up.

Jane gets her wheelchair and Fitz puts her in it. We go back to my car and I take them to Clare's house, she falls asleep on the way there but after all the hard work and physio I'm not surprised. I get her wheelchair from the back and Fitz takes her inside, she wakes up in his arms and Jake lets us in.

"You should take a nap, we'll see you in a couple of hours for dinner," I tell Clare.

"Thanks for coming Owen, I'll see you in a bit," she yawns nuzzling into Fitz. I wave to them and go back out to my car.

"So, you staying at your mom's place?" I ask Jane when I get back in the car.

"Yeah, but she's at work. You want to come hang out until dinner?" Jane asks and I smile.

"Sure, I'd like that."

Jane tells me how to get to her mom's place, it's an apartment building but here mom's at work so Jane says I can use her mom's parking space. I follow Jane up to the apartment and she unlocks the door. She tells me to sit and gets us both some water to drink.

"I never thought Fitz would be dating Clare but they're really good together. He sure has changed, I thought the change Lucas made was impressive but Fitz really made a change. So have you, you're not at all what I remember," Jane comments.

"Yeah, we all grew up, found things to focus on I guess. Fitz going to juvie was a wakeup for me too, and having my kid brother at the school. Fitz had a crush on Clare last year but this year he proved himself to her, especially while she was sick. He's been major support for her."

"Lucas told me about her co-op boss assaulting her. Going through cancer and chemo, being paralyzed is hard enough but to be faced with it after sexual assault, a lot of people may have just given up. Clare's always been strong though, done what she wanted and not cared what others thought."

"That's for sure. I used to think she was just nerdy and odd, wearing a uniform to school when we didn't have to. Now that I know her I really admire that inner strength. We did take care of Asher though, there was no way he was going to get away with that. I was sure Spin would want to help, and Johnny since he knew Clare fairly well having dated Clare's best girl friend. Spin called Jay and Johnny called Lucas, was a bit surprised to see Lucas there actually."

"I think in some ways Lucas was there because of me. I was molested by our father when we were little. Memories I suppressed and rediscovered a few years ago. Lucas and Mom came to a couple therapy sessions with me. When the molestation happened Lucas was just a little kid too, but I know he carries a lot of guilt about not protecting me still."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," I say taking her hand without even realizing it.

"I've faced the memories and my father. Of course, I also go to school in California to get as far away from him as I can," she replies squeezing my hand and giving me sardonic smile. Watching her grin makes me grin.

We stay at her mom's talking and catching up until it's time to leave for Clare's place and dinner. When we arrive most everyone is here already, Clare is sitting outside since it's pretty nice out, a bit cold but she's bundled and Glen put up heat torches. She looks like she showered and changed and she looks very happy. Everyone has heard that she took some steps today and are congratulating her or saying how proud they are.

After Jane and I greet people we get some food and sit with Lucas, Jay, Spinner and Paige. We talk about the game today, we tell everyone about Clare's physical therapy appointment, Lucas talks a little about Izzy. After eating most people go inside because it's getting pretty cold, Clare was carried in a while ago. Jane and I stay outside, under a heat torch, for a while longer just talking and we soon realize we're the only ones left outside.

"Looks like the party is breaking up, we should probably go in and say goodbye. I can get a ride home from Lucas," she says.

"I don't mind taking you home," I reply and she smiles. We take care of our trash and douse the heat lamps, since we're the last ones out here, before we go back inside.

"It was great to see you again Clare," Jane says hugging her, "I'm here all week so I'm sure I'll see you again."

"It was great to see you too, and thanks again for playing in the hockey game and coming with me to the appointment," Clare smiles.

"I'll see you Monday at school," I tell Clare hugging her. "See you two Monday," I wave to Fitz and Jake and they wave back.

We thank Clare's parents for dinner and get back in my car. I drive Jane back to her mom's parking out front this time.

"I know you have school this week but would you like to hang out tomorrow?" Jane asks.

"Yeah, that would be great," I grin.

"I'll call you tomorrow then, goodnight Owen."

"Goodnight Jane."

I watch her go inside and drive home with a smile as I anticipate spending tomorrow with Jane.

 **Update soon jumping ahead a little and it will also be the last chapter for this story.**

 **If you haven't checked it out yet the 200 stories gallery is now complete!**


	15. FLY!

**Welcome to the last chapter everyone I hope you enjoy it.**

 ***I do not own and am not associated with the San Francisco 49rs or the Mississauga Steelheads**

 **Ch. 15 FLY!**

 **(CLARE)**

"Mark where are we going?" I question.

My heart pounds a little, my stomach full of anticipation and wonder as I sit blindfolded in the passenger seat of his car while he drives. It's Saturday, May 27th and many of our friends are at the school at their senior prom. In fact, that is where my sister was right now, with Dallas of course. Drew and Bianca were there, and Owen went with Jane who was visiting home for the summer. Eli and Jake went stag to prom. Eli and Dallas offered to buy me and Mark tickets and were sure no one would object. I thought it was sweet but I couldn't walk let alone dance and I didn't want everyone to spend their prom wondering how I was and asking me to dance, and needing to hold me up to do so.

"If I tell you where we're going then it won't be a surprise when we get there," Mark replies. His tone carries almost an arrogant teasing. Were it anyone else, other than maybe Dallas or Adam, I'd be worried about the plan was, especially being blindfolded. I trust Mark implicitly though and I know whatever he's planning it's entirely for my benefit because that's how he is.

He told me not to dress up tonight, in fact he told me to wear any old thing because I'd be changing when we got there. Well, I don't like to wear any old thing anymore (after weeks in a hospital gown and robe) and not with Mark most of all. However, since he basically told me not to dress up I knew we weren't going anywhere fancy. I opted for easy clothing, starting at my feet with the ballet flats Mark had helped me slip on before we left. Black yoga pants I chose because they were easy to dress up if we did go somewhere fancy but were also comfortable enough to wear for pretty much anything. Finally, a red scoop-neck, loose but sexy, the back went down pretty low and the scoop neck was so wide it would occasionally slip off one shoulder and show a peek at my lacy black bra. I had a jacket as well but I wasn't wearing it because the early evening was still warm. My cross adorns my neck and red garnet studs in my ears but I didn't put on any other jewelry tonight.

"Keep the blindfold on," Mark tells me when he parks.

I hear his car door open and close, I know it's almost dark because of the time we left. I can just see lights in the parking lot, of where ever we are, through the blindfold. I hear Mark running around the car and I unbuckle my seatbelt. He opens the trunk and gets out my wheelchair, I hear him bringing it over. He opens the car door and picks me up, I put my arms around his neck and he sets me in the wheelchair. He wheels me a short distance, I feel the small bump when we go from parking lot to sidewalk. It's a very short distance before we reach a door, I feel Mark stop the chair and turn me around to get me through the door. Where ever he brought me the building is very large, I can hear the echoes coming from inside. Mark pulls me through and I hear the door shutting with a loud bang behind us. Mark turns my wheelchair around and lifts the blindfold, I had no idea where we were but this wasn't even in the realm of what I expected.

"Mark what are we doing here?" I question watching two very strong men performing a trapeze act.

"Well, you can't dance but you're going to fly," Mark replies.

"Are you crazy? I can't do that," I exclaim watching one of the men do a twirl in midair and catch the trapeze. He swings to a platform and begins climbing down.

"Actually, you can, you won't need your legs I looked into it," Mark says and kneels down by my wheelchair so he can look up at me. "I know that despite your protests you want to be at prom tonight and that a big part of you wishes you could dance. Well I can't dance with you but I can make you fly."

"Mark this is sweet but crazy! I can't do that and it must have cost you a fortune you can't afford a private trapeze lesson," I comment. I remember Darcy and I wanting horseback riding lessons when we were little and Mom made a fuss about how expensive private lessons were. Surely this had to be more than horseback riding, I mean how many people could want to take trapeze lessons?

"You're right it was a lot, but you're worth it Clare," Mark says with a grin before giving me a gentle kiss. I want to argue more but the very strong trapeze man is coming to us. The spandex he's wearing leaves very little to the imagination and being in the wheelchair it's right at my eyeline.

"Hi Fitz," the guy smiles and I force myself to look at his eyeline, feeling my cheeks get hot.

"Hi Tim," Mark greets and then Tim kneels down to look in my eyes.

"And you would be Clare, I'm Tim and that's Jason," Tim says showing me the man now climbing down the very tall ladder at the other end. "Ready to fly?" Tim asks and all I can do is nod.

"I'll get her ready," Mark says. He picks me up from the wheelchair and I notice he has a backpack with him. He carries me into a locker room and sets me on a bench.

"Mark really how could you afford this? You didn't do anything illegal did you?"

Mark laughs, "No nothing illegal. Tim and Jason own the training center. I told them about you and that I didn't have a lot of money so we worked out a deal. I'll have to spend some weekends and evenings here cleaning for the next two months but you're worth it."

I don't know how to reply, that a guy thinks so much of me fills me with happiness and a new sense of bliss. I grip Mark's shirt and pull him to me ensnaring his lips with mine. I kiss him with gratefulness, joy, passion and love, I just hope he feels through my lips how I'm feeling inside.

"Thank you Mark."

He smiles and brushes his fingers along my cheek. "I'd better get you ready. Darcy helped me pick this out," he tells me pulling a purple leotard from the backpack.

"It's perfect, just like you," I smile.

Mark helps me out of my clothes and into the leotard before carrying me back out. Tim and Jason come over, Mark sets me on a gym mat then Tim and Jason bind my legs together with straps. They tell me they need to keep my legs together since I have little control over them and not much strength still. I can see how a leg flailing out at the wrong moment could be very bad. One binding at the ankles, one just below my knees which I can feel and one around my thighs which I can also feel but it's not bad.

"Okay Clare, you'll hold onto me and we'll get you up the ladder. You won't be connected to a harness because you wouldn't be able to swing. If you fall you'll just bounce into the net," Tim tells me. To demonstrate this point Jason takes a flying leap from the top of the platform into the net. He bounces a couple of times but it looks rather fun actually and I have no more fear of falling.

Tim kneels down and I put my arms around his neck, he stands up and I'm holding onto him. He tells me to hold on tight and he begins ascending the ladder. It feels like a very long time before we reach the platform, once we're up Tim lowers me to sit on the platform. I look down at Mark and he looks so small and so far away, but even from up here I can see the large grin on Mark's face and it makes me smile.

"Alright Clare, first thing to remember is there's no reason to fear a fall. I'm going to move you to the edge of the platform, hold onto the bar and we'll have a hold of you. We'll take a few big swings so you get used to the rhythm before we try anything else. You tell us what you're ready for," Tim tells me.

"Okay," I nod with a deep breath, "let's do this."

He helps me move until I'm sitting on the edge of the platform and my feet are hanging off. He gives me gripping gloves to put on and powder to keep my hands dry. Then he sits down next to me holding the trapeze bar, and tells me to put both hands on it with a firm grip, and I do. He puts an arm around my waist and holds tight. I can feel every muscle in his arm and along his side as he holds me tight.

"Ready?" Tim asks.

I nod but at the same time my stomach fills with butterflies and a rush goes through me. He counts to three and suddenly we're off, it's not like the swings at the park I feel like I'm flying. Peter Pan and Tinkerbell could have flown through the window and sprinkled me with pixie dust and I couldn't feel any more like I was flying than this sensation. In the tiniest fraction of a second the fact that I can't walk, that I still have no sensation below my knees and very little control over my legs, doesn't matter because I can fly!

We swing back and forth once before getting back to the platform. I was so breathless in the air it's not until my butt is back on the platform that I break into giggles. It's like the sensation of a rollercoaster times a hundred! Tim graciously gives me a moment to stop giggling before sitting with me again.

"Ready for a hand off?" He asks and I nod, after that I'm up for pretty much anything. "Good, we're going to swing once so you can get the timing, when we swing back grab the bar and Jason will take your waist. If you're scared to let go and grab the other bar just say "no" and I'll keep hold of you. Remember that even if you do fall you'll bounce right into the net and then we'll bring you back up."

I nod with a deep breath and put some more powder on my hands. Tim sits with me and I grab the bar, he grabs hold of my waist and suddenly we're flying through the air again! I watch Jason flying toward us, and for a brief second wonder if this is what birds see as they fly toward each other.

"Now Clare," Tim says to me.

I don't even think just let go of the trapeze and at the same second Tim releases my waist. For the tiniest fraction of a moment I'm truly flying, I'm not falling, I'm not holding the bar, Tim's not holding me and neither is Jason. Then my hands firmly grip the bar and Jason's arm encircles my waist tightly. I release a breath I didn't know I was holding and we soar to the safety of the platform.

For a while I just swing back and forth, holding the bar and them holding me, and then we take a break. I sit on the platform breathless, my arms are sore but I have never felt better. Jason gives me some water and a few minutes to catch my breath.

"Ready to try something else?" Jason asks me.

"Yes," I nod.

"Alright lie on your back, I'll put the trapeze under your knees. Hold tight with your legs, as tight as you can. I know your muscles are still week but I'll be on there with you and if you fall the net will catch you," Jason tells me and I nod.

I lie back and feel Jason help me get my legs into position. He warns me that he's going to raise the trapeze and it starts to lift pulling me up from the platform. Suddenly I'm hanging like a bat from the trapeze, I see Mark below me and I use what muscle and strength I have to grip the trapeze like a vice. Jason steps on and I feel the trapeze lower a little again, we begin swinging just a little at first but it isn't long before we're whooshing through the air once more. Tim begins swinging from the opposite platform and I see him getting closer and closer.

"Clare, hold your hands down and lean back. Next time we swing out Tim will grab your arms, use your hands to hold tight to his wrists and release your legs when you have his wrists," Jason instructs me.

"Okay," I reply.

I do as instructed, craning back as much as I can, my eyes lock with Tim's and he grabs my arms. I slide off the trapeze and he holds me, I hold his wrists and I'm flying again.

"Let go of my wrists Clare, I'm going to spin you around," Tim tells me.

"You're going to what?" I question. I don't have time to think about it because as soon as I let go of his wrists he lets go of mine while turning me hard so that I spin around. I'm facing Jason again and giggling from my air dancing, I'm not sure what else to call it but it's a lot of fun.

"I'm going to swing you out and Jason will catch you," Tim informs me.

I don't even question it, at this point I'm up for anything! Tim swings me out and I fly, Jason catches my legs and spins me around and then he passes me back to Tim. We continue this way for a few passes until Jason misses me, or rather I miss him because it's all about timing and I'm new at this, and I fall. I land in the net giggling and full of joy. I look over at Mark, he's wearing a huge smile just watching me and I blow him a kiss and he blows one back.

After they retrieve me from the net I hold onto Jason and he climbs back up the ladder to the platform. I fly back and forth between the very strong grips of Jason and Tim for quite some time. I fall into the net two more times but even that feels like I'm flying and I love every moment of it! When the session is over, which comes much too soon for my liking, Tim simply lets me fall into the net one last time I roll to the edge and Mark lifts me out.

"How do you feel?" Mark asks.

"Amazing! Like I can do anything," I grin.

"And you can," Mark smiles before quickly touching his lips to mine. "Right now, we should get you changed and return to your house for dinner."

"I don't want to change, take me home like this. I want to remember every moment of this."

He laughs and takes me back to the locker room. He takes the bindings from my legs, puts my shoes back on and puts everything else into the backpack. He carries me back out to my wheelchair and sets me down, we thank Tim and Jason before going out to the car. Mark gets me in and I buckle up while he gets my wheelchair into the trunk. During the entire drive home, I wear an incredibly ecstatic smile. My house is surprisingly empty when we return, I knew Jake, Darcy and Dallas would be at prom but expected Mom and Glen to be home.

"Your parents are on a date, they promised to be back late," Mark enlightens me. "I'll order a pizza for dinner," Mark says as I wheel myself into the living room.

He orders a pizza and then, even though it's a warm night, he starts a fire in the gas fireplace. Then he lifts me up and sets me in his lap on the sofa, the lights in the kitchen are dimmed and the fireplace is the only illumination for most of the room. I link my arms around his neck and capture his lips. So much passion and ardent heat is in the kiss I think it may burn our lips off. I pull away and take a breath keeping my eyes locked with Mark.

"Thank you for tonight Mark. There is not a more perfect gift you could have given me, it was thoughtful and generous and you are amazing. I love you."

"I love you, and I would do anything for you Clare," he replies with a soft and tender smile before our lips touch again.

When the pizza comes Mark lifts me up and sets me on the sofa to answer the door. He pays for the pizza and we eat on the floor by the fire which is quite romantic. After dinner, he takes me upstairs to the shower and helps me bathe, then he helps me get ready for bed and lies down with me. We both sleep very soundly and wake late the next morning. Everyone is home and I tell them about my night of flying before Darcy and Jake tell us all about prom. I know Darcy was out all night with Dallas because I never heard her come in and Mark slept in my bed all night. We take an easy morning and then start getting ready because this afternoon Jake and many of our other friends graduate.

Darcy helps me dress and I wheel across to the washroom to brush my hair, put on deodorant and do my makeup. Darcy and Jake leave first in his truck because he has to get there a little earlier than we do, and Darcy wants to see Dallas. Mark and I go with Glen and Mom in her car. The parking lot is already pretty full so Glen stops at the ramp, Mark gets out and gets my chair then gets me and sets me in it. As he starts to wheel me in Adam runs over and holds the door. Mark wheels me through the door, Audra and Omar follow us in and I greet them all once we're inside.

Mark wheels me into the auditorium and moves a couple chairs on the aisle so he can park my wheelchair and then he sits next to me. Adam sits just in front of us with his parents, Darcy has Rocky on her lap and is sitting with Dallas' parents Natalie and Gordon. I see Tris and Owen's parents, after Mark points them out, and we wave to them. Mom and Glen come in and find us, sitting with us and just behind Darcy. Rocky notices we're here and he gets off Darcy's lap and comes over to see us.

"Hi Rocky," I smile.

"Hi Clare," he grins at me and waves to Mark, "you come to see Daddy gadeeate?" Rocky asks as he climbs into my lap.

"Yes, I did Rocky, I also came to see my brother Jake graduate and our friends Owen, Drew and Bianca, and my good friend Eli graduate," I smile.

He grins and turns himself around to see the stage as the music starts. As the graduates come out I wave to the ones I know. Rocky waves to his dad and Dallas waves back. Rocky spends the ceremony going back and forth between my lap and Darcy's. He likes clapping for everyone but he gets pretty bored during the speeches. When Dallas finally does get off stage Rocky runs to him. I want to go greet everyone but all the families are crowding the stage and I can't get there. Mark must know because he simply lifts me up and carries me through the crowd, I'm able to hug my friends from his arms anyway.

"Everyone get together for a picture," Audra calls and everyone gets into position.

I get laid across the arms of Mark, Eli, Jake and Dallas. Darcy is next to Dallas holding Rocky and Owen next to her. On the other side of Mark is Bianca and Drew with Adam in front of them. Audra snaps a picture and then Mark takes me back into his arms and crushes his lips to mine.

 **(FITZ)**

"Dude stop pacing, you're going to wear a hole in the grass," I scold Dallas.

"I'm anxious," he says wringing his hand together, "I've been waiting for this day for over a year."

"I know," I laugh patting his shoulder.

"Mark is right you need to relax, it's not like Darcy is going to say no," Drew comments.

It's Saturday, August 28th and today Darcy and Dallas are getting married. I have the honor of being his best man, Drew and Adam are his groomsmen. Clare is Darcy's maid of honor, Grace and Bianca are her bridesmaids. Grace, Bianca and Darcy have all become very good friends in the last few years, mostly because we've all spent a great deal of time together.

It's been just over 4 years since Dallas graduated from DeGrassi. After graduating Dallas got drafted to the Mississauga Steelheads so he stayed in the area. He also took part time classes at Centennial and Darcy of course stayed in the area, she also took classes at Centennial. Bianca was only an hour away at Wilfrid Laurier and Drew followed her to Waterloo getting a job with an entertainment and party planning company. Jake and Owen went to California, Jake to UCSC and Owen on a football scholarship to UCSF, currently Owen is playing for the 49rs and he and Jane have been dating for the last four years. Eli went to NYU of course, he's at the wedding as did Jake and Owen with Jane. Mostly through Clare we've all remained good friends, even me and Eli, and we always got together when people were in town.

Clare, Adam and I, along with others, graduated a year after Dallas and the others. Adam and Clare both go to U of T, I wasn't smart enough for U of T but I've been going to Centennial, I even took some of the same classes as Darcy and Dallas. We also got an apartment together, that is me, Clare, Darcy and Dallas. We got a three-bedroom in Etobicoke near Humber Bay, it's about halfway between Mississauga and U of T but was a little farther from Centennial. All of us except for Clare have at least a part time job, she does have scholarship money and disability money to help.

Actually, she's made incredible progress in mobility and is able to walk but she'll never be able to move like she once did. Sensation has returned to everything above her ankles, the doctors are pretty sure she'd never get mobility or sensation back below her ankles. She can walk but if she has to stand or walk for any great amount of time she needs crutches or her wheelchair. It's hard to stand and walk when you can't feel your feet. It's also made for a few injuries, the worst probably being when Clare stepped on a piece of broken glass at the beach. Not having any sensation in her feet she had no idea, but when I saw the sand going red under her foot I almost had a heart attack.

"The girls are ready and the guests are seated I've told them to start the music," Natalie tells us before she sits next to Gordon.

"Here we go," Dallas breaths out with a happy grin.

Dallas, Adam, Drew and I stand in our positions just as the music begins. Rocky, now almost seven, is ring bearer and heads the procession. Grace and then Bianca come out next. Clare, even though she can walk, was worried about making it down the aisle which is really just a cloth runner over grass and in heels. Darcy and Dallas understood so instead of having her walk she's being carried down the aisle by Owen, Eli and Jake as they hold a sort of throne. Since the wedding is small and everyone here knows about Clare's cancer and paralysis no one thinks that the maid of honor (rather than the bride) being carried on a throne is strange.

Darcy is last, her father escorting her, a bouquet of lilies and roses in her hand. She looks beautiful in her long white dress, made of some shiny material with spaghetti straps. It has beads along the neckline and around the waist. When she and Dallas lock eyes they grin so bright it's almost blinding but it's cute to see. Of course, having lived together the last three years we've been witness to the blossoming of their love, as they have mine and Clare's.

Randall kisses Darcy's cheek and Dallas takes her hand as Randall sits. The pastor begins talking, opening with a prayer and the usual talk about the love of Darcy and Dallas, and all of us gathering here to witness this moment. I'm barely listening as I spend the time looking at Clare and picturing us getting married. Rocky gives the rings at the appropriate time, Darcy and Dallas exchange "I dos" and vows, and then the pastor pronounces them husband and wife as the blissfully happy couple shares a deep kiss. Everyone cheers and Rocky hugs them both, people begin moving inside while the wedding party and families stay out here for pictures. I help Clare up and between all of us, and her own strength, she manages to stand and move for the pictures. When pictures are done Clare walks inside on my arm, Jake walks close on the other side of her just to be safe. We sit down at the wedding party table and watch Darcy and Dallas take their first dance as a married couple. Then they sit and dinner is served, once everyone is eating Clare taps her glass.

"If I were the blushing bride myself I couldn't be prouder or happier today than I already am today. To see my sister, marry Dallas and bring my Distract-Friend into the family makes me incredibly happy. I've watched their love bloom, flourish and grow and I couldn't think of a better match for my sister, or a better match for Dallas. I am honored to be their sister and their friend and so grateful for them both," Clare finishes her speech and Darcy kisses her cheek while Dallas gets up to hug her.

I make a short speech after the applause has quieted down, Dallas' Dad and Darcy's parents make speeches as we eat. Having rested a while during dinner when I ask Clare to dance she smiles and takes my hand. She dances with me and then with Adam, then Eli, then Dallas and then she's having trouble standing but Owen takes her back to the table. After cake Clare wants to dance again and I am more than happy to oblige. Darcy tosses her bouquet which Bianca catches, and Dallas tosses the garter, which is caught by Adam. Clare and I didn't actually participate in trying to catch either. We do wave to Darcy and Dallas before they leave for their honeymoon and Rocky comes over to us standing between our chairs.

"Ready to go home Buddy?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm tired Uncle Mark," Rocky nods.

He's been calling us Uncle Mark and Aunt Clare for at least the last three years. Rocky has been staying with us at the apartment every weekend since we got it, the third bedroom is actually his. Tomorrow evening we'll take him back to his mom's place, she's been going to school in Guelph and after graduating got a job there. Until then Rocky's with me and Clare since Dallas and Darcy are leaving for 10 days in Puerto Rico.

"You going to come watch us tomorrow at trapeze?" Clare asks Rocky.

"Yeah, I love going, I can't wait until I'm old enough to do it," Rocky grins.

Yes, Clare has kept doing trapeze, paying for lessons after that night but she absolutely loved it. It's helped her build up a lot of strength in her whole body too. After watching her being so thrilled while doing it I started taking lessons too, those male gymnasts are toned for a reason and I've got a lot of muscle tone now. Clare and I are actually pretty good now and can handle the trapeze by ourselves, with a trainer close at hand but not on the trapeze with us.

I pick Clare up into my arms and the three of us say our goodbyes and get into my car. Clare's able to walk into the apartment but she looks exhausted, Rocky is old enough to get himself ready for bed. After he says goodnight to Clare I tuck him in and read him story. When I get back to our bedroom Clare is ready for bed and lying happily between the soft sheets. I get ready for bed quickly, stripping down to my boxers and sliding in with her. She smiles, rolls over and puts her hand on my chest.

"You're going to make a wonderful father one-day Mark," she whispers and her hot breath ghosts over my chest.

"Does that mean you've thought about having children with me?" I ask arching an eyebrow as I put an arm around her.

"Of course, I have," she says before placing a feather soft kiss on my chest, "I'm deeply in love with you I think about being married to you and having children with you every day."

"I am deeply in love with you too Clare," I grin kissing her forehead, "and I would be incredibly honored if you would be my wife one day."

"Was that a proposal?" She asks as her fingers softly drum on my pec.

"Yes, I guess it was."

"In that case," she remarks looking up at me, "nothing would make me happier. Yes, I will marry you Mark."

I grin wider than I knew was possible, circling my arms around her and pulling her body to mine. Our lips join together in a scintillatingly, passionate kiss of unending love!

 **Hope you all enjoyed this story, I've enjoyed sharing the drama, fluff, friendship and romance with you. A/N: I have never taken trapeze lessons and I don't know how much they do with you at first but I put in what I wanted for the story. Replacing this, which I hope you know by now, is** _ **Live in My House I'll be Your Shelter.**_

 **Next updates will be** _ **Once Was a Pirate.**_


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